


G-RATED CHAT

by jisood



Category: ASTRO (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: ASTRO are famous, Group chat, LOVE DINO, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Non-Idol, Pining, Tags to be added, Texting, also let's pretend wonwoo and jungkook are related bc y not, astro ensemble - Freeform, basically members of astro are everyone's fave celebrities, but they aren't astro??, dino is everyones child, mentions of other idol groups, seventeen ensemble - Freeform, some of these ships are not canon, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-11-06 16:25:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 32,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11039889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jisood/pseuds/jisood
Summary: astro meets seventeen and people wonder how many people can actually fit into one chatroomaka chatroom hell





	1. wEL COME

**Author's Note:**

> okay so both ASTRO and SEVENTEEN had BOMB ASS comebacks the past few days so I decided I should mash my 2 most favorite pure bands together into a chat fic so here we are!! lmao we'll see how this goes!! btw this will have little to no plot involved basically just my Bois loving eachother and everyone so OT19?? idk there is gonna be a lot of people and maybe not every chapter will include everyone but i'll try!!
> 
> so here are the names of everyone (ik ik they aren't original sue me) (or give me suggestions!!):
> 
> ASTRO-  
> Jinwoo~ father  
> Myungjin~ mother  
> Dongmin~ chachawoo  
> Moon Bin~ puppycat  
> Minhyuk~ therock  
> Sanha~ tallbeagle
> 
> SVT-  
> Seungcheol~ dad  
> Jeonghan~ angelface  
> Jisoo~ joshed  
> Junhui~ goodgemini  
> Soonyoung~ HOSH  
> Wonwoo~ whatwoo  
> Jihoon~ woozi  
> Seokmin~ dkcountryreturns  
> Mingyu~ visual  
> Minghao~ minghoe  
> Seungkwan~hitthekwan  
> Hansol~ verdone  
> Chan~ dino-saur

_dino-saur added 18 other users to chat_

_dino-saur named chat: it's mingle time_

 

 **dino-saur** hELLO EVERYONE WELCOME

 **angelface** chan sweety~~ what is this

 **father**?? 

 **mother** who are y'all what is happening

 **nicegemini** are there actually 19 fucking people in this chatroom

 **tallbeagle** CHANNIE HYUNG YOU ACTUALLY DID IT

 **dino-saur** of cOURSE i DID 

 **therock** sanha what have u done

 **minhoe** r u dwayne johnson

 **therock** what no

 **HOSH** ah i wish you were dwayne johnson he's so daddy 

 **dkcountryreturns** soonyoung 

 **HOSH** sorry babe it's true

 **dad** Ok. Let's all settle and introduce ourselves.

 **father** how about we all calm down and introduce ourselves so it's less confusing

 **puppycat** oh wow

 **visual** impressive

 **whatwoo** do we have 2 dads now

 **hitthekwan**  whaAT Is hAPEENign

 **verdone** LETS LISTEN To DADS

 **dad** Thank you Hansol.

 **verdone** np dad

 **dad** Okay I'll start I suppose. Hello to all who don't know me, I'm Choi Seungcheol, I'm 21 years old, and I live in Seoul.

 **woozi** you're so boring cheol

 **angelface** i'll go next!! btw we all live in Seoul together just to let you know~~

 **angelface** so im yoon jeonghan, also 21, i'm dating the beautiful hong jisoo so ahem back off,,, anyway nice to meet you!!~~

 **dino-saur** he's our mom figure!

 **mother** hello~~ 

 **joshed** han pls

 **angelface** <3

 **joshed** welp i'm hong jisoo but you can call me joshua, im 21 also, and i love music and rabbits

 **puppycat** this is going to take forever ye

 **tallbeagle** shhh binnie hyung let them continue

 **goodgemini** hello

 **goodgemini** i'm junhui, gemini, chinese, 20, aspiring actor

 **HOSH** wtf

 **whatwoo** yikes

 **mother** should i be feeling threatened rn bc i am

 **minghoe** jun hyung wtf

 **goodgemini** what?????

 **woozi** you sound like some weird guy you meet at the bar who has one beer and tells you their life story

 **goodgemini** ?!!/!? iT WAS strAIGHT TO THE POINT

 **HOSH** anyway,,, moving on

 **HOSH** im kwon soonyoung!!! i'm 20 years old and i like to dance!! 

 **dkcountryreturns** ahem,,,

 **dkcountryreturns** cough cough cough

 **dkcountryreturns** :)))))))

 **HOSH** AH yes and i am dating seokmin btw

 **father** we couldn't tell,,

 **therock** DID I HEAR DANCE

 **therock** D A n CE

 **hitthekwan** wow seok that was some smooth shit right there

 **dkcountryreturns** aW i AM SO tOUCHED I LoVE YOU <3333333

 **HOSH** I LOV E YIO TOO <333

 **whatwoo** hello i am jeon wonwoo

 **visual** w o w

 **puppycat** aRE You relaTED TTO JEON JUNGKOOK

 **joshed** isn't he the maknae from bts

 **puppycat** yE s

 **whatwoo** yes i am!

 **puppycat** SHCGFEU

 **therock** he literally just fell to the floor

 **therock** i think he's crying?

 **therock** yup. crying.

 **puppycat** i LOVE JEON JUNGKOOK

 **whatwoo** he's my cousin

 **tallbeagle** binnie hyung are you okau

 **puppycat** wonWOO tELL yoUR COUSin i WANNA SuCC

 **mother** oooh don't let dongmin hear youuu

 **father** where is dongmin?!

 **woozi** my turn losers. i'm lee jihoon, i'm 20 years old, i'm not short, and i am dating seungcheol

 **visual** thatS a  L I E

 **visual** jiHOON iS 5'5

 **mother** g a SP

 **mother** JINJIN DO YOU KNOW HWAT THis mENAs

 **father** hyUNG

 **mother** S OMEONE IS SHORTER THB US 

 **tallbeagle** theyre crying lol!

 **verdone** i think we've made mmost of y'all cry and it's been like 10 minutes i think we desrve an award

 **woozi** kim mingyu

 **visual** OOPS

 **woozi** do you want to live till your 21 birthday?

 **visual** yes jihoon

 **woozi** then i suggest keeping your mouth shut :)

 **visual** y ES JIHOON

 **dkcountryreturns** HELLO!! i am dk, aka dokyeom, aka lee seokmin!! i am 20 and dating hoshi aka soonyoung!!

 **hitthekwan** they REEALy like eachother btw

 **verdone** yeh be prepared to endure lots of gooey shit with these 2

 **HOSH** okay VERKWAN just bc y'all have some UST goinf on does not mean u can act annoyed about our loving relationship 

 **verdone** wh a t

 **hitthekwan** suddenly i have a thing at the thing bYE

 **dino-saur** mom

 **mother** yes?

 **angelface** yes dear?

 **mother** oops wrong child 

 **dino-saur** what is UST?

 **angelface** ahh well channie, ust stands for unresolved sexual tension, and it's something we have to deal with on a daily basis

 **joshed** our leading contender of the dreaded UST is Hansol and Seungkwan, who look at eachother's backsides more than their faces; than we have Junhui and Minghao, who are too awkward to admit that they feel more than normal bestfriends do; and than (of course) the meanie couple, Wonwoo and Mingyu, who on the daily switch from being basically married to being awkward strangers. Please donate money to Hong Jisoo and Yoon Jeonghan so we can resolve these potential couple's terrible fate..

 **dino-saur** oh

 **HOSH** IM AKGHING SI HARD LITERALLY EVERYONE JUST RAN IN SIFFRENT DIRECTIONS 

 **dkcountryreturns** frckd EXPOSDE

 **woozi** jisoo hyung i feel like you've been waiting to let that out

 **dad** That was typed out so fast, wow. 

 **mother** i can smell the drama that will come out of this gc i am SO ready

 **visual** lETS conTINUE

 **visual** okay I Am KIM MINGYU I AM 20 YEARS OLD AND I aM THE VISUAL oF evERYONE

 **dino-saur** it's true

 **tallbeagle** ooh you should see the visual of our friendgroup!

 **mother** sanha dear are you referencing me bc I have headshots ready

 **tallbeagle** nope! i'm talking about cha eunwoo!!

 **minhoe** cha eunwoo?/!?!?1 like /the/ cha eunwoo??????

 **tallbeagle**  [[image]](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwiF4I7QrJbUAhWqBcAKHTNYB8kQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fastromembersnet.tumblr.com%2Feunwoo&psig=AFQjCNFdXornn-WSSmLK70oBGHB_YgpBxw&ust=1496190080577291) this guy?

 **woozi** holy shit

 **minhoe** i CAN'T brAETE

 **dino-saur** i told you they'd react this way sanha! our whole friendgroup bonds over a similar bond of adoring cha eunwoo

 **dad** jiHOONIE AND I HAVE EVERYSINGLE OF HIS MOVIES

 **angelface** jisOO BABE pinCH ME

 **joshed** jEonGHAn 

 **visual** welp

 

_visual changed username to memegyu_

 

 **puppycat** oh me oh my

 **father** should we tell them

 **dino-saur** just wait a bit hyung! have him say it when it's time to introduce y'all!

 **dino-saur** minghao you're next!!

 **minghoe** WOO sorry I had to calm myself down I can't believe you guys are friends with cha eunwoo 

 **goodgemini** ahem

 **minghoe** ANYWAY im  xu minghao!! i'm chinese! i'm 19! i like to dance!

 **therock** da n ce

 **angelface** okay!! three more of us!! let's go!! kwannie you're next!!

 **hitthekwan** finaALLY heLLo! i am boo(yonce) seungkwan!! i am fabulous and 19 years old and i need love!! support me!! I can sing!! also I am from Jeju ;)

 **HOSH** we love you seungkwan 1!!!!1!1 <33

 **hitthekwan** nAEGA HOSH i jUST ChOKD up I LOV EYOU ToOO

 **verdone** ahem,,, hello am vernon aka choi hansol 19 years young i like to rap and drake v nice to meet you

 **mother** ,,, did ,,, 

 **woozi** you just say ,,,,,

 **whatwoo** "19 years young" 

 **therock** ??????!!!!!

 **minghoe** i think i just vommed a little

 **tallbeagle** yikes

 **dino-saur** HANSOL YOU JUST HAD YOON SANHA,, PUREST OF ALL PURES,, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUL ON THIS EARTH,, 'YIKES' YOU HOLY SHIT

 **dad** Language channie.

 **dino-saur** sorry dad

 **verdone** WHAT WRONG WITH 19 YEARS YOUNG 

 **joshed** oh god please help this child

 **dkcountryreturn** EVEN JISOOS CHRIST IS PRAYING 4 U VERNON

 **dino-saur** A N Y W A Y 

 **dino-saur** hello!! I am dino aka lee chan!! i am 18 years old and i love dancing and Michael Jackson!! 

 **angelface** isn't he adorable

 **woozi** if anyone hurts this child you will regret ever being born

 **puppycat** wasn't planning on it! :D

 **tallbeagle** is it our turn?? nice to meet you all by the way!!

 **dad** You guys go ahead!

 **father** they amazingly did that in age order so MJ hyung you should start

 **mother** ah~ ok,, hello i am mj aka kim myungjun!! i am 23 years old and i love iron man and singing!

 **dad** So you are everyone's elder?

 **mother** ahhhshh i supposed so but don't say it outloud lolol

 **dino-saur** it's okay mj hyung!! it means you are wiser and more mature than all of us! a true mother!!

 **mother** thank you chan-ah~~

 **therock** hhmm i wouldn't say that

 **mother** park minhyuk

 **therock** SOR r Y hYUNG

 **father** hey i am jinjin aka park jinwoo,, i am 21 yrs old and i like rapping and g-dragon also i am dating MJ

 **memegyu** awh we have an actual mother and father couple in the gc instead the awkward dad figure and mom figure who probably used to date but then found other ppl and kept the concepts with their new significant others but it's still a little awkward when the family concept comes up and the author has too many ships and feels bad to have the broken parents but their larger ships must reign on

 **whatwoo** what

 **memegyu** what?

 **dad** Um.

 **joshed** a n YWA AY

 **puppycat** um! i don't know where minnie is? he may still be working so i'll go!!

 **father** just go ahead we'll introduce him later

 **puppycat** hello! i am moon bin! i am 19 years old, i like to dance and i model and sing as a hobby!

 **angelface** who do you model for?

 **puppycat** um you may know the company, ASTRO entertainment? They do all kinds of stuff for singers, rappers, actors, models and stuff... that's where our whole friend group met!

 **goodgemini** holy shit

 **minghoe** you guys work at ASTRO?!?!? hO MY GS

 **whatwoo** wait,,

 **whatwoo** is this [[image]](https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi_8ePSuZbUAhXDJ8AKHRUpAboQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Faminoapps.com%2Fweb%2Fx16%2Fblog%2Fc6c523ef-65f4-432f-9134-17f623fc9c6e&psig=AFQjCNHO6QWWNY5ZKIo_CPmpn9--Ghw_iQ&ust=1496193569810305) you??

 **puppycat** oh yeah hahaha that's me

 **memegyu** AHHHH

 **minhoe** AHHH

 **verdone** AHHHH

 **joshed** AHHHH

 **dino-saur** hehe

 **angelface** CHANNIE BBY YOU DIDN'T TELL US THAT YOU WERE ADDING BIN,, FAMOUS MODEL aND VOCALIST,, TO OUR GC

 **dino-saur** oops! must've slipped my mind! rocky you're next!

 **HOSH** astro ent,,, rocky,,,, hmm,,,,

 **therock** hello! i am park minhyuk also known as rocky!! i like dancing and martial arts and rapping!

 **HOSH** GASP

 **HOSH** YOU'RE /ROCKY/ duDe I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOUR DANCE COVERS SINCE YOU STARTED POSTING THEM

 **minghoe** do yOU HEAR ME CryiNF

 **therock** iM BLushIFN

 **hitthekwan** wait,,, if you guys are bin and rocky,,,

 **verdone** ,,, than mj and jinwoo,,,,

 **hitthekwan** arE MJ AND JINJIN THE DUET COUPLE

 **verdone** JINJIN YOU ARE THER EASON I SATRTED RAPPING

 **hitthekwan** MJ HYUNG YOU'RE VOICE IS HEAVEN IN SOUND

 **HOSH** CHAN AH HOW DID YOU END UP PUTTNG EVERYONE FROM ASTRO WHO IS SUCCESSFUL IN THIS CHAT

 **dino-saur** hehe it was sanha's idea 

 **tallbeagle** heh that's me!! I'm yoon sanha, 17 years old!! i play guitar and sing and i'm really flexible?!? i also like eating so thank god i have minhyuk who can cook! we are dating btw!!

 **tallbeagle** heehee i can't even type that without blushing

 **therock** *slams book on desk* adorable

 **dkcountryreturns** SANHA I HAVE A WHOLE PLAYLIST OF YOUR GUITAR COVERS

 **angelface** SANHA YOUR VOCALS ARE THE REASON I LIVE

 **angelface** and you're so young too!! 

 **dino-saur** guys we did it!! everyone is now introduced!!

 **woozi** it's been a fuciing hour holys hti

 **dad** It's actually getting kind of late, we should head to bed. Especially our new friends, who schedules must be demanding if they're working at somewhere like ASTRO.

 **father** that's probably a good idea, say bye for now guys

 **mother** byee~~

 **tallbeagle** bye guys!

 **joshed** i'll say bye for our group lol, everyone is already asleep,,,, talk to you guys in the mornig!

 

 

~~~

 

 **chachawoo** oh no :( i slept through everything,,, welp for when everyone wakes up-- i'm lee dongmin or cha eunwoo~ nice to meet you!!

 

**~~**

 

 **minhoe** imSCEAEINF CHa eunWOo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. more mingling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> astro couple ship wars, disney songs, and verkwan ensue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first time i've posted something multi chaptered on ao3 ahaha yee
> 
> anyway the little ~ symbols in between convos means time has past! rn time isn't a huge concept and doesn't really matter so just know time had past and the boys are more friendly and familiar with each other!
> 
> also it is so hard to include 19 people so i'm sorry if this is all over the place! definitely lmk if something should be fixed!
> 
> ALSO ASTRO'S SHOWCHAMPION COMEBACK STAGE FOR BABY WAS AMAZINF AND I'M STILL SHOOK ALSO ALL OF AI1 IS AMAZING WTF I LOVE MY BOIS

**HOSH** goOD MoRNIG my FriENDS

 **dkcountryreturns** GOOD MORNING MY LOVE <333

 **tallbeagle** gm !!! how did u all sleep??

 **minghoe** wHAT IS SLEEP 

 **minghoe** I DID NOTCLOSE MY EYES ONCE LAST NIGHT

 **joshed** hao r u okay?

 **minghoe** I REWATCHED ALL OF CHA EUNWOOS FILMS AND DRAMAS 

 **minghoe** EVERY ONE

 **father** there are like 8 dramas and like 15 movies??? is that possible????

 **puppycat** did i hear eunwoo

 **therock** dongmin was up late last night :(( 

 **puppycat** well he did sleep all day yesterday, of course he'd be awake through te night

 **verdone** who's dongmin again? i 4get

 **chachawoo** lol me!

 **verdone** oh

 **verdone** /oh/

 **verdone** OH

 **minghoe** CHA EUNWOO 

 **minghoe** AHHHHHHH

 **dad** AHHHHHH.

 **angelface** AHHHHHH

 **dino-saur** (sorry dongmin hyung) AHHHHHHH

 **whatwoo** AHHHH

 **HOSH** AHHHHHHH

 **dkcountryreturns** AHHHHAH

 **hitthekwan** AHHHHHHH

 **memegyu** AHHHHHH

 **goodgemini** AHHHHH 

 **joshed** AHHHHHHH

 **woozi** ,,,,,

 **woozi** ahh

 **mother** tbh same jihoon

 **chachawoo** hehe hello everyone, it's very nice to meet you

 **woozi** i think everyone in this household is blushing

 **dad** Don't even try to lie Jihoon, your face is probably the rosiest of all of ours. (It's adorable).

 **puppycat** hi minnie <3333

 **chachawoo** morning binnie <33333

 **minghoe** GDO NO oF courSE HE'S TAKEN

 **goodgemini** um excuse me

 **minghoe** whY am I liiKE thE ONLY SINGLE ONE hERE

 **goodgemini** um /excuse me/

 **minghoe** whY are all the attractive ones gAY

 **memegyu** gdi minghao you're GAY

 **minghoe** THATS NOT THE POINT

 **joshed** i am also the gay 

 **angelface** well i'd certainly hope so !

 **dkcountryreturns** did i hear gay

 **whatwoo** is anyone in this chat straight

 **chachawoo** welp i'm not 

 **puppycat** me neither 

 **minghoe** :,)

 **tallbeagle** no one in the astro group!!

 **tallbeagle**[[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/82/a9/55/82a955d236f2403865ff7f0a6d32e9a4.jpg) here is bin and dongmin!!

 **minghoe** ok u know what

 **minghoe** i actually ship it so hard 

 **minhoe** y'all are the cutest couple i've ever seen ?????

 **hitthekwan** POWER COUPLE 

 **chachawoo** bin is blushing so hard rn i'm so weak

 **dad** Hearing Cha Eunwoo say that makes me feel warm inside.

 **chachawoo** hehe pls call me dongmin guys !! i feel like we are going to be v close so pls don't feel the need to call me eunwoo!

 **goodgemini** haohao is having trouble breathing rn i think we need a doctor

 **minghoe** i'm FINE but anyway okay dongmin :D

 **puppycat**[[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/2c/c0/3a/2cc03a9337a218a2b7ab7e3f587f136e.jpg) here's socky

 **therock** MOON BIN DO U WANT TO DIE ATLEAST SEND A BETTER PIC

 **verdone** nice butt @ sanha 

 **tallbeagle** hehe thank

 **hitthekwan** _excuse me_

 **therock**   _i don't think so pal_

 **memegyu** how did u italicise that we can't do that on this app?!?!

 **angelface** ah the power of jealous lovers

 **joshed** i'm thoroughly impressed

 **chachawoo**[[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b9/ee/d3/b9eed3a09b7a7f721b2073dcd764bf39.jpg?noindex=1) here minhyuk is this is better

 **therock** ye s

 **HOSH** awhhhhhhhh

 **woozi** aw

 **memegyu** u know it's cute when jihoon says aw

 **dad** Wow. Jihoon approves. Impressive.

 **woozi** u know what cheol fuck u and ur perfect texting grammar i can think things r cute ok

 **dino-saur** mommy daddy other mom and dad are fighting what do we do

 **joshed** it's okay chan this happens all the time

 **angelface** it's okay channie~~ mommy is here

 **angelface** just ignore them, this just shows that they aren't the /real/ parents here xx

 **woozi** ok jeonghan do u wanna fight me 

 **mother** ANYWAY DO YOU WANNA SEE ME AND JINWOO

 **mother** WE ARE A COUPLE TOO AND I WANNA SHOW US OFF SO HERE U GO 

 **mother**[image] [[image]](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQxI3D28WCCkv-3gIxL688hhZGNq7K7D7iabG4cyLC8m4rJJrVk2Q) [[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ff/f2/00/fff20081d6800424c34a344a73ff9c6a.jpg) [[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4c/32/51/4c32518fee71ea4da878d6738045ce3b.jpg)

 **father** myungjun pls

 **dkcountryreturns** idc what y'all think but myungjin is best astro couple end of story.

 **woozi** fuck u socky is the best

 **minghoe** ~binwoo~

 **angelface** ,,you can't beat the parent couple,,

 **dkcountryreturns** THANK YOU MOMMY

 **angelface** you are welcome child

 **whatwoo** binwoo

 **memegyu** whoops guess who's also binwoo

 **puppycat** heh um guys you don't have to fight over our relationships lolol

 **hitthekwan** MYUNGJIN DOMINATES 

 **HOSH** EXCUSE SOCKY IS THE BEST COUPLE EVER TO WALK THIS EARTH DONT PLAY

 **dkcountryreturns** gasp

 **HOSH** sorry bby i can't betray my ships

 **therock** socky

 **mother** minhyuk stay out of this honey this isn't your fight

 **mother** but,, everyone know's where my loyalty lies 

 **mother** coughbinwoocough 

 **dad**  I personally relate most to Myungjin. 

 **woozi** guess who's sleeping on the couch tonight! :)

 **woozi** i'll give you a hint- it's not me :)

 **dad** I suddenly ship Socky.

 **woozi** thought so

 

~

 

 **HOSH** why does everybody hate milk?? its so good for u and tastes good

 **verdone** ew 

 **therock** i only have milk in my cereal

 **dino-saur** maybe that's why you're so short!!

 **therock** diNO WTF I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

 **tallbeagle** i drink a glass of milk everyday!!

 **dino-saur** and that's why you're tall and strong!!

 **mother** ah yes my bby sanha is so strong and healthy~~

 **memegyu** i'm 185 cm and i haven't drank milk since i was like 15

 **woozi** fuck u mingyu i've drank milk every day since i was 15 and i'm still 164 cm do u wanna die

 **puppycat** mj hyung dongmin and I are both almost the same height as sanha and we drink milk why aren't you praising us

 **mother** sanha is 17 and still growing while taking care of himself as a teen did /you/ do that bin?

 **chachawoo** he didn't

 **puppycat** min :(((

 **chachawoo** sorry bby can't lie to mother he knows best

 **whatwoo** motheerrrr knows best

 **memegyu** wonwoo don't do it

 **whatwoo** mother knows best listen to your mother it's a scary world out there

 **joshed** TANGLED

 **memegyu** y'all im so sorry i thought we got his disney fetish under control

 **whatwoo** it's not a fetISH

 **HOSH** AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT

 **dkcountryreturns** AND ITS LIKE THE FOG HAS LIFTED 

 **HOSH** AND AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT

 **dkcountryreturns** AND ITS LIKE THE SKY IS NEWWW

 **tallbeagle** hhm i like frozen 

 **memegyu** LET IT GOOOO

 **whatwoo** who has the disney fetish now u asswipe

 **memegyu** <3 LET IT GOOO

 **father** CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMOREEEE

 **tallbeagle** do u guys know hercules? that's my favorite uwu

 **joshed** ILL BE THERE SOMEDAY I CAN GO THE DISTANCE I WILL FIND MY WAY IF I CAN BE STRONG I KNOW EVERY MILE WILL BE WORTH MY WHILEEEEEE 

 **angelface** WHEN I GO THE DISTANCE ILL BE RIGHT WHERE I BELONG

 **mother** BLESS MY SOUL HERC WAS ON A ROLL PERSON OF THE WEEK IN EVERY GREEK OPINION POLL

 **whatwoo** WHAT A PRO HERC COULD STOP A SHOW POINT HIM TO A MONSTER AND YOURE TALKING S R O

 **dino-saur** HE WAS A NO ONE

 **tallbeagle** A ZERO ZERO

 **minghoe** NOW HE'S A HONCHO 

 **goodgemini** HES A HERO

 **verdone** NO CHANCE NO WAY I WONT SAY IT NO NO

 **HOSH** YOU SWOON 

 **dkcountryreturns** YOU SIGH 

 **memegyu** DONT DENY IT UH OH

 **verdone** ITS TOO CLICHE I WON'T SAY IM IN LOOVE

 **hitthekwan** NO CHANCE NO WAY I WONT SAY IT NO NO

 **woozi** GIVE UP GIVE IN

 **dad** CHECK THE GRIN YOU'RE IN LOVE

 **hitthekwan** THE SCENE WONT PLAY I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE

 **puppycat** YOURE DOIN FLIPS

 **chachawoo** READ OUR LIPS 

 **dino-saur** YOURE IN LOVE

 **verdone** um

 **hitthekwan** suddenly i have a thing at the thing again ha ha ha silly thing ahahabye

 **therock** okay i feel this has gotten too real

 **dad** That played out perfectly...

 **memegyu** i can feel the awkwardness rolling from hansol next door someone pls help

 **joshed** hannie we must go comfort our child

 **angelface** of course~~ let's hope he's not mad at us for being his muses ;)

 **dad** Jihoon

 **woozi** yes seuncheol

 **dad** We should go find and consol Seungkwan as well. Maybe we can help to overcome the awkwardness between him and Sol.

 **woozi** ok i'll meet you at his door

 **woozi** if it's locked i'm kicking the door down

 **dad** Couldn't we just knock?

 **woozi** no.

 **dino-saur** does this mean one case of UST will be solved soon?

 **chachawoo** from the looks of it,,, probably!

 **HOSH** whoop whoop

 **tallbeagle** i'm glad that everyone in astro is together and happy,, UST seems scary :3

 **father** sanha u and minhyuk had the most obvious UST i've ever had the misfortune of witnessing

 **mother** dear god that was the worst 6 months of my life

 **puppycat** dongmin and i had to literally kidnap the two of you and lock you in the studio so you could resolve the awkwardness

 **dino-saur** oh i remember that !

 **memegyu** chan how do you remember that

 **dino-saur** i've been friends with sanha since elementary school! that's how i knew everyone lol i've known them for years

 **minghoe** YOU'VE KNOWN ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE FROM ASTRO ENT FOR YEARS AND YOU'VE NEVER INTRODUCED US!?!?!

 **dino-saur** oops

 **angelface** bin and dongmin you've inspired us

 **woozi** verkwan are currently locked in the basement

 **dad** We've decided to keep them in their until they sort it out

 **angelface** jisoo's eavesdropping atm 

 **joshed** GUYS

 **joshed** I HEAR SOMETHING

 **joshed** wait

 **dkcountryreturns** what?

 **joshed** EW ABORT ABORT

 **woozi** yuck yuck yuck

 **angelface** DO WE LEAVE THEM? WHAT DO WE DO?

 **mother** waht is happeing

 **tallbeagle** do i need to call the police?

 **tallbeagle** or the ghostbusters?

 **dad** Um. Hansol and Seungkwan have gotten over their thing. 

 **joshed** THEY'VE DONE MORE THAN JUST GET OVER IT

 **joshed** I NEVER WANT TO HEAR KWANNIE'S VOICE AGAIN

 **angelface** I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO CLEAN MYSELF

 **woozi** save us

 **chachawoo** oh yeah we forgot to tell you this was the result of the operation

 **puppycat** um make sure you let them out before they do something,,,,,, unsanitary

 **joshed** AHHHHHHHHH

 **angelface** SHUA CHEOL HOON WE GOTTA GO BACK BEFORE OUR CHILDREN LOSE THEIR INNOCENCE 

 **dad** GO GO GO!

 **father** it's been 15 minutes

 **whatwoo** are they ok

 **HOSH** i do not want to think of the stuff that may have happened in the past minutes

 **verdone** GUYS

 **therock** *cat call whistles*

 **goodgemini** sup sol what've u been up to

 **minghoe** where's seungkwan

 **verdone** spEAKIN G ON SEUNDGWAM

 **memegyu** seundgwam? who's she? sounds spicy

 **hitthekwan** mingyu shut ur fuck

 **memegyu** what if my fuck doesn't wanna be shut

 **whatwoo** mingyu stop

 **verdone** ya mingyu leave my BOYFRIEND alone

 **verdone** guys it's been 5 minutes

 **verdone** this is the part where you're supposed to be really surprised and happy for us

 **dad** Ah. Congrats guys.

 **joshed** WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! YOU TWO?!

 **woozi** YA IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU GUYS MOAN FOR 20 MINUTES

 **HOSH** I NEVER WOULD'VE GUESSED IT

 **dkcountryreturns** VERKWAN LIVES

 **tallbeagle** YAYYYY :33 SO HAPPY FOR U

 **puppycat** how was the basement

 **memegyu** i bet it really set the mood

 **whatwoo** congratulations.

 **angelface** *sniffles* my babies,,, all grown up,,, 

 **mother** *hands tissue* it's okay,,, it's beautiful moment,,,, you should be proud,,,

 **chachawoo** congrats guys! i hope you treat each other well! <3

 **hitthekwan** I JUST FAINTED THANK YUO CHA EUNWOO I FEEL SO BLESSED

 **verdone** KWANNIE OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS JUST BEEN CHRISTENED BY CHA EUNWOO 

 **hitthekwan** I LOVE YOU

 **verdone** I LOVE YOU TOO 

 **dino-saur** awh what a nice ending

 **minghoe** there is no end.

 **joshed** hhm,,, JUNHAO NEXT

 **goodgemini** joshua pls

 

~

 

 **joshed** THERES HYDROGEN THEN HELIUM THEN LITHIUM BERYLLIUM BORON CARBON EVERYWHERE NITROGEN ALL THROUGH THE AIR OXYGEN SO U CAN BREATHE AND  FLORINE FOR YOUR PRETTY TEETH NEON TO LIGHT UP THE SIGNS SODIUM FOR SALTY TIMES MAGNESIUM ALUMINUM SILICON PHOSPHORUS THEN SULFUR CHLORINE AND ARGON POTASSIUM AND CALCIUM SO YOULL GROW STRONG SCANDIUM TITANIUM VANADIUM AND CHROMIUM AND MANGANESE THIS IS THE PERIODIC TABLE NOBLE GAS IS STABLE HALOGENS AND ALKALI REACT AGGRESSIVELY EACH PERIOD WE'LL SEE BEE OUTER SHELLS WHILE ELECTRONS ARE ADDED MOVING TO THE RIGHT IRON IS THE 26TH THEN COBALT NICKEL COINS YOU GET COPPER SINC AND GALLIUM GERMANIUM AND ARSENIC SELENIUM AND BROMINE FILM WHILE KRYPTON HELPS LIGHT UP YOUR ROOM RUBIDIUM AND STRONTIUM THEN YTTRIUM ZIRCONIUM NIOBIUM MOLYBDENUM TECHNETIUM RUTHENIUM RHODIUM PALLADIUM SILVERWARE THEN CADMIUM AND INDIUM TIN CAN ANTIMONY THEN TELLURIUM AND IODINE AND XENON AND THEN CAESIUM AND BARIUM IS 56 AND THIS IS WHERE THE TABLE SPLITS WHERE LANTHANIDES HAVE JUST BEGUN LANTHANUM CERIUM AND PRASEODYMIUM NEODYMIUM IS NEXT TO PROMETHIUM THEN 62 SAMARIUM EUROPIUM GADOLINIUM AND TERBIUM DYSPROSIUM HOLMIUM ERBIUM THULIUM YTTERBIUM LUTETIUM HAFNIUM TANTALUM TUNGSTEN THEN WE'RE ONTO RHENIUM OSMIUM AND IRIDIUM PLATINUM GOLD TO MAKE YOU RICH TILL YOU GROW OLD MERCURY TO TELL YOU WHEN ITS REALLY COLD THALLIUM AND LEAD THEN BISMUTH FOR YOUR TUMMY POLONIUM ASTATINE WOULD NOT BE YUMMY RADON FRANCIUM WILL LAST A LITTLE TIME RADIUM THEN ACIDINES AT 89 THIS IS THE PERIODIC TABLE NOBLE GAS IS STABLE HALOGENS AND ALKALI REACT AGGRESSIVELY EACH PERIOD WE'LL SEE NEW OUTER SHELLS WHILE ELECTRONS ARE TO THE RIGHT ACTINIUM THORIUM PROTACTINIUM URANIUM NEPTUNIUM PLUTONIUM AMERICIUM CURIUM BERKELIUM CALIFORNIUM EINSTEINIUM FERMIUM MENDELEVIUM NOBELIUM LAWRENCIUM RUTHERFORDIUM DUBNIUM SEABORGIUM BOHRIUM HASSIUM MEITNERIUM DARMSTADTIUM ROENTGENIUM COPERNICIUM UNUNTRIUM FLEROVIUM UNUNPENTIUM LIVERMORIUM UNUNSEPTIUM UNUNOCTIUM AND THEN WE'RE DONE

 **angelface**  joshua baby why

 **memegyu**  what is the point 

 **father**  i love that song

 **whatwoo**  too many big words

 **joshed**  get Educated punks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. #exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exposing time >:) and kyla massie protection squad and DON'T UNDERAGE DRINK KIDS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAN PRISTIN PROTECT KYLA MASSIE
> 
> also i was inspired by this video: https://www.instagram.com/p/BU4KFazD9SE/ bc my trash ass spotted SVT x ASTRO interactions in the background even tho it really twice and day6 oops anyway thx music bank
> 
> and this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgb2eO1LIWA i can't believe i missed this ISAC video but i've been truly blessed also im still shook from both of their aerobics performances i will Never Recover
> 
> also tw for slight underaged drinking? it won't happen again in the fic (maybe) but please if u live in the US and are under 21 DON'T DRINK and if u live in Europe or Asia or anywhere where the age is 18 STILL DON'T DRINK IF YOU ARE UNDER THE LEGAL DRINKING AGE ty stay safe <33

**therock** LISTEN HERE LOSERS 

 **therock** IM DONE

 **memegyu** ru ok

 **therock** nO

 **puppycat** hyuk calm tf down

 **therock** NO

 **therock** EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW

 **therock** I CAN'T HIDE THIS ANYMORE

 **verdone** wjat is happng

 **mother** minhyuk don't do it

 **chachawoo** minhyuk please

 **dino-saur** is this what i think it is!?

 **therock** CHA EUNWOO

 **minghoe** uwu what's this?

 **therock** IS A MINION FUCKER 

 **goodgemini** gasp

 **hitthekwan** oh god not minions

 **puppycat** rcoky why

 **chachawoo** okAY to clarify i am not a minion "fucker"

 **chachawoo** i just like them and think they're cute

 **chachawoo** it's just like u pusheen

 **minghoe** i feel so conflicted right now

 **HOSH** yikEs minions

 **dkcountryreturns** minion aren't that bad? like they're kinda cute?

 **chachawoo** tHANK YOU seokmin

 **HOSH** who is lee seokmin anyway never heard of her

 **dkcountryreturns** sOONYOUNG plS

 **therock** don't you DARE compare pusheen to MINIONS

 **memegyu** "i love minion yaoi,,, and if you don't like that,,, then unfollow me"

 **joshed** im sOBBifn 

 **whatwoo** where did that vine go 

 **father** im not even kidding i think it's been removed from every social media site

 **memegyu** srsly the author took live 2 hours to find the vine and it was in a fucking twaimz video like what

 **woozi** what 

 **memegyu** what?

 **dad** Anyway.

 **dad** Minhyuk, what did Dongmin do to you for you to result to this.

 **therock** ,,,,

 **therock** he ate the last piece of cheesecake even when he told me he wouldn't

 **chachawoo** because i DIDN'T

 **tallbeagle** oh the cheesecake?? that was me lol!! it was really yummy~~

 **angelface** oH HABSASH DONGMIN BABE I'MSO SORYR

 **goodgemini** imSFUCKIF

 **mother** OSHDoSD

 **dino-saur** oh how the turns have tabled

 **dad** isn't it oh how the tables have turned?

 **woozi** cheol just appreciate the child's meme

 **chachawoo** >:(

 **puppycat** i cANt BLIevE

 **tallbeagle** wait what's happening? Was there something special about the cake?

 **therock** nothing,,, it's all good babe,,,, i'm gonna just go ok

 **puppycat** THERE'S A SINGLE TEAR RUNNING DOWN MINHYUK'S FACE IM SHTING

 **tallbeagle** i'm so confused D:

 **joshed** it's okay sanha

 **mother** shush child it's okay

 **angelface** don't worry about it :)

 **tallbeagle** :D

 

 

~

 

 

 **verdone** guYS WE NEED TO BAND TOGETGER

 **verdone** I AMSO ANGRY RN

 **hitthekwan** why?? :(

 **angelface** i heRAD ABOUT THIS D:<

 **mother** what do we need to do?

 **father** who do we need to kill

 **verdone** everyone on social media >:(

 **verdone** so basically this girl- kyla massie debuted with PRISTIN earlier this year 

 **chachawoo** ahh i love pristin!! i'm actually close with eunwoo lol

 **minhoe** gasp i know what ur talking about hansol

 **tallbeagle** we at astro are big fans of pristin! what's wrong?

 **verdone** so kyla is basically my little sister and i love her to death,, she's close with sofia

 **verdone** she's 15 and the maknae of the girls and she is getting so much hate rn i'm gonna scream 

 **hitthekwan** idk if u guys have seen but there are a shit ton of people fat-shaming her and hating her bc she weighs more than the other girls and is a HEALTHY weight,,

 **verdone** she's only 15 >:((((

 **therock** *rolls up sleeves* oh hELL NO

 **whatwoo** nayoung and the other girls are pissed iheard

 **memegyu** how do u know

 **whatwoo** i'm cousins w jungkook rmemebr,, i know lots of idols through him

 **minghoe**!!?@!?!?

 **puppycat**! >!.1//!?!?!?

 **dad** You can fan-boy later, let's think of ideas for ways to try to stop them harassing Kyla.

 **joshed** we all have lots of social media influence yeah? let's just use that to boost awareness and bring out supporters

 **angelface** good idea babe i knew accepting ur confession would lead to something good!

 **joshed** u confessed to me,,

 **angelface** ANYWAY i'll start tweeting now!!!!!!

 **chachawoo** a lot of my fans are big fans of music, especially since we're part of astro ent, so we can definitely get ppl to stop harassing her

 **HOSH** i'll post a rant of my youtube

 **joshed** eunwoo or jinjin- can u retweet a tweet of my talking about it in english? So intl fans can know as well

 **dkcountryreturns** rt hansol's too 

 **hitthekwan** kyla is from the US so if we can let her home country know they will take big acton

 **woozi** tru international fans are crazy

 **mother** we all will!!

 **verdone** THANK U GUYS IM CRYING 

 

_**dino-saur changed chatroom name to ' kyla massie protection squad 2k17 '** _

 

 **dino-saur** whoop whoop protect little sisters

 

 

~

 

 

 **dkcountryreturns** g uys we should all meet up

 **dkcountryreturns** OT19 interactions u know

 **tallbeagle** ya!! chan and i hang out all the time!

 **minghoe** still jealous

 **therock** u guys can probably come to our dorm

 **puppycat** it's pretty big for only 6 people

 **chachawoo** we have a big living room so we can all chill and eat snacks

 **HOSH** PLEASE

 **tallbeagle** lemme just ask

 **tallbeagle** mom dad

 **father** yes sanha

 **mother** yes child?

 **tallbeagle** can we have seventeen over?

 **father** seventeen?

 **therock** they call themselves seventeen, so we just call them seventeen idk

 **father** oh 

 **mother** why not

 **puppycat** yayy!!

 **memegyu** i wanna see ur dorm

 **hitthekwan** yayy

 **minghoe** yayy

 **goodgemini** yayy

 **verdone** yayy

 **dkcountryreturns** yayy

 **HOSH** yayy

 **whatwoo** yayy

 **dino-saur** yayy

 **dino-saur** i need to ask the parents

 **angelface** I AM HERE MY CHILD AND I SAY YES AND SO DOES JISOO

 **joshed** yes

 **joshed** oh hannie already said it but i think if we can clean up quickly we can go over

 **woozi** my opinion doesn't matter but i wanna see if myungjun and jinwoo are actually taller than me so i'll go

 **hitthekwan** dad we just need u 

 **dad** Sure.

 **dino-saur** YAYYY

 **mother** jihoon i'm so sure i'm taller than you

 **father** we may be short but at least we are over 5'8

 **woozi** i change my mind 

 **dad** Too late.

 **woozi** fuck

 **chachawoo** WELP i'll go buy snacks

 **puppycat** i'll come!!

 **therock** me too!

 **puppycat** nope

 **chachawoo** haha no 

 **memegyu** ouch 

 **tallbeagle** hyukkie come here we should clean the house a bit!!

 **therock** coMIGN

 **father** Whipped

 **joshed** jeonghan we should bring snacks or wine or something

 **angelface** aren't we budgeting?

 **joshed** Jeonghan we should bring them snacks and wine and be Good Guests or you're sleeping outside tonight! :)

 **angelface** WE ARE GOING TO THE CORNER STORE WE'LL BRB TO PICK U GUYS UP BE READY IN 15 MINUTES LOVE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY YOU HONG JISOO

 **joshed** :)

 

 

~

 

 

 **dino-saur** we're here!!

 **HOSH** why do i see strobe lights

 

 

~

 

 

 **angelface** jisoo,,

 **joshed** yes han

 **angelface** where is the champagne we brought?

 **mother** ooh u brought champagne? 

 **puppycat** ooh champagne?

 **father** not for u mister

 **puppycat** i'm of legal age?

 **mother** mhhm u barely are 19 and we have minors here so i'm not risking it

 **mother** we are going to become american tonight so therefore if u are under 21 no champagne for u

 **puppycat** :(

 **chachawoo** :(

 **HOSH** :(

 **woozi** cheol

 **dad** Even you Jihoon.

 **woozi** cheol

 **dad** Jihoon baby please, it's only fair.

 **woozi** fine but u owe me

 **dad** Of course. <3

 **angelface** that is if we can find the champagne bottle,,

 **joshed** it's gotta be here somehwere!?

 **goodgemini** hao and i have been in the living room talking with bin and dongmin for the past 30 min. so,,

 **whatwoo** if mingyu or i had taken it you'd know bc he'd be vomiting and i'd be crying

 **mother** and that's why we're doin g the 21 rule

 **woozi** seungcheol and I have been with jisoo and jeonghan

 **dkcountryreturns** um hah soonyoung and i are at the grocery store down the street

 **dad** Why?

 **HOSH** i wanted hot cheetos,,,

 **HOSH** u guys want anything?

 **joshed** /MY CHAMPAGNE/

 **angelface** wait,,,

 **angelface** we haven't heard anything from the maknaes,,,

 **father** oh no

 **mother** /OH NO/

 **memegyu** one min i'm getting snapchat out this is going to be priceless

 **whatwoo** mingyu pls

 

 

~

 

 

 **mother** I CAN'T BELIEVE MY ANGEL,,, YOON SANHA,,,, WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS,,,

 **therock** hyung it's just champange we have it at weddings all the time

 **mother** I KNEW ROCKY WAS A BAD INFLUENCE ON HIM

 **angelface** MY THREE CHILDREN

 **angelface** YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS

 **joshed** vernon

 **joshed** i know it was you who stole the bottle in the first place

 **verdone** whWt hOW

 **joshed** first of all neither of the astro boys would EVER 

 **joshed** neither would dino bc he is a pure soul

 **joshed** seungkwan is a terrible liar so we'd know by know if it was him

 **memegyu** i cANT bLEIVE YOU GUYS DRANK A WHOLE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE

 **whatwoo** atleast they diluted it with apple juice

 **HOSH** sdjsAH APPLE JUICE

 **goodgemini** i can't believe sanha and dino are knocked out

 **chachawoo** welp i think it's time to get sanha and rocky into bed before they vomit all over our guests

 **puppycat** IM NEVER LETTING MINHYUK LIVE THIS DOWN

 **puppycat** DID YOU SEE HIM LICK SANHA

 **minghoe** eww wtf

 **goodgemini** don't shame him hao it's not like u haven't done it

 **minghoe** what

 **goodgemini** what

 **woozi** SOMEBODY SEPERATE VERKWAN NOW PLS

 **woozi** I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A BAD PORNO

 **dad** Well thank you for inviting us over, even though it ended up... interesting.

 **mother** honestly i think you should come over again!

 **mother** after sanha and rocky are ungrounded, of course :)

 **therock** hyUNg 

 **therock** mOM

 **therock** eOMMA

 **hitthekwan** ewhrha they get grounded hebehe

 **verdone** wkhe groundeded

 **joshed** :)

 **dad** :)

 **angelface** myungjun, how long are socky grounded for?

 **mother** mmhm a week

 **angelface** well, verkwan will see you guys in 2 weeks? chan will see u in 1 :)

 **verdone** whaths hsDmOM DAD DADCHEOL

 **verdone** JIHOON

 **woozi** leave me out of this u delinquent

 **hitthekwan** whY does chAn get one weekdwc

 **joshed** how much shuold i bet u two pressured him

 **hitthekwan** WeLP sEE yoU gys in two WEKs

 **angelface** thanks again for having us!! <3

 **mother** bye! <3

 **father** good luck

 **chachawoo** haha bye guys

 **puppycat** i love being the middle child

 **minghoe** byE gUYS i LoVE YOU

 **goodgemini** thanks for the food and the acting tips dongmin

 **dkcountryreturns** i like your dorm i'll be back

 **HOSH** haha good luck rocky

 **memegyu** AHhaahs what a great night thanks guys i'm full of blackmain material now :))

 **whatwoo** bye

 

 

~

 

 

 **puppycat** UPDATE: it is a little past 6 am, socky are taking turns vomiting into the the bathtub, turns out the passion fruit scented febreeze works wonders

 **memegyu** how romantic 

 **whatwoo** go back to SLEEP mingyu ur moving around woke me up

 **HOSH** uwu what's this?

 **whatwoo** soonyoung shut up u can make fun of being when it's not SIX A.M. on the WEEKEND 

 **HOSH** ok~~ sleep well you too~~

 

 

 


	4. fidget spinners from hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone hates fidget spinners, concerned dads about their dad not acting like a dad, and junhao gets awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was inspired by my grandmother randomly buying me and my sisters fidget spinners, my annoyance at the TOP scandal, and my sudden urge for couple angst!!!
> 
> this chapter is kind of a mess but i want to update frequently so here's some trash!! 
> 
> also i had to put yixing in there bc i miss him and want him to be with exo rn so i'm projecting :((

**memegyu** guYS MY GRANDMOTHER JUST SENT ME AWHOLE BOX OF FIDGET SPINNERS

**memegyu** I DON'T EVEN LIK E THEM??

**HOSH** EW

**goodgemini** how does ur grandmother even know what a fidget spinner is

**goodgemini** isn't she like 92

**joshed** excuse me we will not talk about f*dget sp*nners in this household

**father** I HAD TO CONFISCATE LIKE 3 F*DGET SP*NNERS FROM SANHAS ROOM LAST WEEK

**mother** i banned them from entering the apartment

**therock** but mj we could sell them and get rich

**mother** hyuk dear we have dongmin to support us

**chachawoo** :)

**mother** why else do you think we keep him around

**chachawoo** :(

**mother** also rocky you and sanha are grounded, remember?! go give ur phone to jinwoo

**therock** :(

**minghoe** how much did u get mingyu

**memegyu** there's like 30 in here?!?!?!

**dkcountryreturns** if u sell each for like 7 dollars you could get over 200 dollars!! :D

**whatwoo** there are plenty of dumb sheeple who will pay even more for them

**whatwoo** sell them for like 12 bucks each

**memegyu** WONWOO MY DEAR WILL YOU COME LOITER OUTSIDE THE HIGHSCHOOL WITH ME SO WE CAN SELL THEM TO LITTLE TEENAGERS

**whatwoo** sounds sketchy

**whatwoo** i'll do it

**angelface** i'm still shook that ur gramma bought u fidget spinners

**woozi** BLEEP IT OUT JEONGHAN

**angelface** sorry jihoonie

**angelface** f*dget sp*nners

**dad** They are an abomination.

**goodgemini** rt

**puppycat** i don't think f*dget sp*nners are /that/ bad?? i mean they are too hyped but they don't do any harm

**chachawoo** bin pls 

**HOSH** THEY ARE TERRIBLE BIN A MISTAKE IS WHAT THEY ARE

**HOSH** EXAMPLES: [[image]](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/c9bd5177-0300-4f35-a96d-e591fbf0cfc0_1.931ae87c2c49fe1cd940dd137de31e9f.jpeg) [[image]](https://img1.etsystatic.com/146/1/6702515/il_570xN.1172326811_jpjv.jpg) 

**goodgemini** is that,,, a weed f*dget sp*nner,,,

**woozi** every day the human race creeps closer to damnation

**puppycat** but did u see bts is america,,

**puppycat** they had f*dget sp*nners

**whatwoo** i'm ashamed to be associated with jeon jungkook rn tbh

**chachawoo** hoSEOK HAD AN AMERICAN FLAG ONE

**chachawoo** I ALMOST DECLINED HIS OFFER TO COLLAB BC OF THAT

**minghoe** ,,,, jung hoseok wants to collab with u ,,,,

**chachawoo** I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT 

**minghoe**!!!!!!

**puppycat** MINNIE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT A MEMBER OF BTS WANTS TO COLLAB W U

**puppycat** IM HURT :(

**chachawoo** sorry binnie :( i really wasn't supposed to tell anyone, it was supposed to be a surprise thing for fans and stuff

**chachawoo** if it makes u feel any better i was going to let you come to the studio w/ me and have you meet him!!

**puppycat** really?!?

**chachawoo** yeah,,

**puppycat** :))))))

**chachawoo** also minhao and the rest of you guys i'll let you come to astro ent. and i'll give u a tour if you promise not to tell a SOUL

**minghoe** u know what that's a deal

**joshed** pLS

**dad** We wouldn't tell either way, right boys?

**HOSH** yes dad

**dkcountryreturns** u got it ;)

**woozi** i have no other friends to tell

**angelface** that's depressing

**memegyu** HEY GUYS I'M BACK

**memegyu** AND 500 BUCKS RICHER

**father** wtf /how/

**mother** didn't u only have like 30 f*dget sp*nners?

**memegyu** WELL U SEE

**memegyu** THE SCHOOL THAT I WANT TO IS FULL WITH PRIVILEGED RICH KIDS

**memegyu** SO THEY PAID FOR LIKE 25 PER SPINNER AND IF THEY WANTED TO BUY MORE THAN ONE THEY'D GIVE ME 50 OR 100 DOLLAR BILLS??

**whatwoo** tbh it was wild these kids were actually throwing their money at mingyu

**angelface** that's good you got paid so much!!

**angelface** because you haven't put in any money towards bills the past few months, so it's time to pay up :)

**joshed** snatched

 

 

~

 

 

**father** I AM SO DONE WITH THE TOP WEED SCANDAL 

**father** LEAVE MY DAD ALONE

**dad** I am so upset, he was expelled from his military division and he is getting a lot of hate. :(.

**woozi** lmao just for smoking a bit of weed 

**woozi** ur dads lit

**memegyu** hahaha bc he probs lit marijuana lolol

**woozi** ur a master of deduction sherlock

**dkcountryreturns** back in october even !! :(

**angelface** hehee top more like POT

**HOSH** did GD get busted a while ago for drugs as well? idek

**joshed** G DRUGGIN' AND POT FROM BIG BONG

**memegyu** honestly i never knew jisoo would be this way and i'm Concerned

**whatwoo** wow

**whatwoo** that's fantastic baby

 

 

~

 

 

**verdone** GUYS IM BACK

**hitthekwan** WE ARE BACK FROM BEING GROUNDED!

**puppycat** it's been like 4 days i thought u were supposed to be grounded for 2 weeks and chan a week

**dino-saur** well,,,

**memegyu** the author felt bad for grounding them and needs more characters to bring more plot in so she decided to unground them early

**mother** what

**memegyu** what?

**therock** tbh i've been here the whole time 

**therock** just not texting so mj and jinwoo wouldn't yell at me

**mother** :(

**father** not angry just disappointed

**tallbeagle** i have been asleep for the past two days!!!!

**angelface** what a beautiful child

**memegyu** so precious

**dkcountryreturns** sanha i love u

**HOSH** tbh me too

**tallbeagle** awh :3 u guys r making me blush

**puppycat** mhm minhyuk's getting a little red too

**therock** nO Im NOt

**chachawoo** i smelled jealously what's happening

**woozi** lol

**minghoe** tbh feel bad for minghyuk bc sanha is Pure and Beautiful and it's hard not to love him

**tallbeagle** but it's okay because i love minghyuk very very much!! :D

**therock** SAnHA I LoVE OU

**tallbeagle** <3

**minghoe** sigh i wish i had someone like that ://

**minghoe** but atleast i have a crush!!

**whatwoo** hao ur actually admitting to having a crush

**minghoe** lmao yeah it's true

**memegyu** awh r u gonna confess in the chat?!?!

**angelface** JOSH IT'S HAPPENING

**joshed** leMME GET MY CAMARA

**dad** Come on Minghao! Let's hear the confession.

**minghoe** lol!

**minghoe** what are you guys talking about? they aren't in this chat you silly ppl

**goodgemini** what.

**memegyu** WHAT

**HOSH** oh shit

**dkcountryreturns** I HAVE ANXIETY PLS DONT LET THIS BE HAPPENING

**woozi** um

**chachawoo** okay i'm confused

**mother** oh no

**joshed** haha! ur right hao silly us! so who's your crush?

**minghao** i'll tell u ;3

**minghao** so he's tall and chinese

**goodgemini** pls continue

**minghoe** he's a very good dancer and singer :))

**dino-saur** tell us more!!

**minghoe** he's older than me and he's hilarious- not to mention he's a total visual :3

**minghoe** he's also acted in chinese films!

**minghoe** i'm getting very close with him!

**dad** So, um, what's his name?

**minghoe** oh! haha i forgot to tell you guys!

**minghoe** his name is Zhang Yixing! But I call him Lay :)

**hitthekwan** yo guys is junhui okay i think he just left the dorm

**angelface** just let him be kwannie

**therock** :/

**joshed** we're happy to here about this guy haohao! hopefully it goes well for you two!

**minghoe** thanks jisoo!!

 

 

_**joshed created a new chatroom** _

_**joshed named chatroom ' save junhao 2k17 '** _

_**joshed added 17 users** _

 

_**17 users entered chatroom** _

 

**joshed** junhui, r u okay

**goodgemini** of course i'm okay why would i not be fucking okay jisoo

**angelface** jun, we just want to care for you

**father** if it makes you feel any better, this lay guy sounds scarily close to you

**goodgemini** i never even said i liked minghao okay?

**goodgemini** i've met yixing before,, he's such a great dude

**goodgemini** like, he's actually perfect

**goodgemini** not a single flaw

**goodgemini** of course hao would like him, who wouldn't

**dino-saur** jun hyung we think you're perfect too!!

**chachawoo** junhui i guarantee that if minghao knew you liked him, he'd be okay with it

**puppycat** tbh if i wasn't in love with dongmin i'd date u

**chachawoo** and visa versa !

**dad** I think Minghao is trying to find a replacement for you.

**goodgemini** haha funny joke seungcheol

**verdone** jun maybe u should start hinting to hao that you're interested

**woozi** yeah,, u don't really show ur emotions that well so there's a likely chance that he doesn't even know you like him

**HOSH** jihoon r u actual lecturing someone one showing their emotions

**woozi** >:(

**mother** ANYWAY jun maybe you should see if yixing is actually interested in minghao as well

**father** and if he isn't, try and see if when he and minghao hang out, he can try and make u look good

**joshed** and if worst comes to worst we can get u a "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" and make minghao jealous 

**goodgemini** ,,, i like that

**angelface** damnit jisoo that soundslike a terrible idea

**dkcountryreturns** i think it would work though!!

**dino-saur** guys we shoul go back to the original chat so minghao isn't suspicious of all of us being inactive at once!

 

 

_**18 users exited chatroom** _

_**18 users entered chatroom ' kyla massie protection squad 2k17 '** _

_**goodgemini changed joshed username to ' jisooschrist '** _

_**verdone changed chatroom name to ' OT19 '** _

 

 

**HOSH** guys we should go to that cafe that hao's boy toy works at and have a huge date

**HOSH** like everyone is with their bf's 

**goodgemini** or gf's

**dkcountryreturns** ya that sounds fun!!

**whatwoo** i'm up for it

**minghoe** ha ha ha ya ! fun !

**jisooschrist** we can plan that later, right now seventeen we need to leave

**angelface** jisoo booked us time at the local studio so we can test out the recording tech!!

**chachawoo** u guys should come to astro next time!! i can book u a slot!!

**woozi** cha eunwoo i love u

**hitthekwan** also look jisoo and jeonnghan's users kinda match 

**hitthekwan** jesus and angel ahhaha

**verdone** jisoos christ blesses us with recording studio time

**dad** Couple goals.

**dino-saur** when dad approves

**memegyu**[[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/8c/73/fa/8c73fa93f14747abb33cef2fb83aa81c.jpg) look at this pic of jihoon staring at dad's ass 

**woozi** kim mingyu i am going to actually kill you in your sleep 

**dad** Okay! Time to go kids!

**father** lol good luck

 

 

~

 

 

_**private chat with minghoe and layspotatochips** _

 

**minghoe** YIXING WE HAVE A PROBLEM MY FRIENDS WANT TO MEET U NEXT WEEK

**layspotatochips** ye so?

**minghoe** I JUST TOLD THEM THE LIE ABOUT ME LIKING U

**minghoe** AND JUNHUI KNOWS

**minghoe** HE BARELY EVEN REACTED

**layspotatochips** my dude,,, it's okay,,, we can just make him jealous when they come next week

**minghoe** ohh good idea!!  

**layspotatochips** also it's good bc i heard ur friends w/ cha eunwoo and i want to get an autograph to give to joonmyun

**minghoe** oh ya!! is suho ok w/ me pretending to like u?! i don't want him to be angry or jealous :((

**layspotatochips** no my dude,, he hella ships u and junhui and wants u to be together,,, this is with his full consent lmao

**minghoe** heehe good! i look forward to next week then!

**layspotatochips** lmao sounds good /babe/

**minghoe** :))))

 

 

 

_**goodgemini entered ' save junhui 2k17 '** _

 

 

**goodgemini** y'all i think i'll bring a girl,,, i don't like girls but i think that will make things more spicy ye?

**goodgemini** i feel like hao will be more spooked :0

**memegyu** ur so evil jun

**memegyu** i like that

 

 


	5. sips 78 gallons of tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junhao ;)) and Seventeen debut? oh hoh hoh ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY JUN DAY I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S 21 HE'S ALMOST 6 YEARS OLDER THAN ME YIKES! BUT I HOPE HIS DAY WAS AMAZING 
> 
> also i'm this update took so long,, kudos to all u chat fic or crack writers bc this is so hard because i am one of the most unfunny people in existence and even coming up with sucky humor is hard :// but that's ok!! bc it's fun!! 
> 
> so if this isn't funny,,, oops
> 
> also in this chapter i mention some stuff about companies that is probably most likely totally incorrect it just helps with the plot so just go with it!! for example trainees spend years preparing to debut and they work their asses off, but for this sake of this fic some will train for a significantly shorter time and debut so please do not get butthurt because i totally acknowledge how hard trainee life is!!

**HOSH** TODAY IS THE DAY

**dkcountryreturns** WHERE WE GET TO MEET LAY

**hitthekwan** WHO IS HAOHAO'S NEW BAE

**woozi** this will definitely go astray

**dad** But it will all be okay!

**dino-saur** it will also be gay!

**angelface** there'll be drama, by the way

**jisooschrist** wait are we going to a cafe?

**minghoe** we are!! anyway,,

**goodgemini** i'm taking the chevrolet

**minghoe** not going with the rest of us? why won't you stay?

**goodgemini** i have to take the freeway

**whatwoo** what he's trying to convey

**memegyu** is that he's bringing a girl to the gourmet

**verdone** for a date i daresay!

**goodgemini** i said i'd meet her halfway

**jisooschrist** we should arrive there midday

**dino-saur** i'm gonna get a parfait!

**minghoe** he he u guys sure u don't want subway?

**minghoe** u don't have to come if u don't want to, ok?

**angelface** nonsense! I want to see this lay that u have on display!

**dad** This will turn out fine, that I pray.

**memegyu** junhui bring ur girl a bouquet!

 

 

~

 

 

**mother** honestly how do they even do that

**father** that was the most satisfying this i've read 

**tallbeagle** hehe did u guys read it outloud like i did?

**chachawoo** honestly friendship goals

**puppycat** im shook

**therock** do you guys know who jun is bringing?

**therock** like ik he's bringing a girl but,, 

**puppycat** sSHHSHSHHH 

**puppycat** IM PMING U

 

_**private chat room with puppycat and therock** _

 

**puppycat** MINHYUK U CAN'T SAY ANYTHING IN THE MAIN CHAT BECAUSE MINGHAO IS IN IT

**puppycat** USE UR BRAIN BRO 

**therock** ok ok sorry dude i 4got

**puppycat** yo it's fine we just gotta keep the plan

**puppycat** he's bringing a girl,, zhou jieqiong?? u know her,, kyulkyung! she's chinese and in pristin, so she and jun are really close.. but only a few know this, and i heard this from dongmin, but she's gay as fuck so they def aren't together. she's been dating nayoung since before their debut so,,,

**puppycat** like only jun and probs seungcheol know

**therock** ohhhh ya kyulkyung is probably the best person for this then

**puppycat** ya but dude pls don't tell i don't need dongmin getting upset,,, it makes me upset when he's upset

**therock** disgusting,,,

**puppycat** rocky,, everytime sanha's name is even mentioned u freak out,,, pls

**therock** ,,,,,, no

**puppycat**?? yes?

**therock** NO

**puppycat** y r u even my best friend

 

 

_**dino-saur created a new chatroom** _

_**dino-saur named chatroom ' updates on the septuple date + chan '** _

_**dino-saur added 6 users** _

 

 

**dino-saur** u guys should know what's going on!

**dino-saur** and also i'm the only one here without a significant other, fake or not so i might as well talk to u guys lol!

**tallbeagle** i would've been ur date chan :(

**therock** hahaha No You Wouldn't Have

**chachawoo** what's happened so far chan?

**dino-saur** so basically we get to the cafe and yixing meets us at the door, and minghao jumps in and hugs him (tbh it was really awkward but anyway)

**dino-saur** junhui isn't here yet, so lay brings us to a private room bc there's so many of us lol

**mother** sorry to interrupt but speaking of lots of people and private rooms

**father** myungjun in u say anything about a strip club i'm divorcing u

**therock** u guys aren't even MARRIED

**puppycat** ANYWAY

**mother** jinwoo shut up i was suggesting that all 19 of us go out for like a super nice dinner and dress up and shit

**tallbeagle** i like that idea!

**dino-saur** that sounds fun!! i'll ask mom and dad and mom and dad 

**dino-saur** but anyway we're sitting down and talking with lay, he's super nice and he keeps talking about his bestfriend suho a /lot/ so i see drama

**dino-saur** OAKOAK jun is here with kyulkyung from pristin and everyone is frEAKINgOUT

**dino-saur** bc we didn't know who he was bringing in and kyulkyung is kyulkyung so!!!!!!

**dino-saur** like jeonghan gasped out loud, wonwoo smiled, jihoon choked, hansol and seungkwan are pinching each other, seungcheol is just smirking???, mingyu is fanning himself, soonyoung just fake passed out into seokmin's lap and seokmin is trying to discreetly wipe away tears,, jisoo has his eyes closed- i think he's praying????

**tallbeagle** lol! i wonder what's gonna happen

**mother** im kinda sweating from this and i'm not even there

**dino-saur** ahh minghao is just not moving?? lay just tried to snap him out of it but minghao's eyes are like frozen on jun's hand on kyulkyung's waist

**dino-saur** okaokay so everyone's sat down and we're ordering brunch

**puppycat** i love brunch

**chachawoo** we should go out for brunch some time binnie!

**puppycat** PLS

**dino-saur** kyulkyung is introducing herself and jun is being v affectionate i'm kind of cringing

**dino-saur** OH SHIT NOW LAY IS BEING AFFECTIONATE WITH HAO

**dino-saur** IT'S LIKE A COMPETITION OF WHO'S THE CUTER COUPLE

**dino-saur** oh thank god i'm not the only one here uncomfortable 

**dino-saur** mingyu just lowkey gagged

**dino-saur** woozi and seungcheol are trying to distract themselves with tic tac toe 

**chachawoo** i'm shaking

**father** i literally just made myself some popcorn this is so entertaining

**mother** aren't u supposed to be recording,,

**father** ,,, yes

**dino-saur** wonwoo i'm pretty sure is sleeping

**dino-saur** jisoo and jeonghan are literally playing patty cake underneath the table WhAt Is HaPpEnInG

**puppycat** couple goals

**therock** are they kissing or what?

**tallbeagle** shhh minhyuk lolol

**dino-saur** only like pecks on the cheek from both couples, everyone looks so uncomf doing so tho

**dino-saur** our food is here thank gof

**tallbeagle** what did u get??

**dino-saur** who do u think i am of course i got french toast

**tallbeagle** hehe i know~~

**mother** by the way did u all eat this morning?? our manager wants us to eat every meal so we can stay healthy

**chachawoo** yup!

**therock** sanha and i had pancakes

**puppycat** ya i went out with sua today

**mother** jinwoo?

**father** ,,, i'm eating popcorn rn ,,,

**mother** god damn it jinwoo come over i'm making u a veggie omelette

**dino-saur** oh UM JUN LITERALLY JUST WHISPERED TO HIMSELF 'FUCK IT' APOLOGIZED TO KYULKYUNG AND KISSED HER STRAIGHT ON THE MOUTH

**dino-saur** EVERYONE IS SILENT

**dino-saur** KYULKYUNG LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GONNA VOMIT

**dino-saur** MINGHAO JUST RAN OUT OF THE ROOM

**dino-saur** JUN JUST RAN AFTER HIM

**therock** I NEED SOME AIR

**puppycat** I'M HYPERVENTILATING

**mother** MMHM THIS TEA

**chachawoo** IS THIS A DRAMA BC I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE READ THIS SCRIPT

**father** my popcorn bowl is refilled

**dino-saur** GUYS

**dino-saur** HOLY SHIT

**dino-saur** U WON'T BELIEVE THIS

**dino-saur** LAY IS EXPLAINING THAT HIM AND MINGHAO LIKING EACH OTHER WAS FAKE

**dino-saur** APPARENTLY MINGHAO THOUGHT JUN DIDN'T LIKE HIM SO HE WANTED TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS AND LAY IS ACTUALLY PERFECT AND KIND OF LIKE JUN SO THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE PERFECT

**dino-saur** AND KYULKYUNG IS EXPLAINING TO LAY THAT SHE'S ALSO NOT WITH JUN? SHE'S WITH NAYOUNG??

**mother** I KNEW THEY WERE TOO CLOSE TO BE PLATONIC

**dino-saur** JEONGHAN IS CRYING JISOO LITERALLY BROUGHT HIS CAMERA AND TRYING TO SNEAK PICTURES OF JUNHAO TALKING IT OUT WONWOO IS STILL ASLEEP JIHOON IS LITERALLY JUST EATING HIS BREAKFAST LIKE NOTHING HAS HAPPENED THIS IS WILD

**dino-saur** VERKWAN AND SOONSEOK ARE TRADING MONEY I THINK THEY BET ON THIS

**tallbeagle** who won?

**dino-saur** verkwan!! they bet that junhao were both trying to make eachother jealous and soonseok thought that lay and hao really had a thing

**dino-saur** turns out lay's best friend suho is actually his boyfriend, and it was his idea for lay to help minghao because he ships mingao and jun together lololol

**puppycat** who doesn't ship them together though,,,

**father** they are such a Great Ship

**chachawoo** lolol china line of seventeen,, 

**dino-saur** JUNHAO ARE BACK

**dino-saur** AND HOLDING HANDS

**dino-saur** EVERYONE IS CLAPPING

**dino-saur** FINALLY 

**therock** MY ANXIETY IS CURED MY CROPS ARE HARVESTED CLIMATE CHANGE IS SOLVED GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL IN SOUTH KOREA MY EYELINER IS SHARP MY WIG IS SNATCHED MY LIFE IS COMPLETE

**mother** mmhm that was enough drama to keep me satisfied for at most 2 days :)

**father** mj u scare me sometimes

**mother** i love u

 

 

~

 

 

_**' OT19 '** _

 

 

**goodgemini** hello :)

**dino-saur** btw guys i updated astro bois about everything that happened so they know all!!

**tallbeagle** CONGRATS GUYS I'VE SHIPPED IT SINCE DAY 1!!!! :D

**chachawoo** minghao!! glad u got ur man!!

**minghoe** THANK U CHA EUNWOO IT MEANS A LOT

**father** where's the rest of u guys?

**goodgemini** they literally all fell asleep in the car bc of the 'sheer amount of drama that took place in under 45 minutes' 

**minghoe** so we left them in the car

**minghoe** they'll wake up soon

**goodgemini** hopefully not

 

 

~

 

 

**hitthekwan** do u guys know that some companies literally have children recruiters?

**HOSH** lol what?

**chachawoo** my company has done that, the kids have parents in the business so they send their kids to school or to a playground and scout talented children so the trainees can start as soon as possible? it's kinda weird

**hitthekwan** bc this 15 year old just came up to me when i was at panera eating my mac and cheese and handed me a business card saying she's seen the seventeen youtube videos and her company wants to quickly train and debut us? she said that we all are very talented and becoming a boy group would make us very successful?!?

**dad** Seungkwan, what company?!?

**hitthekwan** Pledis? it sounds v familiar

**verdone** babe,,,, that's pristin's and nu'est's label,,,, holy shit

**angelface** KWANNIE GIVE ME THE BUSINESS CARD

**jisooschrist** y'all if we sign with them we don't have to rent out that crappy studio,,,

**tallbeagle** PLEASEDEBUT

**puppycat** u guys will have to train,, but since u have experience it may be short?? like u already have a fanbase so they might be eager to debut u

**father** i think i guys should do it! the entertainment business is tiring but rewarding!!

**mother** i think you should do it well,, but u have to be careful

**mother** the pd's will be okay with fanservice and skinship, but u guys have to be ok with hiding that ur in relationships. U also have to appeal to ur female audience, which means u twinks have to pretend like ur straight. also be prepared to be shipped w/ ppl who are not ur significant other and try not to make things awkward? also stay away from scandals bc those are the worst and will haunt u forever no joke

**mother** but other than that u guys should totally debut you guys would kill it!!

**woozi** CHEOL WE NEED TO DO THIS I HAVE SO MUCH MUSIC WRITTEN THAT COULD BE USED

**dkcountryreturns** ive always wanted to travel across the world,, if we get popular enough we can tour all different places

**whatwoo** we'd have enough money to easier pay for rent and groceries,,

**verdone** plS

**HOSH** I'M SHAKING THIS IS CRAZY

**dino-saur** guys!!!!! this is unreal!!!!!

**memegyu** i call being the visual

**angelface** try me mingyu,,,

**memegyu** secOND VISUAL

**jisooschrist** i'm calling the number that they gave to kwan

**minghoe** im trembling

**goodgemini** iM CALLING MY MOM

**dad** Guys, let's not get too excited. We don't even know if they'll actually sign us, so let's not get our hopes up.

**jisooschrist** boys

**angelface** i'm sorry 

**dino-saur** oh no :(

**woozi** oh

**whatwoo** so much for groceries

**jisooschrist** BUT THEY SAID THEY'LL HAVE US IN THE OFFICE ON WEDNESDAY TO SIGN US A CONTRACT 

**jisooschrist** WE'LL TRAIN FOR 1-2 MONTHS JUST TO LEARN HOW TO BE AN IDOL BC WE ALREADY KNOW HOW TO SING AND DANCE AND THEN WE'LL DEBUT

**HOSH** I'M ACTUALLY SOBBING

**dkcountryreturns** BBY WE'RE DOING IT

**tallbeagle** YAYYY GUYS I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

**therock** WE'RE COMING OVER

**mother** WE'RE BRINGING CHAMPAGNE

**father** CHILDREN U CAN HAVE A LITTLE JUST BECAUSE WE'RE CELEBRATING

**verdone** I CAN'T BREATHE

**memegyu** THIS DOESN'T REALLY MAKE SENSE BECAUSE IT IS NO WAY POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO TRAIN SO LITTLE AND DEBUT SO FAST BUT THE AUTHOR WANTED MORE EXCITEMENT TO THE PLOT SO SHE BENT REALITY SORRY BUT YAY SEVENTEEN AS AN IDOL GROUP

**whatwoo** what

**memegyu** what?

**dad** GUYS I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING 

**dad** MAKE SURE TO CALL UR FAMILIES AND TELL THEM THE NEWS

**hitthekwan** I CAN'T SEE THROUGH MY OWN TEARS

**chachawoo** i'm so happy for u guys!!!!!! we have to collab or something!!!!!

**puppycat** GOOD LUCK GUYS U GUYS ARE GONNA BE SUCH A SUCCESS I KNOW IT

 

 

~

 

 

**hitthekwan** ok i know it's like 3 am and everyone's asleep but,,,

**hitthekwan** bc we're going to be idols,,, this is the perfect to bring out my talent as the /variety master/

**hitthekwan** THE TSUNAMI SKIT IS GOING TO BE SO LIT JUST YOU WAIT

 

 

 


	6. ahhhh (AHHHH)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> famous cousins uwu, PROTECT BOO SEUNGKWAN, and where's jisoo lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a request for wonwoo's cousin!jungkook so u asked and i served!!! i hope u don't mind me adding jimin bc he's my bts bias and he's precious
> 
> also this chapter i'm not happy with so i'm sorry if it's dull or boring!!
> 
> it's so hot in massachusetts rn i think i sweat like 2 gallons writing this,,, rip me

_**whatwoo added 2 users to ' OT19 '** _

 

**whatwoo** guys

**whatwoo** whatever u do

**whatwoo** don't freak out

**whatwoo** pls

**johnCOCK** HELLO BITCHES

**babyboi-min** *intense CL music*

**minghoe** is that

**puppycat** WHO I THINK IT IS

**memegyu** oh hey jeongguk hey jimin

**johnCOCK** yo gyu what's up

**chachawoo** oh hey guys!! y r u here?

**babyboi-min** hey eunwoo!! wonwoo added us! we wanted to congratulate seventeen!

**tallbeagle** OMG

**therock** um guys

**therock** bin just fainted

**therock** like he's literally unresponsive on the floor

**HOSH** YOYOYO JUNGKOOK WHAT IS UP MY MAN

**HOSH** THE NAME'S SOONYOUNG

**HOSH** UR A LEGEND

**angelface** omg park jimin u are so precious

**babyboi-min** :3333

**angelface** JISOO CAN WE ADOPT HIM

**jisooschrist** jeonghan he's the same age as us that wouldn't work

**angelface** I DON'T CARE HE'S ADORABLE

**hitthekwan** omg jimin sunbaenim

**babyboi-min** omg boo seungkwan

**hitthekwan** :,)

**hitthekwan** your vocals,,, are so good,,, i love u

**babyboi-min** but seungkwan,, YOUR vocals,,, are so good,,, i love U

**verdone** ahem hello i am hansol vernon chwe,, _seungkwan's_ _boyfriend_

**johnCOCK** ahem i believe jimin is taken,  _seungkwan_

**dad** I don't understand how jealously somehow breaks this chat platform, it's amazing.

**dino-saur** ahhh hey jimin hyung and jeongguk hyung

**goodgemini** HOW DO U KNOW LIKE EVERY IDOL

**mother** it's because he's absolutely adorable and when he was out with us at astro ent. we couldn't help but introduce him to idols

**father** everyone loves him no matter what

**dkcountryreturns** that's so true

**verdone** sorry jungkook, seungkwan would never go after another dude's man- even if he wasn't dating me

**johnCOCK** dude, same with jimin,, it's all cool,, bros?

**verdone** bros

**puppycat** i'm awake!!

**puppycat** and wow that was kinda beautiful ngl

**puppycat** ALSO HELLO JUNGKOOK SUNBAENIM I'M A HUGE FAN

**minghoe** he's literally an actual huge fan,, in their vlive's he's always singing ur parts and stuff

**johnCOCK** that was u??? moon bin??? dude ur amazing

**puppycat** THANK U SUNBAENIM I'M JUST GONNA GO GET A GLASS OF WATER BYE

**therock** he fainted again i'm just gonna go bring him to dongmin

**chachawoo** good idea 

**whatwoo** jeongguk u have like 45 minutes before i'm kicking u and jimin out

**johnCOCK** ANYWAY 

**johnCOCK**  the reason i was added was just bc i wanted to congratulate seventeen on signing with Pledis and starting training!!! once u guys debut we'll probably be seeing u alot more,  so i just wanted to meet u and say hi and stuff

**johnCOCK** also our bts gc is super dead because everyone just sleeps when we aren't promoting

**babyboi-min** it's true lol

**memegyu** speaking of sleeping

**memegyu** wonwoo u need to lay on my bed again

**whatwoo** y

**memegyu** bc it's starting not to smell of u :(

**woozi** yikes that's gay

**dad** Jihoon, you're gay.

**memegyu** jihoon stfu we're all gay

**babyboi-min** rly?

**goodgemini** no joke, everyone in this chat is gay for eachother except for chan

**dino-saur** hee hee

**tallbeagle** it's okay chan!! u don't need a partner to be happy! <3

**angelface** JISOO HOW ABOUT ADOPTING SANHA HE'S ADORABLE

**mother** ahem

**angelface** :( sorry myungjun he's just so cute

**mother** he is isn't he

**johnCOCK** wait that's actually insane

**johnCOCK** how does it happen that everyone is gay for each other ( minus chan)

**therock** idek maybe the gay gods looked down on us one day and was like 'hey they look pretty gay' so one day they said fuck it and changed fate so we would all end up friends with eachother in the end

**verdone** thank u gay gods

**minghoe** #blessed

**father** if it makes things more clear, we can tell u who's together? 

**dad** Good idea Jinwoo. Chan how about you tell Jeongguk and Jimin?

**dino-saur** okee!!

**dino-saur** from ASTRO we have- jinwoo and myungjun (myungjin), dongmin and bin (binwoo), and minhyuk and sanha (socky)!!

**jisooschrist** honestly every astro ship is perfect

**jisooschrist** there are no flaws

**woozi** tbh so true

**babyboi-min** YES kookie pls remind me to get money from seokjin hyung bc he bet that moonrock was real but IM BINWOO AND SOCKY 24/7

**therock** being moon bin's best friend is hard i could never be his boyfriend

**therock** i honestly pity dongmin sometimes

**chachawoo** :( it's a tough life sometimes

**puppycat** OK RUDE

**dino-saur** and of seventeen!

**HOSH** babe this is our moment

**dkcountryreturns** our time to shine

**HOSH** babe you shine all the time with the adorable smile of yours <3

**dkcountryreturns** babe <3

**minghoe** gay

**dino-saur** we have jihoon and seungcheol (jicheol), jeonghan and jisoo (jihan), junhui and minghao (junhao), seokmin and soonyoung (soonseok), hansol aka vernon and seunkwan (verkwan), and lastly wonwoo and mingyu (meanie) ?????? idk really about meanie they are kinda unstable and we are working on the admitting feelings part but we definitely can prove from the sound that comes from their room occasionally that they are sexually active

**memegyu** okay CHAN that's quite ENOUGH don't you THINK

**whatwoo** wow suddenly i have a thing at the thing that the thing invited me to goodbye

**johnCOCK** SIPS TEA

**johnCOCK** mingyu is he good in bed

**memegyu** JUNGKOOK

**johnCOCK** no seriously i need to know if he's better in bed than me 

**johnCOCK** it's for science

**babyboi-min** i think ur great in bed kook

**mother** OKAY BOYS WE HAVE CHILDREN IN THIS CHAT

**tallbeagle** lol i just turned 17!

**angelface** I'M CRYING IN THE CLUB YOU'RE SO SMOL

**dino-saur** he's even younger than me lol!

**tallbeagle** i'm still taller than most of you though!

**woozi** wow ok

**puppycat** did

**puppycat** did he just casually roast more than half of this chatroom

**jisooschrist** im cry ing

**goodgemini** ahhhh

**dad** Guys, the only person here who is taller than him is Mingyu. 

**memegyu** hah losers

**tallbeagle** u have my respect mingyu hyung

**memegyu** u sEE THAT LOSERS I HAVE YOON SANHA'S RESPECT THIS IS THE HIGHEST POINT OF MY LIFE

**HOSH** minhyuk how does it feel dating a giant

**therock** don't talk to me im brooding

**tallbeagle** :((( minhyukkie 

**therock** brooding?!??! who's she!??!?! i love having a tall boyfriend!!!!!

**tallbeagle** :)))

**verdone** the effect that sanha has on everyone is slightly disconcerting but u know what it's ok

**johnCOCK** ya dude if i wasn't dating jiminie i'd probably go for sanha

**therock** oKAY LISTEN UP

**whatwoo** OKAY HYUNGS IT'S TIME TO LEAVE SAY GOODBYE AU REVOIR ANNYEONG SAYONARA ADIOS 

 

 

_**whatwoo has removed 2 users from ' OT19 '** _

 

 

**whatwoo** oops

**puppycat** honestly that was the best 45 minutes of my life

**minghoe** wild

**jisooschrist** y'all i always knew those two were together

**woozi** gay

**dad** JIHOON STOP

 

 

~

 

 

**HOSH** YALL

**HOSH** WE ARE DEBUTING NEXT WEEK

**HOSH** I JUST REALIZED

**woozi** tbh i got a little choked up reading that

**chachawoo** i'm am so excited for you guys!! u guys are lucky u are training for so short

**hitthekwan** i am Suffering

**hitthekwan** I HAVEN'T EATEN A SLICE OF PIZZA IN LIKE 2 MONTHS

**hitthekwan** MY MANAGER IS MAKING ME FEEL SO BAD AS SHEs FORCING THESE GREEN LEAVES DOWN MY THROAT

**father** do u mean lettuce

**hitthekwan** YES

**hitthekwan** i DONT SEE ANYONE ELSE DIETING LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS 

**hitthekwan** LIKE YEAH I GET IT I'M CHUBBY BUT GIVE ME SOME PEACE :( IT'S LIKE I NEED TO CHANGE MY WHOLE BEING TO DEBUT I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO IT ANYMORE

**angelface** kwannie :(( u aren't chubby! and you belong with us!!!!!!!

**jisooschrist** your body is perfect just the way it is!

**hitthekwan** tell that to manager-nim :(((

**HOSH** kwannie we wouldn't be SVT without you!!

**woozi** seungkwan your vocals are one of the reasons we got signed in the first place

**minghoe** you're our moodmaker!!

**dad** Seungkwan, please don't ever put yourself down like that. We all love you just the way you are, and you shouldn't take what our manager and the company says to heart. We would not be who we are today without you.

**mother** I know that the staff can really be harsh, but like seungcheol said, don't take it too personally

**tallbeagle** please don't let them change you seungkwan!! you are amazing how you are now!!

**chachawoo** this is just the beginning of your journey through fame and media,, you will get criticism from many, but learning how to and getting over than and learning how to ignore it and move on it a lovely trait to have. you're wonderful seungkwan, fighting!!!

**dkcountryreturns** kwan we would be so lost without u :((

**whatwoo** we would be hilariously unfunny without u 

**memegyu** you're our boo boo seungkwan

**father** stay strong little bro

**dino-saur** :((((( kwan pls keep doing what you're doing,, i'll sneak u in some pepero

**verdone** listen when I say I love u, boo seungkwan, I mean that I will do everything I can to make sure that you becomes the star that you deserve to be and be appreciated by everyone for your talent, personality, looks, everything,,, you are my best friend and if you quit, i'll quit because i just can't do this without u,, you're so easy going and a lovely person even though sometimes u annoy but in all that just makes me love u more,, you have the most beautiful heart and i wouldn't be who i am today without you seungkwan so please take care of yourself and come to me whenever you're feeling down because i can't stand it when you're sad i love you

**therock** is anyone else crying because i am

**angelface** i love my children so much this is the most lovely thing i have ever witness jisoo get me some tissues my eyes are leaking i've never been so proud to be parents what's wrong with me

**dad** Hansol that was the nicest thing you've ever texted/said/done. I'm proud.

**woozi** even i'm crying what the fuck

**memegyu** same and guys the author didn't mean for this to get all serious but then she was just thinking of boo seungkwan and how under appreciated he is and hoe he deserves the world and she accidently started tearing up while vernon was confessing how much he cares for kwan and now she's a mess

**dino-saur** what

**memegyu** what?

**hitthekwan** CHWE HANSOL COME TO MY ROOM AND BRING TISSUES AND LIKE 8 ROMCOMS AND MAYBE SOME POPCORN BECAUSE UR NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM FOR ATLEASY 12 HOURS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO BURST

**hitthekwan** ALSO THE REST OF YOU THANK U SM I AM SO TOUCHED AND I LOVE YOU ALL AS WELL

**angelface** we love u!! <3

 

 

~

 

 

**angelface** guys have u seen jisoo?

**angelface** i just woke up and he isn't in our bed? but he usually sleeps in later than me? especially since we debuted he's been sleeping like a rock,,,

**dad** I haven't seen him, did you check the living room and the kitchen?

**dkcountryreturns** i've been in both this morning and he wasn't there

**goodgemini** he isn't at the gym downstairs either

**HOSH** he's not in the bathroom bc i'm currently in the bathroom lol

**dino-saur** maybe he went for a walk? 

**verdone** i don't think so,, usually he takes his guitar with him so he can play for the people at the park

**chachawoo** what a sweet human being

**whatwoo** he isn't anywhere near the lobby of our apartment?

**memegyu** also not at the grocery store, i was just there to get stuff to restock the fridge

**woozi** did u get yogurt

**memegyu** ya

**woozi** good

**angelface** THIS IS NO TIME FOR YOGURT MY BOYFRIEND IS MISSING AND I'M PANICKING

**hitthekwan** mom please calm down

**angelface** I CAN'T WHAT IF HE'S LOST WHAT IF HE'S HURT WHAT IF HE'S CHEATING ON ME THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS

**dad** Jeonghan, Joshua would never cheat on you. He loves you too much.

**angelface** IDK?? DID U SEE THE WAY WINWIN FROM NCT WAS LOOKING AT HIM AT SHOW CHAMPION?? WINWIN IS ADORABLE OF COURSE JISOO WOULD GO TO HIM

**mother** jeonghan, please calm down. would u like to come to our dorm for some tea? it would calm your nerves

**dino-saur** also winwin looks at taeyong like he's the sun so i don't think he's likely to have an affair with ur boyfriend mom lol

**father** minhyuk and i can go out and look for joshua if u want as well

**minghoe** i just found his phone on the counter, but his laptop is gone

**angelface** OH GOD DID SOMEONE IDOL-NAP HIM LAST TIME AND TAKE HIS LAPTOP AS WELL?!?!?!?

**mother** ooohkay jeonghan we are coming over to pick u up and ur going to take a nice bath okay? i have vanilla incense and bath salts that you're gonna love

**angelface** :(( ok,,,

 

 

~

 

 

**jisooschrist** omg guys im at the starbucks that is like a 10 minute walk away from our apartment,,, my mom emailed me and i wanted to sit down for a bit and relax with a coffee while i talked to her,, jeonghannie i even woke you up to tell u i was leaving,,, i'm fine guys don't worry hahaha i can text on my macbook so u still could've contacted me even though i left my phone at home

**angelface** i thought u were DEAD :(( i was going to vlive crying and have the fans have a memorial for you,,, :((

**jisooschrist** hannie :,) i'm fine,, you're so dramatic

**angelface** i hate u :((((

**jisooschrist** i love you <3333

**angelface** ,,,,

**angelface** i love u too <3333

**dino-saur** our family is so problematic,,, but ily guys <3

 

 

 

 


	7. aahaha what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hoshi Almost Died and jisoo is cringey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY KWON SOONYOUNG U BEAUTIFUL RAY OF SUNSHINE EVEN THOUGH UR BORTHDAY WAS LIKE YESTERDAY BUT WHATEVER
> 
> anyway so i tried to make this chapter more soonyoung centered bc he is Birthed
> 
> also sorry it's so short! finals are this week [ they started today :((( ] and next week so my schedule is Tight and Stressful,, hopefully next chapter will be longer and funnier bc i pulled this right out of my ass today. well if u also have finals good luck!!! eat well and get a good night's sleep!!! take care of yourselves!!!

**chachawoo** guys thanks for agreeing to come meet us in the city!!

**tallbeagle** i'm so excited to see u guys again!

**verdone** yo i was promised food

**hitthekwan** ur so classy hansol

**dad** Where are we meeting?

**mother** how about the mcdonalds down the street from our building? we can get food while we mingle

**minghoe** IM GETTING 5 MCFLURRIES NO ONE CAN STOP ME

**goodgemini** can i have one 

**minghoe** haahaha

**minghoe** NO

**goodgemini** sometimes i wonder if we're actually dating

**minghoe** sorry babe

**minghoe** NO <3

**therock** i'm broke can someone buy me food

**father** minhyuk u are in no way broke

**tallbeagle** i'll buy u food hyuk!!

**mother** SANHA DON'T LET HIM ABUSE UR MONEY FOR THIS

**angelface** SAVE IT FOR COLLEGE

**woozi** cheol can u buy me fries

**dad** Sure, Jihoon.

**woozi** thanks <3

**therock** why can seungcheol buy jihoon food but sanha can't buy me food?

**whatwoo** well he's the dad he can whatever he wants

**puppycat** and sanha is younger than you and more precious and u have more money than him u should be buying HIM food

**tallbeagle** minhyuk can u buy me an icecream sundae!?!? it has hot fudge!!!!!!

**therock** ,,,,, of course sanha

**tallbeagle** :D !!!! <333

**dkcountryreturns** we are on our way!!

 

**~**

 

 

**HOSH** guys sorry i left i'm having a craving for hot cheetos

**dino-saur** soonyoung u can't stand hot or spicy things??

**HOSH** idek hot cheetos r addicting and i can't stop eating them even though i'm in pain?

**jisooschrist** that is slightly concerning

**dkcountryreturns** where are u going?

**HOSH** idk i'm walking around the city looking for a store

**chachawoo** there's a drugstore like 2 minutes away, u should go there

**angelface** pls be safe 

**woozi** if someone tries to grab u bite them

**minghoe** or kick their dick

**minghoe** hahah that rhymed

**dad**  Hopefully nothing will happen for it to get to that point.

**father**  there's not much crime that happens around here so i think ur fine soonyoung

**therock**  the only crime here is how gorgeous i look in skinny jeans ;) should be illegal how hot i am

**mother**  im putting u up for adopting

**mother**  and filing a restraining order so u can't go anywhere near sanha

**tallbeagle**  :(

**woozi**  cheol and i will take sanha no charge

**mother**  I Think Not

**angelface**  nice try jihoon if anyone was to get sanha from myungjun and jinwoo it would be me and jisoo

**angelface**  can we be his godparents so if u guys suddenly die or something we can take him?

**father** that is a little frightening

**mother** dude sure

**mother** always need a backup plan

**woozi** seungcheol why are u best friends with jeonghan he's so mean to me:(

**dad** Sorry, can't control him. He's a beast.

**angelface** gasp jisoo baby defend me

**jisooschrist** but it's true? you can be v scary sometimes 

**angelface** :,(

**jisooschrist** but i love you for it with all my heart

**angelface** :,)

**memegyu** they really are a sappy married couple

**memegyu** just get married u hoes

**jisooschrist** ok

**dkcountryreturns** omg

**puppycat** woah plot twist

**jisooschrist** i mean, why not?? couples are getting married and having kids at our age anyway? i mean we'll be 22 soon

**mother** I HAVE TEARS

**angelface** jiSOO BABY

**angelface** I THOUGHT YOU'D BE AGAINST MARRIAGE 

**hitthekwan** MOM AND DAD !!!!!! WHAT IS HAPPENING !!!!!

**jisooschrist** we'd have to go to the states for it to be legal,,, but my mom is there anyway? i mean if jeonghan is up for it i'm willing to basically have a secret marriage in the states lol

**whatwoo** my head is spinning what

**angelface**!?!?!?!? i

**angelface** yes ?!?!?!

**HOSH** um guys

**HOSH** i'm really sorry to interrupt bc i am so PUMPED if u guys get married but

**HOSH** i'm lost 

**dkcountryreturns** soonie it's been like an hour?!? r u safe?!?!

**HOSH** yeah? i think? i got like 8 bags of hot cheetos from a creepy gas station that a random bus took me to and idk where i am now

**verdone** soonyoung it's getting dark

**dkcountryreturns** oh good soonyoung

**chachawoo** can u look for street signs?

**HOSH** i'm walking down the street now, there's a sign like 100 meters down

**tallbeagle** yeah tell us what street you are on and we can tell you where u are and we can pick u up!!

**angelface** i'm putting u on house arrest soonyoung 

**jisooschrist** how about we just use the buddy rule,,

**angelface** amazing idea jisoo, you are wonderful <3333

**HOSH** ok i hate to interrupt mom and dad again but THERE IS A SMALL HUMANOID FIDURE FOLLOWING ME IN ALL BLACK AND I'M SCARED

**memegyu** /walk faster!!/

**HOSH** WHEN I SPEED UP THEY SPEED UP

**HOSH** OH GOD I'M AT A CROSSWALK AND THE LIGHTS GREEN IM CORNERED

**HOSH** WHAT IF THEY TAKE MY HOT CHEETOS

**dkcountryreturns** SOONYOUNG DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FOOD WORRY ABOUT UR SAFETY YOU DUMBASS

**woozi** oh shit seokmin just swore

**dkcountryreturns** I'M SORRY I'M STRESSED ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND'S SAFETY LEAVE ME ALONE

**mother** soonyoung can you tell us the street you're on

**HOSH** IT'S WASHINGTON AVENUE!?!?!?

**father** oh you're a ten minute drive away

**father** c'mon ppl get in the minivan

**goodgemini** ,,,, u have a minivan

**minghoe** ffs junhui don't car shame them when soonyoung may be in danger

**goodgemini** ,, ok ok

**goodgemini** but a minivan? a toyota? atleast get a honda odyssey ://

**whatwoo** jun there is something not right about that brain of yours

**HOSH** guYS THERRE TRYING TO COME CLODER I M DEAD

**HOSH** I LVOE YOU GWUYS AND AT MY FUNERAL WEAR RAINBOW SO EVERYONE KNOWS I'M GAY AS FUCK FOR LEE SEOKMIN AND THAN BURY ME IN HOT CHEETOS THTAV IS ALL I ASK FOR

**woozi** USE SELF DEFENSE GOD DAMNIT SOONYOUNG

**tallbeagle** we are on our way!!!! just wait a bit!!!!!

**dkcountryreturns** SOONYOUNG BBY DON'T SAY THAT YOU'LL BE FINE WE'RE JUST AROUND THE CORNER

**dino-saur** this is scary!!!! soonyoung hyung pls be ok!

**angelface** MY BABY HE WILL BE FINE DON'T WORRY

**jisooschrist** my uncle's a priest he can probably lead ur funeral

**mother** JISOO

**angelface** JISOO I LOVE U BUT STFU WE DON'T NEED A FUNERAL

**HOSH** my dudes,,,, it's all good,,,

**dkcountryreturns** oh god they drugged him didn't they

**HOSH** no guys

**HOSH** it literally is just an emo teenage fan

**HOSH** she's like 15 and awkward but she's adorable

**memegyu** r u serious

**woozi** r u saying we packed all these people in the car for u to be stopped by an emo fan

**woozi** there are 5 of us in the trunk

**dino-saur** hehe i think it's fun being in the trunk

**woozi** chan pls shut up i'm trying to be annoyed

**whatwoo** u don't have to try that hard

**woozi** suddenly being annoyed is easier thx wonwoo for ur input

**minghoe** soonyoung what's happening??

**HOSH** we are j-chilling and i'm giving her my autograph

**HOSH** y'all,,, my first autograph!!! 

**angelface** so annoyed,,, yet still so proud,,,,

**jisooschrist** guess i should stop writing my email to my uncle,,

**goodgemini** /YES U SHOULD/

**verdone** this was wild

**verdone** also i can't feel my legs bc seungkwan's ass bones are dabbing into them

**chachawoo** oh ?

**verdone** *jabbing

**hitthekwan** hansollie the j and the d are not even near each other on the keyboard u fake ass hoe

**verdone** shhhh

**hitthekwan** ur lucky u have a nice dick

**mother** WE HAVE CHILDREN PRESENT

**woozi** GDI VERKWAN KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM

**dad** We're here Soonyoung. Get in the car.

**puppycat** doesn't seungcheol sound more aggressive than he actually is with his perfect grammar? like he sounds so annoyed but he really isn't?!!?

**angelface** u get used to it 

**angelface** he's just old and boring tbh

**dad** As you can see, I have the nicest best friend.

**angelface** ily2 cheollie <3

**dad** -.-

**goodgemini** holy shit

**memegyu** guys we are witnessing history being born

**therock** what's happenign what

**woozi** seungcheol has never typed an emoji before this minute

**woozi** honestly so proud

**woozi** probs will give u some real good head for this one cheol

**hitthekwan** GDI JICHEOL KEEP IT IN THE BEDROOM

**woozi** seungkwan if i wasn't stuck in the trunk with these 4 other losers i'd whoop ur sorry ass

**dino-saur** jihoon hyung :((((

**minghoe** excuse me binch

**therock** what

**angelface** how dare u call my boyfriend a loser

**jisooschrist** hannie chill nothing jihoon says to me even registers bc i don't comprehend irrelevant things

**dad** Yikes.

**woozi** ur lucky u are who u are hong jisoo

**HOSH** anyone want some hot cheetos

 

 

~

 

 

**HOSH** YALL

**HOSH** HOLY SHIT

**HOSH** I KNOW JISOO HAS ACTUALLY BEEN DOING WHEN HE LEAVES THE HOUSE SO EARLY IN THE MORNINGS

**HOSH** IM LAHGIN SO HRAD

**angelface** lol what?

**mother** SPILL THE TEA BITCH

**tallbeagle** mommy please calm down

**whatwoo** how do u even know in the first place

**HOSH** HE LEFT HIS LAPTOP OPEN AND UNLOCKED WHEN HE FELL ASLEEP

**chachawoo** what does he do?!

**HOSH** SO U KNOW EVER SINCE WE DEBUTED WE'VE BEEN RELEASING VLOGS AND SHIT AND WE'VE BEEN GOING ON VARIETY SHOWS????

**memegyu** um ya we've been there

**puppycat** i'm so awkward on variety shows kms

**hitthekwan** DID SOMEBODY SAY VARIETY BC THAT IS MY SHIT

**father** seungkwan u actually are the king of variety ur freaking hilarious

**hitthekwan** ;)

**HOSH** GUYS JISOO IS A TRANSLATER YOUTUBER

**HOSH** HE TRANSLATES ALL OUR CONTENT INTO ENGLISH FOR INT. FANS

**HOSH** HE'S HELLA FAMOUS TOO?!?!?! OVER 50,000 FOLLOWERS

**woozi** lol who even

**dad** That seems very tiring...

**angelface** that's so cute!

**HOSH** IT GETS BETTER

**HOSH** HIS USERNAME IS 'jihan is canon <333 :333 uwu'

**memegyu** BHAHAHAH

**HOSH** HE MAKES EDITS OF HIS OWN RELATIONSHIP

**HOSH** AND OUR RELATIONSHIPS TOO!?!?!?

**HOSH** HE MAKES UCKING CRACK VIDEOS AS WELL IM SHITIGN

**verdone** THERE ARE TEARS INMY EYES FROM LAUHGIN

**dkcountryreturns** SOONYOUNG U SLY DOG U

**angelface** SEND THE LINK I'M WATCHING ECERY VIDEO

**angelface** IM NOT EVEN ASHAMED

**angelface** YALL THIS IS THE MAN I'M GONNA MARRY AND I'M NOT EVEN SORRY

**angelface** HES SUCH A CHEESEBALL I LOVE HIM

**minghoe** ,,,, a cheeseball

**woozi** jeonghan amazes me,, if seungcheol pulled shit like this i'd be so embarassed /for him/ that i wouldn't be able to look at him lol

**dad** Good to know,,,

**mother** SEnD tHE lINK THIS IS SO SPICY

**father** mj u need to chill bb

**chachawoo** does jisoo even know u exposed him lol

**HOSH** nope lololol he'll wake up later and be horrified

**tallbeagle** poor jisoo :(

**angelface** yoon sanha ur so precious, jisoo will be fine bc i'll make it fine ;)

**dad** OKAY WELL ON THAT NOTE

 

 

~

 

 

**jisooschrist** i just woke up,, hwhat did i miss

**jisooschrist** oh

**jisooschrist** fuck

**HOSH** HAHASHAHA JIHAN IS CANON

**jisooschrist** u know what,,,

**jisooschrist** not even ashamed :)

 

 

~

 

 

**therock** wait jisoo can u teach me how to do that

**therock** i thnk the world deserves more socky content

**father** no it doesn't

**therock** piss off old man

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. I fOrGOt to NaME tHsi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idek a lot happens in this chapter just wait and see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN UP PD101 FINALS WERE FRIDAY AND KIM SAMUEL DID NOT GET IN FUCKING TOP 11 I AM SO HEARTBROKEN AND PISSED ALSO NU'EST IS GETTING SPLIT UP :((((
> 
> idk if you have seen the video of muel trying to not to cry on live tv as he found out he didn't make it, but that video is everywhere and it makes me cry bc i'm a loser and this kid has worked so hard :((( so in the beginning there are some controversial topics about mnet and the whole pd101 situation- most of these i took from twitter as people reactions so pls don't yell at me for what is said!! 
> 
> also on a better note! i got a request for more chinaline and binwoo (there will be much more of both in the future as well!), and you ask, you receive!! if u readers ever want to see something in this shit excuse for a fanfiction, hmu bc i will do it!
> 
> also thank u for all commenting and giving kudos! i'm so touched whenever i see someone has enjoyed this chatfic hell!! also i also get v flustered bc there are so many authors that i adore and i adore their work that have either commented or given kudos so special thanks to u guys bc ily ah 
> 
> p.s. i've been slowly writing this over the weekend,, sorry this update is so slow, finals are kicking my ass lol

**dad** ok

**dad** i am so upset that i cant even bother with grammar rn

**woozi** cheol r u good

**mother** um this can't be good

**dad** kim samuel, this 15 year old boy who was with us when we first even made out youtube channel,,, who left us for bigger and better things because he is such a talented boy,,, 

**dad** was on produce 101 and FOR SOME IMPOSSIBLE REASON GOT 18TH!?!?!?! DIDN'T DEBUT?!?!?! EVERY SINGLE FUCKING PERSON THOUGHT HE'D DEBUT

**dad** I WENT TO THE FINAL!!!! I HAD TO WATCH THIS BOY TRY NOT TO CRY AS HIS LOSS WAS FILMED ON LIVE TELEVISION,, EVERYONE WAS HYPED UP FOR HIM TO DEBUT,,,

**dad** LIKE JEONGHAN AND JISOO ARE LIKE HALF THE PEOPLE IN THIS CHAT'S "PARENTS" BUT SAMUEL I COULD CONSIDER AS MY CHILD AND MY HEART IS BREAKING FOR HIM

**tallbeagle** he didn't debut?!?!?!

**father** dude it's because mnet is a racist piece of shit,, i bet the only reason he didn't debut is because he's half-mexican

**dino-saur** sammy didn't get in top 11?!? ;~;

**verdone** i'm actually crying

**goodgemini** the video of him almost crying is spreading across social media like a wildfire

**memegyu** muel deserves so much better ://

**angelface** i can't believe mnet and knetizen's slept on him like this,,, cheollie i know how close you were with muellie... please cheer him up

**father** >:0

**minghoe** did u see mnet accidently posted the original final lineup and samuel was on it? idek but they apologized and shit but people are saying that muel was supposed to debut!?!!?

**dad** i NEED AN ANGRY BATH

**woozi** can i join

**dad** FINE 

 

 

~

 

 

**jisooschrist** um guys 

**jisooschrist** i lost junhui and minghao

**mother** how can u lose ur own children

**tallbeagle** myungjun hyung you /really/ shouldn't be talking lol! :D

**mother** ,,, my child,,, please

**goodgemini** u should've been actually watching us instead of sitting in the manga section of newbury comics u nerd

**minghoe** y don't you find us jisoo ;)

**jisooschrist** are u literally asking me to play hide and seek with u two in the mall

**minghoe** yes

**jisooschrist** ok im coming

**goodgemini** this is why jisoo is my favorite

**verdone** D:

**goodgemini** u aren't even on my top 5 hansol

**minghoe** what about me :(

**goodgemini** you're too good to even be on the list

**goodgemini** you're like,, better than one,,, you're my 0

**minghoe** awh i think <3

**mother** honestly by the way junhui thinks, you'd think he'd be a natural blond

**whatwoo** you just insulted all the blonds ever born comparing them to jun

**goodgemini** wonwoo who hurt you

**whatwoo** YOU DID WHEN YOU USED THE LAST OF THE ORANGE JUICE AND PUT THE CONTAINER BACK

**whatwoo** I KNOW IT WAS YOU DON'T EVEN LIE

**whatwoo** I BET YOU EVEN BRUSHED UR TEETH RIGHT BEFORE

**whatwoo** BC UR JUST EVIL LIKE THAT

**minghoe** he totally brushed his teeth before

**minghoe** idk the only explanation is that he's a gemini ://

**goodgemini** /GOOD/ GEMINI

**goodgemini** GOOD

**chachawoo** junhui you brush your teeth before you drink orange juice, there is no possible way for you to be 'good'

**goodgemini** CHA EUNWOO PLS

**HOSH** ikr that's kind of deisgusting

**goodgemini** it doesn't taste bad!!!!

**minghoe** ur lucky i love you

**goodgemini** i love you too

**therock** cute

**puppycat** minhyuk brushes his teeth before drinking orange juice too

**tallbeagle** ew

**therock** BIN WHY DO YOU TRY TO RUIN MY LIFE 

**puppycat** ha ha Suffer

**jisooschrist** can you give me a hint i've been searching for twenty minutes

**angelface** jisoo i bet our future marriage that you haven't even left newbury comics yet

**jisooschrist** welp the marriage is still on ppl

**minghoe** we are,,, on the left half of the mall!

**dad** You do realize the mall is one of the biggest in Korea, right? It could take Josh like 2 hours to search every store only on the left...

**goodgemini** you're pretty slow aren't you seungcheol hyung

**dad** Do you want to lose your mirror privileges?

**goodgemini** I'M SORRY DAD FORGIVE ME

**chachawoo** mirror privileges?

**dino-saur** since junhui hyung loves his reflection so much the worst punishment to him and not being able to see himself in a mirror,, when we gets in trouble we take down all the mirrors in the house and everyone has a personal mirror except him lol

**father** we need this for myungjun

**mother** I NEED THE DIVORCE PAPERS

**therock** GDI YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN MARRIED

**jisooschrist** guys i've checked half of the stores so far,,, i'm stopping for boba tea bc i'm kinda out of breath 

**tallbeagle** jisoo hyung fighting!!!

**jisoochrist** thanks sanha <3

**angelface** u sure u don't wanna adopt him,,

**mother** jeonghan stop trying to adopt my child

**angelface** :(

**goodgemini** minghao why did u leave me

**minghoe** i wanna buy you something 

**goodgemini** awh

**goodgemini** wait

**goodgemini** now i have to buy u something

**goodgemini** ur lucky i love you and brought my wallet

**minghoe** <333333

**dkcountryreturns** soonyoung can u buy me something? <3

**HOSH** i would babe <3 but i'm currently penniless

**puppycat** you guys actually have jobs as idols now, you should have money?!?

**HOSH** ahehehhe,,, i 

**HOSH** i spent all of my past 2 paychecks,,,

**memegyu** ON WHAT!?!?

**HOSH** ,,,,,

**HOSH** SHINee merch

**HOSH** SHINee tickets

**HOSH** lee taemin's sock

**HOSH** kim kibum's glasses?

**HOSH** idk lots of stuff

**hitthekwan** can i touch the sock

**HOSH** if u wear gloves,,,

**hitthkwan** deal

**woozi** i wonder about soonyoung's sanity sometimes

**father** can i come to SHINee with you

**HOSH** why not

**father** my dude,,, thank

**HOSH** ;)

**goodgemini** lonely by sistar came on in H&M and now i'm hiding in clothing racks to hide that i'm crying

**hitthekwan** we've all been there...

**memegyu** UM NO WE HAVEN'T SEUNGKWAN R U OK

**hitthekwan** excuse me you didn't leave your room for 3 days after 2ne1 broke up

**whatwoo** hah mingyu what a loser

**hitthekwan** don't even get me started wonwoo let me list some names: 4minute, wonder girls, c-clown, kara, lc9,  even ioi lol u can't talk 

**whatwoo** i have a meeting bye

**jisooschrist** JUNHAO STOP SHOPPING I CAN'T FIND U

**minghoe** we're done!! we've met up already

**goodgemini** i am offended

**goodgemini** i thought hao was going to be a good boyfriend and buy me something sentimental so i bought him this super expensive watch and some classy hair product, and u know what he got me,,, A HAT WITH DEVIL EARS THAT SAYS GEMINI ON THE FRONT

**minghoe** thanks for the presents babe!!!!

**jisooschrist** wait

**jisooschrist** i hear junhui whining

**minghoe** shit

**jisooschrist** founD U BITCHES

**angelface** don't call your children bitches jisoo 

**jisooschrist** FOUND YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS

**angelface** oh god just use bitches

**goodgemini** i wouldn't be whining if minghao was a /good boyfriend/

**minghoe** don't worry junhui i'll give you your real present tonight ;)

**memegyu** i just vommed a bit

**jisooschrist** JESUS CHRIST STOP MAKING OUT I WANNA GO HOME AND READ

**puppycat** don't u mean,,, Jisoos Christ

**verdone** our lord and savior

**mother** Gaymen

**woozi**  don't you mean Amen?

**mother**  no

 

 

~

 

 

**dkcountryreturns** um

**dkcountryreturns** did i just witness moon bin kiss cha eunwoo straight on the lips on live television

**minghoe** oh shit

**HOSH** IT'S REAL

**HOSH** I JUST WITNESSED IT

**HOSH** THE WHOLE SHOW IS FREAKING OUT

**HOSH** BINWOO JUST CAME OUT ON LIVE TELEVISION IN SOUTH KOREA

**angelface** this /really/ is not going to turn out well,,,,

 

 

~

 

 

**chachawoo** guys i think i fucked up 

**mother** YOU THINK

**puppycat** dongmin :(

**woozi** u got real guts lee dongmin

 

 

~ 

 

 

**father** sorry we haven't updated you guys

**father** our manager has us on lockdown in our house for a while as shit calms down

**father** we're cut off the social media and basically the world

**father** but u guys should still be able to contact us i think

**dad** How is everybody holding up?

**father** eh

**father** myungjun and i are fine, we know that it was only a matter of time before we'd have a scandal

**father** tbh didn't think it'd be this huge, but we'll get over it..

**father** sanha and minhyuk aren't use the being this cut off from the world, i think they're scared about what's gonna happen

**father** bin is functioning normally? idk what's up with him actually

**father** and we haven't seen dongmin since we got home from the variety show, he hasn't left his room... bin and mj have brought him his meals, but he hasn't spokena word to us. i think he is taking the full responsibility for this and thinks we are gonna have to disband our group even though we just debuted like 2 months ago,, 

**dino-saur** it isn't all dongmin hyung's fault :(

**verdone** i think that was very brave of him, i wish i could let the world about my relationship as well,,,,

**jisooschrist** if you can, let dongmin know that all of seventeen has his respect and will support him and ASTRO no matter what happens.

**father** i will try, thanks guys

 

 

~

 

 

**memegyu** um holy shit

**memegyu** astro,,, u won't believe this

**memegyu** the media was angry, but now all kinds of idol are coming out about their relationships!?!?!?!

**memegyu** it's like a fucking queer revolution

**chachawoo** hwat?

**verdone** dude this is the craziest shit i've ever witnessed

**dino-saur** jungkook and jimin were the first to follow u and bin

**HOSH** after that we have: key and jonghyun, wonho and hyungwon, g-dragon and top, kyulkyung and nayeon, amber and krystal, baekhyun and chanyeol, momo and mina, mark and jackson, dude even jaebum jinyoung and youngjae are together

**angelface** also in nct there was taeyong and winwin, mark and haechan, ten and johnny

**whatwoo** dongmin you and bin actually started a gay revolution

**puppycat** dongmin just fainted

**jisooschrist** whoops just told the world about jeonghannie and i

**dino-saur** nahahah r u srs?

**minghoe** he actually just posted a pic of him and jeonghan kissing with a rainbow in the background

**angelface** awh <3 we're part of the gay asian revolution

**tallbeagle** omg!!! this is crazy!!!

**mother** our ratings just went up tenfold

**mother** dongmin u just made us rich

**therock** people are so confused

**therock** the gays are screaming

**therock** like check twitter

**whatwoo** #kpopisgay is number trending worldwide and has been for the past day

**puppycat** i told u guys we shouldn't worry!!

**mother** ok just because u r optimistic like all of time does not mean we are,, i thought we were gonna have to quite idol life and become strippers so we can get money

**mother** i was practicing on jinwoo and i think i'd be pretty good if it got that bad

**tallbeagle** lol our manager just brought dongmin and bin flowers saying " i'm sorry i yelled at you for kissing so now i'm saying thank you for kissing bc i now can actually pay for groceries i love you guys "

**dkcountryreturns** guys can seventeen just come out about all our relationships

**whatwoo** we wouldn't be shipped with other ppl as much

**jisooschrist** come join the Revolution losers

**woozi** o god yes pls if i'm shipped with soonyoung anymore i may cry

**woozi** the pitiful looks seokmin has given me when i have to fanservice has gotten too much

**dad** Let's do it one relationship at a time so it's less overwhelming ok?

**chachawoo** well i guess my stupidity worked out in the end! 

**puppycat** ;) i told you it'd be fine you big loser

**tallbeagle** vive les betes!!

**angelface** sanha dear u know that translates to 'long live the beasts'?

**tallbeagle** awh i tried to google translate long live the queers... D:

**memegyu** so basically the queers are beasts

**whatwoo** i can almost taste the confederate flag

**father** ahaha yikes let's not get into that

**dino-saur** how about vive les gens etranges?

**angelface** nope, that's long live strange people lol

**jisooschrist** how about just vive les gays because we're all gay

**angelface** Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it

**mother** tbh you know they're gay when they can easily quote anything lady gaga has said

**angelface** i was born this way ;)

**jisooschrist** ok u little monster time to stop <3

 

 

~

 

 

**therock** OKAY I NEED THIS QUESTION ANSWERED

**therock** JOSHUA HONG

**therock** HONG JISOO

**therock** I SUMMON YOU

**jisooschrist** yes, young one, what do you inquire?

**therock** u watch anime right?

**woozi** /oh god/ does he?

**woozi** all fall i did not stop hearing him obsess over yuri on ice from about october to january

**woozi** and then is haikyuu,,,,, who even plays volleyball anymore

**jisooschrist** DONT YOU DARE INSULT HAIKYUU

**jisooschrist** YOI IS FINE TO INSULT BC HALF THE SHOW WAS FANSERVICE BUT

**jisooschrist** HAIKYUU IS A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE AND IT WILL NEVER DIE

**jisooschrist** KARASUNOOOO :,))

**whatwoo** so the answer is yes, he does watch anime

**therock** OKAY SO YOU WERE BORN IN AMERICA RIGHT? SO YOU SPOKE ENGLISH PRIMARILY AS YOU GREW UP???

**jisooschrist** that is correct

**therock** BUT NOW YOU LIVE IN KOREA AND SPEAK IN KOREAN AND SING IN KOREAN AND DO KOREAN THINGS RIGHT????

**jisooschrist** um yes?!?!

**therock** SO WHEN YOU WATCH ANIME, DO YOU WATCH IT WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES OR KOREAN SUBTITLES?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!

**jisooschrist** oh i can only speak korean well lol, reading and writing is hard because in america i only spoke korean at home

**jisooschrist** so i usually use english subtitles

**jisooschrist** or

**puppycat** oh god

**dkcountryreturns** don't say it

**jisooschrist** the english dub

**goodgemini** ahhhh no pls

**dino-saur** i'm dub shaming 

**angelface** some subs aren't bad!!!! i like the way ouran highschool host club and tokyo ghoul sound!

**jisooschrist** this is why i'm marrying him

**angelface** <3 :D

 

 

~

 

 

**mother**  @ seventeeni just was reading ur profiles on pledis and joshua it said that u are on team jacob so i don't think we can be friends anymore

**tallbeagle** yikes

**father** lol team jacob for life

**jisooschrist** haha yes jinwoo

**mother** OK THAT'S IT I'M FILING A DIVORCE I CAN'T BE ASSOCIATED WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT TEAM EDWARD

**therock** /YOU AREN'T EVEN MARRIED/

 

 


	9. more gay stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so much happens but ft. chan being the Best, crazy lesbians, and some random jihan stuffs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i am back after some mild writer's block with another random ass chapter!! 
> 
> school finally ended yesterday and so i'm finally Free and a sophomore!! i have job interview tomorrow as well! tbh idek what to say so enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> also i need more ideas so if you want something in this chatfic request away and i will give u whatever u want lol! <3

**angelface** GUYS

 **angelface** MY CHILDREN

 **angelface** WERE YOU GUYS AT HOME TODAY!?!?!?!

 **dkcountryreturns** no lol i was with astro playing mini golf

 **HOSH** me too

 **tallbeagle** it was fun!!!

 **father** we should see if our managers can hook up something so our fan's can watch our interactions

 **father** we had a whole fanbase that fuels off of astro x seventeen content lol

 **hitthekwan** hansol and i went to go see his family

 **hitthekwan** i'm pretty sure sofia hates me btw

 **verdone** no she doesn't lololol

 **verdone** i think she feel threatened by you bc i love u so much and she's never experienced me liking someone so much before <3

 **hitthekwan** you've never loved someone like you loved me?

 **verdone** kwannie i've never loved someone like this before you

 **hitthekwan** AHSNOSL

 **hitthekwan** I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YOU

 **hitthekwan** HOW CAN SOMEONE AS PERFECT AS YOU LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME

 **verdone** UR THE PERFECT ONE

 **hitthekwan** NO YOU ARE

 **verdone** YOU!!! ARE!!!! PERFECT!!!!!

 **hitthekwan** YOU'RE PERFECTER 

 **verdone** YOU'RE PERFECTEST

 **woozi** verkwan can u take that lovey dovey shit somewhere else

 **dad** Hey Jihoon.

 **woozi** hi cheol how are you have you eaten can u kiss me u haven't yet today

 **chachawoo** lol

 **angelface** GUY WE'RE GETTING OFF TOPIC WHO WAS HOME TODAY

 **goodgemini** i'm at a photoshoot rn

 **memegyu** whatever visual -.-

 **whatwoo** mingyu and i have been at the book cafe all morning

 **memegyu** save me

 **dad** Jihoon and I got ice cream before we headed to the movies. We are watching the previews for the movie now.

 **mother** what are you watching?

 **woozi** well we were /going/ to watch Wonder Woman, but cheol decided to eat slow as fuck so we missed the start of the movie, so now we are watching the Captain Underpants movie so we don't have to wait 2 hours for the next showing of WW

 **dad** I read the books when I was younger, I think the movie will be cute!

 **woozi** cheol we are the only adults here who are not with their young children, and the movie is fueled off of bathroom jokes and about a half naked crazy man who thinks he's a superhero bc he was hypnotized to not separate the most likely gay elementary school protagonists this /not/ going to be cute

 **minghoe** i'm third wheeling on a date with lay and suho 

 **minghoe** and their making me pay, saying i owe them for getting me together with junhui

 **minghoe** i hate my friends

 **angelface** so that leaves CHAN

 **dino-saur** ya mom i was home all morning!!

 **angelface** CHAN HOW IS THE WHOLE APARTMENT SO CLEAN IT'S SHINING

 **angelface** WHEN JISOO AND I LEFT THE HOUSE THIS MORNING WE COULDN'T EVEN SEE THE FLOOR THROUGH EVERYONE'S SHIT

 **angelface** tURNS OUR WE ACTUALLY HAVE A TOASTER?!?

 **angelface** I THOUGHT I LOST THAT BACK IN 2015

 **dino-saur** everyone left the house and was busy and i was rly bored so i decided to clean the house?!?

 **dino-saur** like i just connected my phone to bluetooth, blasted music, and actually cleaned the entire house!!

 **dino-saur** michael jackson and g-dragon really help me work hard lol

 **angelface** JISOO STARTED CRYING

 **mother** wow! i wish some of my boys would do that! (COUGH COUGH)

 **jisooschrist** myungjun you don't even understand,, ever since i moved to korea from america and moved in with these losers, we've never had a clean house

 **jisooschrist** i haven't seen the floor of the living room for so long, i didn't even know we had carpet

 **angelface** chan i'm gonna pay u i'm so proud

 **puppycat** wow chan i'm impressed

 **dino-saur** ;)

 **therock** can u clean our house

 **dino-saur** sure lol

 **mother** hahahha No! chan don't do it these children need to learn how to clean themselves

 **therock** mom pls

 **mother** hmm, maybe they should start learning now!

 **therock** mj pls

 **mother** better gets those rubber gloves out of the cabinet!

 **therock** MYUNGJUN HYUNG PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME

 **dkcountryreturns** welp guess i should leave ur apartment

 **minghoe** rip park minhyuk u will be missed

 **puppycat** no he won't

 

 

~

 

 

 **dad** Well, I do not suggest Captain Underpants if you want to see a movie in theaters.

 **woozi** they save the day with a uranus joke,,, A URANUS JOKE

 **woozi** THIS MOVIE IS FOR CHILDREN

 

 

~

 

 

 **puppycat** guys i love lesbians

 **puppycat** they are the Best type of human

 **jisooschrist** tbh same

 **chachawoo** bin what brought this

 **puppycat** u know how we ignited the gaypop revolution?

 **HOSH** my dude of course

 **HOSH** our bands are now known as the gayest kpop groups in history lol

 **therock** ik ur band is rly gay

 **jisooschrist** we are Gay

 **puppycat** well all these couple are really thankful for us allowing them to be open about their relationships, right? so they are sending dongmin and i gifts lol

 **chachawoo** rly? 

 **puppycat** ya our closet is getting rly full

 **hitthekwan** dude i wish i got presents for being rly gay

 **puppycat** so we're getting some pretty awesome stuf,,, but the lesbian couple are so Extra with this

 **puppycat** these presents are Insane

 **dad** Who is giving you things?

 **woozi** more like what are they giving u

 **woozi** if u having gotten at least 1 dildo i know ur lying

 **puppycat** JIHOON SHHSHHH 

 **goodgemini** ;) u and dongmin will be having a lot of fun won't u

 **puppycat** junhui shut ur face

 **chachawoo** /ANYWAY/

 **puppycat** amber and krystal sent us the largest edible arrangements bouquet i have ever seen in my life

 **therock**[[image]](https://resources.ediblearrangements.com/Resources/en-US/i/revamp_p/IncredibleEdible/IncredibleEdible_LandingPage_10.png) y'all it's this except like 4 feet wide

 **therock** u could feed like 200 ppl with this

 **mother** we should have a fan meet and give some fruit to fans

 **mother** bc we are /not/ eating all of that ourselves

 **angelface** can we come??

 **tallbeagle** PLS MOM IT CAN BE LIKE A HUGE SVT X ASTRO MEET UP

 **mother** y not

 **puppycat** LET ME CONTINUE ABOUT MY BEAUTIFUL LESBIAN PRESENTS

 **puppycat** nayoung and jieqiong sent us a cat

 **puppycat** AN ACTUAL KITTEN

 **puppycat** I NAMED THEM ELI

 **dkcountryreturns** awh u have a gender neutral cat

 **chachawoo** WE HAVE A CAT!??!?!

 **chachawoo** I'M LEAVING THE STUDIO NOW I MUST SEE OUR CHILD

 **puppycat** WE'RE NOW PARENTS

 **puppycat** CL isn't even with anybody she was just so proud of us that she gave us tickets for a vacation to NYC

 **puppycat** but like,,, /all/ of us

 **puppycat** somehow she knows how close we all are!?!?!?!

 **woozi** wait wtf

 **verdone** r u saying cl actually is funding us a trip to nyc

 **verdone** y'all i was born there

 **mother** omg

 **mother** OMG

 **father** HWAT HTHE FUCK 

 **dino-saur** you guys are iconic!!!

 **puppycat**!!!!! it's for next month and we will be there for a week!!!! in her letter she said she already checked in with our companies and they agreed as long as we have a little concert and film what we do!!!!!!!

 **HOSH** IF I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF THE WORLD FOUND OUT ABOUT US BEING GAY I WOULD'VE FUCKING MADE OUT WITH SEOKMIN ON OUR DEBUT STAGE

 **dkcountryreturns** ;))))

 **whatwoo** oh my osh

 **memegyu** GUYS I NEED TO LEARN ENGLISH

 **minghoe** i've been studying english!!! jisoo ur gonna have to help me!!!

 **jisooschrist** ofc minghao

 **angelface** jisoo dear you're going to have to teach all of his

 **father** lol us too

 **chachawoo** jinwoo and i can kind of speak english but in general astro sucks at english so we need help too!!

 **jisooschrist** ofc i can hold english time every thursday until we leave so y'all can get down the basics!?

 **angelface** shua bby ur the best i love u

 **dad** Thanks, Shua.

 **verdone** I CAN SPEAK ENGLISH TOO

 **verdone** I WAS BORN IN NYC FFS

 **jisooschrist** u can join me hansol

 **hitthekwan** yay hansol

 **verdone** good :))

 **puppycat** so momo and mina sent us socks

 **chachawoo** socks?

 **puppycat** yup

 **puppycat** 3 huge boxes of socks

 **puppycat** wait

 **puppycat** not just socks

 **puppycat** the socks are the equivalent to packing peanuts?

 **puppycat** they actually sent us,,, kitchenware?

 **dino-saur** lol what?

 **puppycat** well in one package, we have some plates, silverware, bowls, cups, the whole shebang

 **puppycat** in the next box,,, a french press?

 **mother** mmhm mornings are going to be so nice

 **puppycat** and in the third box

 **puppycat** cereal

 **minghoe** cereal?

 **dad** Just cereal?

 **puppycat** there are like 10 boxes of random cereal in here

 **whatwoo** lesbians can be so weird

 **memegyu** shh wonwoo the author is expressing her love for lesbian, bc she is in fact a lesbian, therefore she wants to make them sound interesting plus she likes kitchenware and cereal so that's why momo and mina have decided to be weird af and send binwoo kitchenware and cereal

 **tallbeagle** lol what

 **memegyu** what?

 **puppycat** yoojung and doyeon sent us like half a candy store

 **puppycat** what is even happening with my life anymore

 **puppycat** next thing we know,, dongmin and i will be on We Got Married

 

 

~

 

 

 **puppycat** what the fuck

 **puppycat** the producer of We Got Married but sent me a passive aggressive email saying that dongmin and i should've came out sooner so we could have been on the show before it ended

 **chachawoo** my life is so strange idek anymore

 **goodgemini** you guys are Iconic

 **jisooschrist** tbh the straights are shaking

 **minghoe** fear the gays

 **hitthekwan** FEAR THE GAYS

 

 

 

~

 

 

 **jisooschrist** speaking of married

 **jisooschrist** jeonghan we need to start planning our wedding

 **angelface** ur STILL SERIOUS ABOUT THIS!?!?!?!

 **angelface** BBY OF COURSE LETS PLAN THIS

 **angelface** doesn't one of us have to propose first??

 **jisooschrist** we'll worry about that later

 **jisooschrist** we obviously need to invite all of the participants of the gaypop revolution

 **goodgemini** y'all with be the first gaypop revolutionaries to get married

 **father** i thought the ppl who ignited the flame would be the one's to get married first

 **puppycat** JINWOO I AM 19 

 **puppycat** I LIKE JUST GOT OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL I'M NOT GOING TO GET MARRIED

 **puppycat** not saying i wouldn't love to spend the rest of my life with dongmin,,,

 **chachawoo** <333333 

 **puppycat** but wayyy too young dad

 **dad** Jeonghan, I'm your best man right?????????????

 **woozi** woah ok seungcheol try to be a bit more obvious huh

 **dad** I thought that was obvious enough?

 **woozi** sarcasm, cheol

 **angelface** cheollie ofc ur my best man,,, ur my best friend

 **memegyu** ooh awkward

 **whatwoo** leave it alone mingyu u house wrecker

 **verdone** jisoo who is ur best man gonna be??

 **jisooschrist** honestly idk,,, 

 **verdone** (ahem)

 **verdone** (cough cough)

 **verdone** (wink wonk)

 **verdone** oh hey i didn't see u there

 **jisooschrist** hansol do u want to be my best man

 **verdone** oh i'd LOVE to!!! thanks for asking!!!

 **hitthekwan** sol i love u to bits but that was the most pathetic thing i've ever witnessed

 **tallbeagle** yikes

 **mother** mhm hansol back at it again,,, getting 'yikes'-ed by sanha

 **verdone** :,) sanha y u gotta do me dirty like this

 **tallbeagle** :D <3

 **verdone** ok ur forgiven

 

 

~

 

 

 **mother** jinwoo can u give me a foot massage 

 **father** ew no u know i hate feet

 **mother** divorced

 **therock** I SWEAR TO GOS

 **therock** UR NOT MARRIED 

 **therock** AT LEAST GET MARRIED AND THEN START JOKING ABOUT DIVORCE

 **dino-saur** i never know y minhyuk gets to offended over this but it's honestly so funny thank u for the laughs buddy

 

 

~

 

 

 **woozi** tbh i miss jeonghan's long hair

 **tallbeagle** me too!! he looked so pretty!!

 **mother** *looks

 **mother** tbh jeonghan is generally just a pretty person

 **angelface** *blusheu* awh stop it

 **jisooschrist** u looked like a princess!! 

 **jisooschrist** and i was ur knight in shining armour awhh

 **angelface** oh heck no

 **angelface** sweety u are the princess

 **angelface** i am and always will be /YOUR/ knight in shining armour

 **jisooschrist** D:

 **angelface** sorry princess i don't make the rules <3

 **hitthekwan** breaking standards right there,, ladies and gentleman now u see it,,, jihan is Superior don't even try to fight me u can't deny 

 

 


	10. what a mess tbh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys sorry this is so short!!!! i've been really busy!! i'll also be gone for the weekend so next update may take a while but it'll be longer!!!!
> 
> lol enjoy this crazy ass chapter!!!!!
> 
> btw blackpink's comeback snatched my wig so hard,,, holy shit

**puppycat** guys

 **puppycat** what if we were all actuallyin a video game

 **puppycat** and there's a little teenager who's controlling everything we do

 **chachawoo** bin it's three am 

 **verdone** woah

 **memegyu** whoever's controlling us must be rly gay

 **mother** ur right

 **mother** no straight person would make literally every single one of us queer

 **jisooschrist** so is it like,,, a lesbian? or like a gay boi?,,, 

 **memegyu** it's totally a lesbian did you even hear about the gifts the lesbians gave binwoo

 **father** but it could be a gay boi bc we're all gay bois and the gifts was just trying to appreciate his homosexual sisters

 **chachawoo** y r u all up so early we have a meetup tomorrow

 **minghoe** it's totally a reverse dating sim

 **minghoe** instead of the characters dating the player, the player is the characters and has them date eachother

 **therock** this could start so many fandom wars

 **tallbeagle** they made me so fashionable!!!

 **dino-saur** omg sanha

 **dino-saur** they made us bffls

 **tallbeagle** awhhh you're right!??!?!?! <333

 **dino-saur** <3333

 **therock**!!!!!!!!!   >:00000 <333333

 **tallbeagle** don't worry minhyuk, we were obvi brought together by fate

 **whatwoo** or apparently a teenage lesbian

 **tallbeagle** FATE

 **tallbeagle** <33333333

 **therock** <3333333

 **angelface** awh modern romance <3

 **woozi** wtf

 **goodgemini** mhm she must be having the time of her life

 **goodgemini** i am so financially stable

 **whatwoo** like we actually have groceries that last an entire week is this heaven

 **mother** kudos to our player ur the main man

 **father** *woman

 **mother** ur the main (wo)man

 **dad** Guys my brain hurts from thinking about this too much.

 **hitthekwan** hansol has fell into the deepest existential crisis i have yet to encounter

 **hitthekwan** he hasn't blinked since bin suggested this

 **puppycat** lol sorry

 **chachawoo** DID EVERYONE DECIDE TO PULL AN ALL NIGHTER OR SOMETHING

 **minghoe** dongmin it's like 11 pm

 **chachawoo** MY CLOCK SAYS IT'S 4:39 AM

 **angelface** lol it's 10:39 pm dongmin

 **puppycat** bby i think your clock is wrong

 **chachawoo** so do u mean i slept all day

 **chachawoo** oops

 **minghoe** lmao cha eunwoo at his finest

 **chachawoo** ahh frick now my sleep schedule is fricked up

 **verdone** "fricked"

 **HOSH** YOU FRIKCING FRICKS

 **HOSH** WHEN WILL YOU LEARN,,, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN,,,

 **HOSH** THAT UR ACTIONS,,, HAVE CONSEQUENCES!?!/!!?!!?/1?!

 **memegyu** ahh,, the iconic sammyclassicsonicfan 

 **angelface** daddy

 **jisooschrist** jeonghan stfu

 **woozi** ah jisoo is jealous for a little angry nerd being more daddy than himself

 **dad** Jihoon STFU.

 **woozi** ouch

 **tallbeagle** hehe i love sammy

 **dino-saur** i heard he got bullied a lot :((((

 **dkcountryreturns** USYF

 **dkcountryreturns** HIS YOUTUBE WAS DELETED

 **mother** WHAT NO

 **goodgemini** is this the end of the world

 **whatwoo** oh wow hello depression

 **therock** SAMMY SUNBAENIM COME BACK MY LOVE

 **tallbeagle** D:

 **therock** it was just a josh,,,, i love you infinitely sanha

 **tallbeagle** :D

 **angelface** ugh goals

 **angelface** jisoo we better be cuter than them when we get married

 **jisooschrist** ok

 **father** goals

 

 

~

 

 

_**jisooschrist created a new chatroom** _

_**jisooschrist named chatroom ' yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '** _

_**jisooschrist added 17 users** _

 

 

 **jisooschrist** y'all i've decided i'm going to propose to jeonghan when we are in nyc

 **jisooschrist** i need y'all to help me

 **mother** OF COURSE I'LL HELP

 **dino-saur** yayyyy!!!!!!!

 **dad** As you are to be the husband of my best friend, I see it fit that I assist you in asking for his hand in marriage.

 **woozi** ,,,,,, yike

 **puppycat** at least you've discussed it and know he's gonna say yes!

 **memegyu** lol imagine if you proposed in like times square or something and sang to him and shit and then he said no

 **goodgemini** lol and it would be recorded too,,, fans would lose their shit

 **dkcountryreturns** u guys are awful ppl

 **minghoe** wen junhui???? idk her

 **goodgemini** bby it was a joke,, you know i support their marriage 100 percent

 **verdone** lol ya he does,, before jeonghan and jisoo got together he basically had a shrine towards their relationship

 **hitthekwan** no joke,, he used to send us relationship updates in a jihan chatroom

 **goodgemini** SHUT UR FUCK JOSHUA AND JEONGHAN WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT

 **jisooschrist** ohohoh?? ;)

 **father** ANYWAY jisoo i think singing would be a great thing to do bc both of our groups are pretty widely known kpop groups and there will def be fans to witness the proposal,, and it's very romantic

 **chachawoo** we could totally have a huge 19 person duit something and have u solo and woo ur man

 **minghoe** lol (eun)woo him

 **puppycat** lol

 **jisooschrist** singing sounds good,,,  should i bring my guitar???

 **woozi** sorry to break it to you but you can't propose on one knee and present jeonghan with a ring while simultaneously playing guitar,,,

 **jisooschrist** i can try!

 **dad** You would fail, Jisoo.

 **jisooschrist** :( but guitars are romantic

 **tallbeagle** i can play guitar!!!

 **jisooschrist**!!! :)

 **jisooschrist** idk how we are going to make u be lowkey while carrying around a guitar but we'll make it work!!!

 **mother** i think Times Square would be good as well

 **puppycat** ya a lot of people will be watching

 **memegyu** who bets jeonghan's gonna cry

 **HOSH** me

 **father** me

 **goodgemini** me too

 **verdone** wtf jisoo is going to be the one to cry

 **verdone** did u see him with your lie in april,,,, he cried for like 3 hours

 **verdone** he even cried the first episode bc the music was so beautiful

 **jisooschrist** IT WAS OK

 **jisooschrist** THE ANIME RUINED MY LIFE

 **woozi** ok crybaby less anime more marriage

 

 

**' OT19 '**

 

 

 **whatwoo** idgaf what any of u says but veggietales is some Good Shit

 **chachawoo** i have a stuffed toy of larry the cucumber

 **puppycat** AND I HAVE A STUFFED BOB THE TOMATO

 **puppycat** WE'RE SUCH COUPLE GOALS

 **dkcountryreturns** tbh veggietales is what taught me to be a decent human being

 **woozi** ew that shit is creepy asf

 **woozi** y would u wanna watch talking vegetables teach u the bible

 **mother** EXCUSE ME DON'T INSULT MY VEGETABLES

 **angelface** REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT'S RELIGIOUS OR NOT THE SONGS ARE BOPS AND IT TEACHES YOU LIFE MORAL WHICH HAVE HELPED ME GROW UP

 **verdone** tbh i've had too many veggietales sing a longs

 **hitthekwan** u know what i have cringey sing a longs to ???

 **hitthekwan** PHINEAS AND FERB

 **HOSH** GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

 **dad** I love that show.

 **dkcountryreturns** WhO DOEsnT

 **goodgemini** i don't

 **minghoe** we're done

 **minghoe** HOW CAN U NOT LIKE PHINEAS AND FERB

 **therock** ITS THE BEST SHOW EVER

 **father** the songs are so catchy

 **dino-saur** S I M P 

 **verdone** SQUIRRELS IN MY PANTS

 **jisooschrist** guys

 **jisooschrist** where's perry

 **woozi** it's not a party it's an intimate get together

 **puppycat** CANDACE PARTY

 **angelface** CANDACE PARTY

 **dad** This should be concerning because are basically all adult grown men freaking out about a show for elementary school students... but it isn't?

 **therock** my dude,,, p & f is for all ages shapes and sizes

 **tallbeagle** don't be ashamed !!!

 

 

 

~

 

 

 **verdone** PREPARE FOR TROUBLE

 **woozi** oh god

 **hitthekwan** AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

 **whatwoo** someone stop them

 **chachawoo** wait this seems entertaining

 **verdone** TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVESTATION

 **hitthekwan** TO UNITE ALL PEOPLES IN OUR NATION

 **verdone** TO DENOUNCE THE EVILS OF TRUTH AND LOVE

 **hitthekwan** TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO THE STARS ABOVE

 **verdone** VERNON

 **hitthekwan** SEUNGKWAN

 **verdone** VERKWAN, BLAST OFF AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT

 **hitthekwan** SURRENDER NOW OR PREPARE TO FIGHT

 **dino-saur** dINO

 **dino-saur** THAT'S RIGHT

 **goodgemini** no chan don't support these losers

 **verdone** WONWOO

 **hitthekwan** MINGYU 

 **memegyu** lol what 

 **whatwoo** guys no 

 **hitthekwan** DON'T STRUGGLE YOU PEASANTS

 **verdone** IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET THINGS STRAIGHT

 **verdone** WELL,,, IN THIS CASE,,,

 **verdone** IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GET THINGS GAY

 **hitthekwan** IT'S BEEN LIKE 4 YEARS SINCE WE MET

 **hitthekwan** U TWO KEEP SKRT SKRTING AROUND EACH OTHER

 **minghoe** it's true

 **minghoe** even verkwan confessed

 **HOSH** my dudes,, verkwan was almost as bad as u two

 **whatwoo** y r u doing this now

 **memegyu** astro,,, my friend,,, help a pal in need

 **tallbeagle** mingyu hyung the only thing u need is wonwoo's dick

 **memegyu** iSHDsbkjASN

 **mother** BAHBSHA NO CHORES FOR U BBY U DESERVE A NIGHT FREE FOR THAT

 **puppycat** i wanna be mad for that but that was so good im

 **dkcountryreturns** bHAHA mingyu get rekt

 **whatwoo** but mingyu and i r just friends

 **jisooschrist** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

 **jisooschrist** ahem

 **jisooschrist** sorry

 **jisooschrist** but BULLSHIT

 **memegyu**?????

 **memegyu** boi last time i checked friends don't sleep together (literally and sexually) and hold hands and stuff

 **memegyu** if u would just ask we'd be bfs and not change a thing

 **father** u guys aren't actually dating??

 **mother** no sweety, wonwoo's just emotionally constipated and is making mingyu suffer through some weird attempted friends with benefits kinda shit

 **whatwoo** myungjun ur words r so kind 

 **mother** <3

 **verdone** SO CITIZENS OF THIS CHATROOM

 **hitthekwan** PLAN A WILL OFFICIALLY BE PUT INTO ACTION IN 3

 **memegyu** wait what

 **verdone** 2

 **whatwoo**?

 **hitthekwan** 1 

 

 

_**17 users have left ' OT19 "** _

 

 

 **memegyu** welp

 **whatwoo** yo i know how to solve this

 **memegyu** ye?

 **whatwoo** mingyu do u wanna be my boyfriend

 **memegyu** of course <3

 **whatwoo** ok <3

 

 

**_whatwoo added 17 users to ' OT19 '_ **

 

 

 **whatwoo** guys meet my boyfriend mingyu

 **hitthekwan** SUCCESS

 **verdone** GOOD TEAMWORK Y'ALL

 **HOSH** so what'd u guys talk about ;))))) anything spicy/??

 **memegyu** o ya it was the kinkiest minute of my life

 **father** congrats on gettig together

 **dad** Even though they've basically been dating since they met....

 **mother** ah~~ young love

 **tallbeagle** myungjun hyung ur like 2 years older than them wtf

 **mother** /YOUNG LOVE/

 

 

~

 

 

_**angelface created a new chatroom** _

_**angelface named chatroom ' bling bling wedding ring '** _

_**angelface added 17 users** _

 

 

 **angelface** OKAY

 **angelface** I'VE DECIDED THAT WHEN WE GO ON VACA TO NYC, I'M GOING TO ASK MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND TO BE MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND

 **hitthekwan** oh shit

 **dad** Of course, Jeonghan. That sounds like a great idea!

 **goodgemini** a great, original, unique, unfamiliar, interesting idea!!!

 **mother** i love romance lol

 **mother** *sips wedding tea*

 **angelface** you guys have to help me make this the best wedding proposal the gay world has ever seen!

 **therock** u should sing

 **memegyu** we should all sing

 **tallbeagle** i'll play guitar!!

 **angelface** good idea!! i wonder how we'll make an acoustic guitar look less suspicious,,,,

 **HOSH** heh i guess we'll figure it out when the date comes sooner!!

 **angelface** yes we will!!~~

 

 

_**mother created a new chatroom** _

_**mother named chatroom ' y does jihan do this to us '** _

_**mother added 16 users** _

 

 

 **mother** i don't want to be pessimistic but y'all we're screwed

 **dad** Yup.

 **dino-saur** let's pray to the gay gods or the lesbian controlling us or whoever that this goes well!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 


	11. yes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what even is this tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls for the first part,,, i personally am not hating on chansoo!! i actually ship them a lot- even though chanbaek is my ult! i was desperate for some controversy between my fave parent couple so therefore the chanbaek vs. chansoo fight was born! i respect all ships and the people who like those ships!! ps. pls don't hate on people or ships just because you don't like them!! it is mean and rude and people should just be kind to each other! pls and thank u
> 
> also i just got back from my lakehouse which doesn't have wifi and that's why i couldn't upload sooner! so here u go! more stress and gay faves!
> 
> AND HAPPY 500 DAYS WITH CARATS & SVT I LOVE MY BOIS AND I HOPE THEY CONTINUE TO GROW AND BE SUCCESSFUL!!

**mother** ok who do y'all recommend for divorce lawyers

 **therock**!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 **woozi** pretty sure cheol wanted to be a lawyer before we become idols

 **dad** Why would you need a lawyer?

 **mother** y else

 **mother** i'm divorcing jinwoo

 **therock** i am leaving this family i can't take this

 **minghoe** minhyuk do u need help

 **chachawoo** what did he do this time

 **father** i didn't do anything!!!

 **mother** boi

 **mother** u did everything

 **father** but

 **mother** no don't talk to me

 **whatwoo**???

 **dino-saur** lol what did jinjin hyung do this time?

 **mother** oh god let me tell you

 **mother** he left his laptop open when he went to shower yeah?

 **mother** so i go over and look to see what he was doing,,, 

 **mother** he was writing fanfiction

 **verdone** that's not that bad

 **memegyu** tbh we all write it

 **mother** exo fanfiction

 **puppycat** wait

 **puppycat** no pls

 **dkcountryreturns** i like exo fanfics?

 **tallbeagle** oh,, we do too!! it's just,,,

 **mother** ,,,,,, he was writing chansoo

 **mother** IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD

 **father** excuse me chansoo is beautiful

 **mother** DIVORCE

 **mother** DIVORCE I TELL YOU

 **therock** ok

 **therock** usually i'd be pissed about the divorce,, but

 **therock** this situation is an exception,, i'll be mad next time jinwoo is annoying enough for his unhusband to want divorce,,

 **angelface** have you even seen chanbaek!?!?!?!??!

 **mother** IN THIS HOUSE WE ONLY SHIP CHANBAEK

 **father** myungjun surely not everyone here ships chanbaek

 **mother** IF YOU SHIP CHANBAEK SAY I

 **tallbeagle** i!

 **therock** i

 **dad** I.

 **HOSH** i

 **chachawoo** I

 **hitthekwan** i

 **jisooschrist** i

 **goodgemini** i

 **woozi** i

 **memegyu** i

 **puppycat** i

 **angelface** i

 **minghoe** i

 **dkcountryreturns** i

 **verdone**  i

 **dino-saur**  i!!

 **whatwoo** i

 **father** well

 **father** i stand corrected

 **father** this is awkward

 **father** but guys,,, can't u respect that i ship chanyeol w someone else

 **mother** no

 **tallbeagle** :(( myungjun hyung

 **angelface** mj pal,,,

 **HOSH** how about polyamory!! chanbaeksoo!!

 **jisooschrist** no

 **dad** No.

 **angelface** nope

 **HOSH** geez okay then

 **chachawoo** my jihancheol feels just got stepped one

 **mother** but,,, chanyeol luvs baekhyun

 **father** chanyeol can also luv kyungsoo

 **puppycat** chanbaek sent me signed merch after gaypop 2k17

 **father** shh don't rub it in my face that they're actually together

 **father** my fanfics are the only thing keeping my ship floating

 **mother** then let it sink bitch

 **dino-saur** hyung chill out

 **mother** i'm sorry

 **mother** u can ship whatever u want

 **mother** i still love you

 **father** i love you too

 **mother** not as much as chanbaek tho

 **father** on second thought

 **mother** anyway the divorce is off for now... i need to be stronger... my mother told me marriage was hard

 **therock** ur not married but whatever

 **therock** i'm over it

 

 

~

 

 

 **jisooschrist** listen up losers

 **jisooschrist** what would your american names be

 **jisooschrist** i need to know this

 **jisooschrist** it's for science

 **verdone** vernon

 **hitthekwan** gtfo u noob

 **hittekwan** i think i'd be quin

 **hitthekwan** bc quin kind of sounds like kwan

 **puppycat** mmhm very nice

 **HOSH** ,, aju nice

 **therock** can eunwoo be eugine

 **chachawoo** no

 **jisooschrist** yes

 **chachawoo** gdi i can't argue with jisoo

 **jisooschrist** call me joshua for rn

 **jisooschrist** we are all becomig american 

 

**_jisooschrist changed their username to ' josh '_ **

**_jisooschrist changed verdone's username to ' vernon '_ **

**_jisooschrist changed hitthekwan's username to ' quin '_ **

**_jisooschrist changed chachawoo's username to ' eugene '_ **

 

 

 **eugene** i don't support this

 **josh** ok who else

 **josh** cmon losers u choose or i do it for you

 **HOSH** i'll be sal

 **quin** ,,,, y tho it doesn't sound like hoshi or soonyoung

 **HOSH** it starts with an s

 **josh** sounds good enough for me

 

_**josh changed HOSH's username to ' sal '** _

 

 **sal** i like it

 **memegyu** i will be matthew

 **josh** malcolm it is

 **memegyu** what 

 

_**josh changed memegyu's username to ' malcolm '** _

 

 **malcolm** but matthew

 **eugene** welcome to the life pal

 **eugene** we sound like the typical white nerds who get stuffed into dumpsters after school

 **malcolm** ://

 **whatwoo** there are barely any american names that start with w i think i'm fine

 

**_josh changed whatwoo's username to ' william '_ **

 

 **william** gdi

 **josh** it's been like 10 minutes it's time to bring matters into our own hands

 

_**josh changed mother's username to ' matthew '** _

_**josh changed father's username to ' jonathan '** _

_**josh changed minghoe's username to ' melvin '** _

 

 **malcolm** joshua wtf why does myungjun get to be matthew

 **josh** u drank the rest of the milk and then put to empty carton back into the fridge

 **malcolm** malcolm is really the best name josh thx for giving it to me i love it

 **eugene** joshua what about me what did i do wrong

 **josh** i just rly like the name eugene tbh

 **vernon** lol

 **eugene** shh vernon is just as bad

 **vernon** but it's my real name

 **eugene** i know

 **quin** o shit roasted

 **vernon** ur my boyf aren't u supposed to stand up for me

 **quin** oops sorry babe

 **quin** hey eugene that was a no no

 **eugene** sorry

 

_**josh changed tallbeagle's username to ' sammy '** _

_**josh changed goodgemini's username to ' jerry '** _

_**josh changed woozi's username to ' waldo '** _

_**josh changed dkcountryreturns's username to ' sherwood '** _

_**josh changed puppycat's username to ' bob '** _

 

 **sal** hahhahaha bob

 **quin** moon bob lolololol

 

**_josh changed dad's username to ' sigmund '_ **

 

 **william** ok these are just gettig weird

 **malcolm** lololol sigmund

 **vernon** waldo is gonna kick ur ass u know that

 **vernon** are not even basing it on his birthname

 **quin** hey,,,, where is waldo??

 

_**josh changed therock's username to ' dwayne '** _

 

 **josh** i really couldn't help it with that one i'm sorry

 **eugene** i can respect that

 

_**josh changed dino-saur's username to ' chad '** _

_**josh changed angelface's username to ' jamison '** _

 

 **josh** lol done

 **josh** now it's just like back home!!

 **quin** hyung i don't think there were actually people named sigmund, waldo, or sherwood 

 **josh** it's the thought that counts

 **eugene** is it tho??

 

 

~

 

 

 **bob** hey guys what's up

 **bob** wait

 **bob** y am i named bob

 **dwayne** lololol bob

 **dwayne** wait 

 **dwayne** who tf is dwayne

 **sal** like dwayne the rock johnson

 **dwayne** who are u

 **sal** i'm sal

 **sigmund** What is happening?

 **sigmund**... Sigmund, really?

 **josh** lolol 

 **jamison** lol good one baby

 **jamison** wait

 **jamison** wher e in hell did u get jamison

 **malcolm** the author literally just looked up american names that start with the letter of our names bc she's unoriginal and can't think of anything this late at night

 **william** what

 **malcolm** what?

 **chad** ah the 'm' and the random 4th wall breaking,,, u must be mingyu

 **malcolm** hello maknae

 **chad** lol my name is easy it's only one letter off

 **eugene** lucky u

 **dwayne** lol eugene

 **bob** don't worry babe i don't think eugene is that bad

 **eugene** really?

 **bob** no it's pretty bad but i love u anyway

 **sherwood** this is so sonfusing

 **sherwood** sherwood!?!?!??!

 **sal** it starts with an s

 **sal** seokmin has s and so does sherwood

 **sherwood** thanks babe thatreally helped

 **sammy** hello!! i likke your names!

 **jamison** i got motherly tingles that must be sanha

 **jamison** hello dear

 **sammy** hello! :D

 **melvin** i'm so uncomfortable

 **jerry** i kind of like it

 **melvin** shut up jerry

 **matthew** i just made lunch who's hungry

 **matthew** wait

 **matthew** is this some alternate universe where i live in america

 **jonathon** no myungjun jisoo just changed all our names

 **josh** JOSH

 **quin** wait y did we do this again?

 **josh** idk i was homesick

 **josh** so i changed ppls names so they're more american

 **vernon** except me

 **josh** whatever

 **vernon** don't be rude to your best man

 **jerry** shut up vernon 

 **vernon** how bout u shut up jerry

 **melvin** ya shut up jerry

 **jerry** i'm being attacked

 

 

~

 

 

 **waldo** why the fuck is my name waldo

 **chad** lol we found waldo!

 

 

~

 

 

 **sammy** i want to change names now!!

 

_**sammy returned 19 username's to last saved name change** _

 

 **woozi** thank god

 **woozi** seungcheol actually forced me into waldo cosplay

 **dad** You were adorable!

 **woozi** u better watch it >:*

 **puppycat** was that an angry kiss

 **woozi** yes

 **tallbeagle** awh >:* 

 

 

**~**

 

 

**' bling bling wedding ring '**

 

 **angelface** guys i bought a ring!!

 **dino-saur** i wanna see it!! 

 **angelface**[[image]](https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvIeoeUX7cGKVq6VS6XvyAtW5Z19asi2-1WgkUrBnoye-yqcvA_GFQsHpPUPiSjD2bfES1-H8&usqp=CAE) here!! i was gonna do a band but i didn't want it to be mistaken with our band rings

 **therock** how much was it?

 **mother** minhyuk don't ask things like that!

 **mother** ,,,, but i'm interested ,,,,

 **angelface** don't worry lol

 **angelface** when jisoo and i discussed i suggested the 500-2000 dollar range

 **angelface** this is $1,076 

 **hitthekwan** awhhhh and it's so pretty 

 **dad** Good choice, I think Jisoo will love it!

 **angelface** he better !!

 **angelface** but we're leaving for nyc in a week and i'm almost all ready!!

 **memegyu** i'm kinda nervous 

 **angelface** don't be! u have no reason to :000

 **memegyu** yup lol no reason at all

 

 

~

 

 

**' OT19 '**

 

 

 **puppycat** i want leo from vixx to step on me

 **puppycat** seriously every time i hear his high note in beautiful liar i want him to personally lower me into my grave

 **goodgemini** i want to kinkshame but honestly same

 **angelface** he's the kindof person who you just to cuddle and protect 

 **whatwoo** he's super shy but super nice

 **therock** you've met him haven't you

 **whatwoo** yes

 **verdone** how do you even have the time to meet all these idols

 **whatwoo** idk

 **verdone** great answer

 **whatwoo** sorry idek i just meet them

 **whatwoo** like i've been friends with heechul from suju since i was a lad

 **memegyu** "since i was a lad"

 **memegyu** ever since me mum left me, i've been scouring the pavement for barmy arseholes 

 **whatwoo** u know what mingyu

 **memegyu** <3 

 **whatwoo** ur lucky i love u

 **whatwoo** also i apologize to all european readers on mingyu's behalf

 **father** ohohoho what's this?

 **HOSH** wonwoo breaking the 4th wall?

 **jisooschrist** god enough of the 4th wall breaking 

 **jisooschrist** it brings me closer to an existential crisis every time

 **memegyu** suffer 

 **jisooschrist** D:

 

 

~

 

 

**' yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '**

 

 **jisooschrist** guys

 **jisooschrist** i bought a ring

 **verdone** ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **dkcountryreturns** i'm developing a cold sweat

 **jisooschrist** um hopefully a good cold sweat  !!!!!

 **dkcountryreturns** hehe yup it's because i'm so excited to see u propose !!!!!!!

 **minghoe** hyung let's see the ring

 **jisooschrist** of course!! [[image]](https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcRfWou8pAarTaZz03DvvfZEE8zOqESCmT2UVswFNJRZwFFMDw-Urcjl4y8K0YnLXmPwOfOh17Y&usqp=CAY)

 **mother** oh my god

 **jisooschrist** pretty huh!?

 

 

**' y does jihan do this to us '**

 

 **mother** GUYS WHY DO THE RINGS LOOK ALMOST IDENTICAL

 **HOSH** I'M STARTING TO FREAK OUT

 

 

**'yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '**

 

 **goodgemini** ya dude it's gorgeous 

 **woozi** how much did you pay for it?

 **jisooschrist** ah ah ahah ahah a

 **jisooschrist** ,,,, $8,841.00 

 **father** myungjun just fainted

 **jisooschrist** ya i know it's a lot of money but i rly love jeonghan so ?!?!?!??!

 

 

**' y does jihan do this to us '**

 

 **chachawoo** um the ring jisoo bought is literally 7 thousand dollars more expensive than the ring jeonghan bought for him

 **tallbeagle** THIS IS KIND OF STRESSFUL

 **dkcountryreturns** IT'S A LOT STRESSFUL

 **father** ok guys let's just calm down

 

 

**' yo yo yo proposal nyc 2k17 '**

 

 **jisooschrist** i'm thinking of seeing if i can get our company to let us vlive the whole thing (preparations and all) so all the fans can feel like they're a part of it

 

 

**' bling bling wedding ring '**

 

 **angelface** we should totally broadcast the proposal so the world can see it!?!??! maybe we can put it on the jumbo screens in the middle of the city where everyone can see as well?!?!?!

 

 

**' y does jihan do this to us '**

 

 **father** OKAY ON SECOND THOUGHT LET'S FREAK OUT

 **whatwoo** oh god what is happening this is a mess

 **dad** I think my hair is rapidly greying...

 **chachawoo** i need some air

 **hitthekwan** THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

 **puppycat** WE'RE LEAVING IN TWO DAYS GUYS WE CAN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING

 **goodgemini** we aren't even at the wedding planning yet

 **dino-saur** ahhAHHhAHHhhHhHH

 **verdone** i'm gonna kermit

 **father** myungjun came back to consciousness and then fainted again seeing that they both want to broadcast this mess of a proposal

 **memegyu** give him some juice or something

 **father** good idea

 **memegyu** thanks

 **minghoe** guys at least we're going on vacation!!

 **woozi** if his whole situation doesn't kill us first 

 **dino-saur** rip svt-stro 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. this is stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> woahohoho it's nyc time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this took a while!! i'm in vacation mode rn and doing a bunch of random stuff!!
> 
> this chapter is a bit longer, so hopefully that makes up for it!! also i did something a little different later in the chapter that u may or may not like but i'm probably not doing it again bc it's kind of bad but it was needed for the plot!!
> 
> anyway jihan angst (?) comes to a close here, and more random gay shit!!
> 
> i hope u all enjoy! this chapter was hard to put together so hopefully u don't hate it bc that would make me sad :(

**father** ok

**father** i have watched every single episode of fantastic duo that has ever aired

**father** i think every duo i've shed a tear

**dkcountryreturns** BOI

**dkcountryreturns** I LOVE THAT SHOW

**father** WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE DUO

**father** TAEYANG AND HIS GIRL LITERALLY BLEW MY SOCKS OFF

**dkcountryreturns** KIM BUM SOO AND KIM DA MI

**dkcountryreturns** DA MI'S VOICE WITH SOO'S MADE ME CRY

**jisooschrist** *rolls up sleeves*

**jisooschrist** LEE MOON SAE AND KIM YOON HEE

**jisooschrist** THAT 15 YR OLD GIRLS VOICE WITH LEGEND MOONSAE ACTUALLY DECEASED ME AND THEN RECEASED ME

**jisooschrist** NO ONE CAN TELL ME THEY DIDN'T DESERVE TO WIN

**angelface** bby,, didn't u hear that wonwoo and i are attended that 

**therock** pardon 

**whatwoo** ya we were filming it like last week bc we're leaving for nyc today

**puppycat** YES NYC BUT MORE IMPORTANT

**puppycat**!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**puppycat** I'M GONNA CRY I LOVE FANTASTIC DUO I'M GOFN

**angelface** chen and jisoo and lisa are also participating

**hitthekwan** I'M CRYING IN THE CLUB

**mother** if i record myself on the app singing with y'all do u think they'll chose me

**mother** kyuhyun from super junior actually tried to get picked for lee sunhee

**goodgemini** BOI HER DUO WITH THE YEJIN GIRL WAS SO FUCKGN GOOD

**jisooschrist** can i try and sing with jisoo and lisa

**jisooschrist** jisoo and i should make a duo tbh

**jisooschrist** we can be jisoo2

**jisoochrist** 2j

**jisooschrist** soosoo

**jisooschrist** jiji

**woozi** how about Stop

**tallbeagle** why would their duo name be called Stop?

**verdone** PRECIOUS HUMAN

**dad** Sanha, Jihoon was just being rude, ignore that.

**woozi** -.- watch it pal

**dad** I am watching.

**minghoe** ouch

**dino-saur** parent set number 1, pls don't fight

**dino-saur** its stresses me out

**woozi** THAN BE STRESSED

**HOSH** woah

**HOSH** who pissed in ur cheerios this morning

**woozi** idk who ATE my cheerios this morning?????

**woozi** AND LEFT THE FUCKING BOX IN THE FUCKING CABINET

**woozi** WHAT KIND OF EVIL PERSON ARE YOU

**woozi** MY DAY IS RUINED

**verdone** ,,,

**verdone** those were yours?

**woozi** HANSOL VERNON CHWE

**verdone** /shit/

**therock** my dude i'm not there rn but i suggest u run

**mother** i can feel jihoon's anger through me cell phone

**hitthekwan** hansol just skrt skrted out of here so fast

**memegyu** HE JUST LEFT THE APARTMENT

**dino-saur** JIHOONIE HYUNG FOLLOWED HIM

**HOSH** ONE MINUTE LET ME GET THE CAMERA THIS WILL BE SO GOOD ON OUR VLIVE CHANNEL

**HOSH** WE BETTER RUN IF WE WANT TO CATCH THIS ON FILM

**minghoe** more like u better run if u wanna save hansol's sorry ass

**verdone** PLS HELP ME

**verdone** I'M HIDING BEHIND SOME HOT CHEETOS IN THE DRUG STORE

**woozi** THERE U ARE U GREMLIN

**verdone** shit

**HOSH** wait

**HOSH** did i hear hot cheetos

**HOSH** hansol ur safety can wait

**dkcountryreturns** i love seeing where soonyoung's loyalties lie

**HOSH** u and hot cheetos are all i need in life babe

**dkcountryreturns** <3

**mother** that was nice

**mother** soonseok interactions have been kind of Dry lately

**dkcountryreturns** oops

**dkcountryreturns** we've been busy doing other things other than flirting over text ;)

**mother** oh hoh hoh ;)))

**dad** Meaning they've been playing Overwatch and crying over Drama OST's.

**dkcountryreturns** y u gotta do me like this seungcheol hyung

**mother** still sounds fun ;)))

**puppycat** mj's winky face's always creep me out

**mother** Do You Wanna Fight Me Moon Bin

**puppycat** no i do not kim myungjun

**mother** THEN KEEP UR OPINIONS TO URSELF

**puppycat**  ok

**mother**  u can't see me but i'm glaring at u

**goodgemini**  tbh whenever i try to type out myungjun, i accidently type myungjin

**father** goals

**minghoe** it's because he writes too much astro fanfiction

**goodgemini** XU MINGHAO I'M GONNA BEAT UR ASS

**therock** kinky

**goodgemini** AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY

**goodgemini** (although everything i do is sexy)

**tallbeagle** can i read ur fanfics!?!?!? :D

**minghoe** dude i can send u the links

**goodgemini** No You Will Not

**angelface** wait what ships do u write

**goodgemini** ,,,, all the canon couples obviously who do u take me for

**angelface** tbh i've probably read them

**angelface** i've read every fic on the astro ao3 tag

**whatwoo** same

**chachawoo** same

**goodgemini** DONGMIN NO U HAVEN'T

**chachawoo** lol,,, every single one

**chachawoo** even if i'm shipped with sanha or binnie with minhyuk

**chachawoo** aroha's are really talented and i don't want to let that go to waste

**goodgemini** IM SWETTIGN

**goodgemini** I CANR'GSF

**minghoe** his username is sockymeinthejaw

**therock** BAHHAHSHAHAHSHA

**father** cute

**chachawoo** wait

**chachawoo** junhui all ur fics have like the most kudos

**chachawoo** wait

**chachawoo** junhui

**goodgemini** DON'T SAY IT

**goodgemini** PLEASE SPARE MY PRIDE

**mother** GIRL TELL ME PLS

**mother** I NEED MORE BLACKMAIL MATERIAL ON U GUYS

**minghoe** o hoe he gon do it

**dad** Junhui, you better not be doing anything rude to them.

**chachawoo** jun writes the KINKIEST shit

**chachawoo** his writing flusters the fuck out of me

**chachawoo** like i thought bin was pretty kinky but hell no

**goodgemini** ITS NOT THAT KINKY

**chachawoo** ,,,,

**chachawoo** "myungjun whined as jinwoo pulled away. the loss of contact was almost unbearable for the older man, who was panted and squirming like a dog in heat. jinwoo smirked as he saw myungjun's whole naked body flush a lovely shade of pink. The ropes that were intricately knotted around his lover turned and pulled at his limbs in all the right ways. 'what's the safe word babe' the younger man mumbled as he pulled a blindfold from the bedside table. It took a minute for myungjun to respond, as he was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of lust and need corrupting his body. Once he had comprehended what jinwoo had just asked him, he muttered quietly 'aroha'"

**mother** dude if only jinwoo was that kinky

**mother** he's kinda vanilla

**father** I AM NOT VANILLA

**angelface** i am slightly concerned that u wrote their safeword as the name they call their fans

**puppycat** i am slightly turned on slightly disturbed

**goodgemini** DONGMIN Y

**chachawoo** this isn't even the good stuff

**chachawoo** i held back bc chan and sanha are Children

**tallbeagle** thanks hyung!

**dino-saur** wait send me the link though i wanna read it

**goodgemini** NO

**angelface** NO

**dad** NO

**memegyu** also the author felt uncomfortable writing what was up above,,, she wouldn't be able to actually write smut also she is underage and has the overwhelming fear that her friends and family are just gonna find this fic so she's not going to write smut 

**chachawoo** what

**memegyu** what?

**jisooschrist** do u write svt fanfiction

**goodgemini** no

**minghoe** yes

**minghoe** but it's on his other account: vernonseyebrows

**verdone** okay y tho

**minghoe** the jicheol fics are my favorite

**minghoe** verkwan coming in at a close second, tied with jihan fics

**minghoe** jihancheol hybrid fics hitting the 4th place bc those are my Guilty Pleasure

**goodgemini**  DON'T READ THEM

**goodgemini** PLS SPARE ME

**goodgemini** WHERE'D ALL OF U GO

**goodgemini** OH GOD UR READING THEM AREN'T YOU

**goodgemini** I'M RUNNING AWAY

**goodgemini** I CAN'T EVEN LOOK ANY OF YOU IN THE EYES ANYMORE

**goodgemini** I'M GOING TO GO BECOME THE 10th MEMBER OF TWICE GOOD BYE

**goodgemini** NAYEON NOONA I'M COMING 

 

 

~

 

 

**mother** guys junhui's fics are actually good

**whatwoo** tbh he could write a book and i'd read it

**memegyu** what a praise from wonwoo

**woozi** he could make some serious bank writing porn

**goodgemini** sTOp IT

 

 

~

 

 

**tallbeagle**.... my innocence is gone

**goodgemini** GOD SANHA NO

**mother** SANHA MY CHILD

**angelface** JUNHUI YOU'VE CORRUPTED HIM

**therock** dude thanks now things can get interesting

**tallbeagle** IT'S NOT THAT FAR GONE MINHYUK

**father** MINHYUK STAY AWAY FROM SANHA

**mother** B A D INFLUENCE

**HOSH** park minhyuk u spicy minx

**dino-saur** honestly not the worst stuff i've read

**dino-saur** could be kinkier

**goodgemini** 1>??/*@#*1>@>!

 

 

~

 

 

**memegyu**[[image]](http://imgur.com/lIFHoBu) binwoo explain

**chachawoo** oops

**puppycat** ;)

**hitthekwan** there is no heterosexual explanation 

**memegyu** that is truly pretty Gay

**jisooschrist** @ sanha in the back same

**tallbeagle** hehe 

**tallbeagle** idk i like it when binwoo kiss

**tallbeagle** it's like a drama

**woozi** u think now that like half the kpop industry is gay they'll start making dramas gay

**HOSH** BOI THEY SHOULD MAKE A DRAMA BASED OFF BINWOO'S RELATIONSHIP THAT SPARKED GAYPOP

**therock** SOMEONE WRITE IT

**minghoe** have junhui do it

**mother** JUNHUI WRITE THE SCRIPT FOR A BL DRAMA

**dad** TBH I would watch it.

**hitthekwan** WHO WOULDN'T

**goodgemini** Y'ALL ENOUGH ABOUT THE WRITING I'M SO EMBARRASED

**dkcountryreturns** no we can't stop,,, ur badboy x nerd fics are so cliche but so good

 

 

~

 

 

**hitthekwan** I LOVE NEW YORK

**hitthekwan** IT'S SO BIG AND LOUD

**hitthekwan** AND GAY PEEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE

**angelface** we're going to visit time square tonight, right?

**jisooschrist** yes we have to go

**whatwoo** yes, but that's not for a few hours

**whatwoo** i need to hit up the giant barnes & noble asap

**whatwoo** mingyu ur coming with me

**memegyu** yes sir

**minghoe** i'm going to stalk the theaters on broadway with chan and sanha

**chachawoo** bin and i are going to the giant toys r us and riding the on the ferris wheel if anyone wants to joing

**woozi** YO SEUNGCHEOL AND I WILL BE RIGHT OVER

**verdone** seungkwan and i are going to get some pizza and then meet up with my random friends from when i was 4 yrs old

**hitthekwan** i'm only doing it for the pizza

**HOSH** ur a brave man boo seungkwan

**dkcountryreturns** soonyoung and i are going to dance in the middle of the sidewalk and see if anyone will put money in a hat

**angelface** try not to get kidnapped by fangirls

**jisooschrist** (or fanboys)

**HOSH** we will ;)

**father** myungjun and i are taking minhyuk out for burgers

**therock** sanha why did u have to leave me :,(

**tallbeagle** i wanna see the cast of dear evan hanson sorry hyukie

**tallbeagle** we'll hang out for the rest of the week!!

**therock** okay :,)

 

 

**~**

 

 

**' yo yo yo nyc proposal 2k17 '**

 

**jisooschrist** todAY Is THE dAy

 

 

 

**' bling bling wedding ring '**

 

**angelface** TODAY IS THE DAY I GET MY FIANCE

**angelface** I'M GONNA HAVE TO NOT BE SOBER FOR THIS

 

 

_**'** _ **y does jihan do this to us '**

 

**dad** The dreaded day.

**memegyu** only an hour left

**father** until mayhem will ensue

**verdone** guys we are gonna have to split up

**verdone** half of us sing with jeonghan, half with jisoo

**puppycat** this is gonna be a mess no matter what

**tallbeagle** it's okay guys!! we can do it!!

**dino-saur** whoop whoop

**mother** i need caffeine so i don't pass out from stress

**HOSH** i'm already sweating and y'all k now how much i sweat

**dkcountryreturns** it's okay babe i still love u <3

**HOSH** <3

**woozi** ew sweat

**HOSH** I WILL FIGHT U So HARD

**woozi** see you in court sweaty :)

 

 

~

 

 

**' OT19 '**

 

**angelface** OK TIMES SQUARE TIME WHOOP WHOOP

**jisooschrist** LETS GO LETS GO LETS GO

**dad** Guys, chill. Let's us get dressed.

**jisooschrist** sorrrry im alittle anxious

**angelface** me too metoo

**mother** we'll meet u guys in the hotel lobby

 

 

**' y does jihan do this to us '**

 

**mother** good luck guys, we're gonna need it

 

 

~

 

 

   Times Square was busy this particular Saturday afternoon. Camps on field trips had teenagers roaming around the city, mouths and eyes wide open in awe. Business men and women shuffled across the busy streets, stone faced and most likely talking on the phone. Small children joyfully played around with the many costumed characters, as their parents groaned, knowing that these people would ask for money when their son or daughter pleaded for a picture. When a group of 19 young asian men entered, not a lot of people noticed. Some young teenagers stared, but all the men were surprising attractive; what are the odds that so many good looking people could all be together at once?

   Once the camera crew (although small) came out and the boys looked like they were starting something, the people on the streets started to notice them more. They were confused, these boys were speaking in their native tongue, and no one could make out the jumbled korean spilling from them. A tall boy with pastel hair took out his guitar, and began tuning. Everyone other than two young men split into half, facing each other. The forming crowd could tell that the group was nervous, but they ignored that in anticipation of what was to come. Once the instrument was tuned, the boy shakely counted off before strumming a tune only few people in the crowd would recognize.

  The two men who did not separate earlier both stood forward at the same time the song started and began to sing. It was obvious neither expected the other to do the same, but they were trained enough to continue through their surprise and confusion. Their voices complimented each other beautifully, and although it wasn't rehearsed before, they distributed the lines fairly. In the background, the rest of the group sang backup and brought the whole show together very nicely. The crowd has doubled since it began, and some young girls and boys with cellphones were even singing along. Although most did not understand the lyrics, they could feel the raw emotion coming from the main vocalists' voices. It made the crowd almost swoon, the amount of love that was spread through the song was palpable. 

  The background singers were clearly surprised, even relieved as they sang and saw how well their impromptu performance was going. A shorter man paused his singing to blow loudly in a tissue and wipe away stray tears before he continued to sing. As the song came to a close both of the men got down onto one knee. The crowd knew where this was going, so they began to clap and cheer as the two men both brought out similar looking boxes from their pockets. The background singers continued to softly hum the melody of the song as the two men gaped at the other's identical actions. The taller blond began talking first, although choked up from the overwhelming emotion he was feeling. No one except the group understood what he was saying, but their faces told it all. As the blond finished up his proposal, the smaller brunet started where he left off. The crowd assumed he was doing the same thing that his partner did, and the shouts and cheering from the crowd were louder than before as the two men nodded, embraced, and placed a ring on each other's hand. 

  At this point, most of everyone who was witnessing this event was crying. Women and young girls clutched at each other and the men tried to hide their emotions by coughing out their choked up feelings. 

 There was a lot of manly coughing.

 The group of 19 (all crying and manly coughing) embraced the newly engaged couple and turned to the crowd. The brunet fiance and another boy with light brown hair stepped forward. They explained (in english) who this group was and basically what happened. The crowd seemed pleased that they witnessed 2 of the best kpop groups of the year complete a wonderful proposal in front of them, and began to cheer once again. Phones were whipped out, pictures were taken, and soon the news of the newly engaged Jisoo and Jeonghan was spreading across social media like a wildfire.

 

 

~

 

 

**' OT19 '**

 

**angelface** DID U GUYS REALLY KNOW JISOO WAS GOING TO PROPOSE AS WELL AND NOT TELL ME!?!?!?!??!

**angelface** OR TELL HIM I WAS GOINGTO PROPOSE!!?!?!?

**dad** Oops.

**angelface** YEAH OOPS, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

**angelface** I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I NEARLY SHIT MYSELF WHEN JISOO STARTED SINGING AS WELL

**jisooschrist** i think that worked out wonderfully!!

**jisooschrist** hannie we're trending on twitter! this is awesome!

**angelface** MY HAIR IS TURNING GREY

**angelface** but yes my dear /fiance/, it is awesome

**mother** i had no idea it was going to turn out that well

**chachawoo** i'm glad we got it recorded!!

**verdone** i seriously thought that was gonna flop so hard

**dkcountryreturns** now i wanna get married :((((

**woozi** WE ALREADY HAVE TO ARRANGE AND PLAN AND GET THROUGH ONE WEDDING,,,, WE AREN'T GOING TO DO ANOTHER FOR LIKE 2334 YEARS OK

**jisooschrist** hehehe guys i'm gonna get MARRIED

**jisooschrist** to JEONGHAN

**jisooschrist** how dope is that

**dino-saur** i need a nap after all that

**minghoe** i need to sleep for like 37 years

**father** sanha and minhyuk are asleep in the uber with us

**puppycat** minhyuk snores

**hitthekwan** so does hansol

**verdone** i do NOT

**hitthekwan** ok whatever u say big boy

 

 

~

 

 

**jisooschrist** MARRIED

**angelface** omg

**jisooschrist** i love you so <333

**angelface** i love you to <333

**dino-saur** i love myself and chicken nuggets <33333333

 

 

 

 


	13. oh golly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is that gd? also marvel and nasty gyu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAHHHH I'M SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG 
> 
> i was on vacation at my lakehouse in Maine, and unfortunately i didn't have wifi until saturday, and then i had like no!!ideas!!! but anyway i hope you guys like this!! it's kinda forced and cringy but it's here!!
> 
> also if u guys want to see anything in this fic pls leave a comment bc i need more Good Content lolol
> 
> idk an update on me~~ i might start updating stan wars again bc suddenly people are commenting and giving it kudos so ?????? and now both my little sisters are away at a sleepover camp for two weeks so now i can just sit and write without being bothered so !!!!!
> 
> also- a few weeks ago i made a twitter and rn i really only rt stuff but if u wanna talk to me it's @ asteroidsanha ,, i mean u don't have to follow me but if u do hit me up in the dm's and we can chat about astro, seventeen, kpop in general, how your day has been going, what u ate for dinner last night, idk!! 
> 
> enjoy this short chapter!! (btw i fixed the links so there's no sketchy redirecting!!)

**haehaebae** ok can we all admit that lee chan has had the best fucking glow up in kpop history

**haehaebae** like he went from this: [[image]](http://misskpop.weebly.com/uploads/1/2/1/6/12167949/699815520.jpg)

**haehaebae** to this:  [[image]](https://68.media.tumblr.com/0944f1d5ef29c1f738ed8593ba00cdf9/tumblr_omjqsnBMxu1w3k5qwo1_500.jpg) [[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/a7/19/87/a71987495eefa9178bddaeff2678154c--seventeen-scan-seventeen-dino-cute.jpg)  [[image]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b7/5e/22/b75e22f84cbbe5f92b0c2cd99c4bd683--dino-seventeen-hoshi-seventeen.jpg)

**haehaebae** boi

**goodgemini** um

**goodgemini** who r u

**mynameisminhoe** i agree

**mynameisminhoe** even i didn't glow up that good

**memgyu** haechan? minho? how did u guys get in here???

**bacon** if i was younger i'd totally hyu chan ;)

**dino-saur** help me

**taentedluv** chan went from shark boi to lava gurl 

**taentedluv** bc he's hot

**angelface** STOP SAYING THIS STUFF ABOUT MY BABY

**dino-saur** i'm not ur baby jeonghan 

**angelface** dINO WHOSE BABY ARE YOU

**dino-saur** not urs

**angelface** D,: 

**angelface** JISOO BABY HOLD ME

**jisooschrist** one minute babe i need to figure out y there's suddenly a shit ton of random idols in thischat

**tallbeagle** hi donghyuk!! how's things!!!??? ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

**haehaebae** good goood good hbu babe

**tallbeagle** oh i'm good! thanks for asking! (*´∀`*)

**bacon** oh god he's adorable

**bacon** i'll take him pls

**mother** u got to admit the kaomojis make him 10 times cuter

**puppycat** ur welcome for showing them to him

**bangthewang** no baekhyun i want him

**bacon** go away jackson

**woozi** y r u all here

**chachawoo** i'm confused

**kendoll** can i take sanha

**jinnyweasle** ken no~~~ joon and i have claimed him already

**angelface** i think tf not u trick ass bitch

**dkcountryreturns** jeonghan calm down

**whatwoo** yo guys what's up

**memegyu** apparently sanha

**notanidol** i'll take him

**wonwho** GO BACK TO TWITTER JAE

**notanidol** y i ke s

**lalalalisa** i'll take him

**HOSH** LISA?!?!!?

**lalalalisa** us gg's will take him

**wendyschickenfries** yo i want him too

**father** this is overwhelming

**tallbeagle** stop it guys  ⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄

**mynameisminhoe** I JUST GASPED

**mynameisminhoe** PROTEC 

**yoooojung**  I'LL TAKE U SANHA

**father**  yoU HAVEN'T EVEN DEBUTED YET YOOJUNG GO FOCUS

**yoooojung**  but sanha :,(

**father**  yoojung...

**yoooojung**  fine,,, i still can't believe they named up weki meki

**no-yeon** twice will take him

**heeheejun** mine

**therock** ahem

**mother** heejun,,, no

**taeyeonie** i will have him

**bacon** GOTTA GO SORRY SANHA CATCH U LATER

 

_**bacon has left ' OT19 '** _

 

**taentedluv** awkward

**verdone** it isn't really ot19 rn now

**minghoe** IT WILL ALWAYS BE OT19

**minghoe** EVEN WITH THESE IRRELEVANT PPL

**gd** rude

**minghoe** oh god

**minghoe** EVERYONE EXCEPT U KING JIYONG

**dad** How is G-Dragon in our chatroom?

**gd** idk i just entered the code seungkwan sent out and here i am

**gd** also sanha ur cute as fuck so u can come to me if u want to

**jisooschrist** seungkwan,,,

**hitthekwan** ,,,, helloooo

**therock** SEUNGKWAN FOR THE PAST 15 MINUTES I'VE HAD TO ENDURE ALL THESE IDOLS FIGHTING OVER MY BOYFRIEND THIS IS ALL UR FAULT

**therock** EVEN GDRAGON WANTS HIM

**therock** WHO WOULD TURN DOWN GD

**therock** ESPECIALLY OVER ME

**tallbeagle** i would!

**gd** ouch

**wendyschickenfries** commitment right there

**hitthekwan** oops

**hitthekwan** also gd sunbaenim i can't believe u actually used the code

**gd** eh i was bored so y not

**woozi** ur a legend

**gd** so r u

**dad** Jihoon just fainted can somebody get me some grape juice?

**HOSH** lol on it!

**taeyeonie** jeonghan and jisoo congrats on your engagement by the way!

**angelface** THANK U TAEYEON

**jisooschrist**!!!!  <3333 :DDDD

**tallbeagle** i'm so touched by u guys fighting over me but can u guys please leave the chat? it's very overwhelming for minhyuk :(((( he's very distressed right now  (╯•﹏•╰)

**jinnyweasle** oh dear~~ of course

**lalalalisa** sorry babes

**heeheejun** yo if u ever get tired of rocky hmu baby boi

**angelface** GET HIM OUT OF HERE

**mother** HEEJUN I'M CALLING JIHUN 

**gd** nice talking with y'all

**wonwho** we should do this again sometime

**whatwoo** no we shouldn't

**kendoll** baiiii

**no-yeon** later losers

**woozi** seungkwan can u remove them

**hitthekwan** on it!

**hitthekwan** sorrrry guys and gals thanks for joining it's been good

 

_**hitthekwan removed 15 users from chat** _

 

**whatwoo** oh thank god

**therock** THAT WAS SO PAINFUL

**father** we had like 30 people in here how is that possible

**HOSH** we had some Legends in here

**HOSH** seungkwan howd u do it

**hitthekwan** ;)

**verdone** i rly don't wanna know

**mother** i felt Threatened

**angelface** myungjun i'm next in line for sanha right? before all those others? :,)

**mother** yes u r jeonghan how many times do i have to tell u

**talllbeagle** u guys realize i have my own family right? lol :D

**mother** IRRELEVENT

 

 

**~**

 

 

**puppycat** if we were superheros in the marvel universe who would we be???

**mother** IRON MAN

**father**  does that mean i'm pepper potts

**mother**  ;)

**jisooschrist**  captain america

**jisooschrist**  jeonghan is the bucky barnes to my steve rogers

**jisooschrist**  they both had long hair too uwu

**angelface**  but bucky is the winter soldier and evil

**jisooschrist**  BUCKY IS NOT EVIL HE WAS ABUSED AND BRAINWASHED HEIS ADORABLE AND I LOVE HIM

**angelface**  gasp u love bucky

**angelface**  HELLO I'M JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES ALSO KNOWN AS BUCKY I LOVE STEVE ROGERS AKA CAPTAIN AMERICA AKA HONG JISOO

**hitthekwan** spiderman!!!!

**verdone** THAN I'M DEADPOOL

**puppycat** awh i wanted iron man

**chachawoo** can i be gru from despicable me

**HOSH** 1: nO

**HOSH** 2: THAT'S NOT EVEN MARVEL?!?! 

**HOSH** 3: GRU IS A VILLAIN

**chachawoo** he became a good guy :(

**puppycat** i'm ant man

**puppycat** dongmin can be sam wilson

**puppycat** love my marvel rarepairs

**dad** I will be Thor.

**woozi** hell no i am not being jane whatsherface

**woozi** i'll be magneto and u can be professer x

**dad** Magneto is a villain!?!?

**woozi** eh depends on the movie

**HOSH** i will be black widow

**HOSH** so i can be both hot and badass

**dkcountryreturns** guess that makes me the hulk lolool

**HOSH** u hulk out in bed ;))

**memegyu** soonyoung do me a favor and shut up

**whatwoo** can i be 

**memegyu** dude ur beast from xmen

**memegyu** i'm havoc

**whatwoo** isn't havoc dead

**memegyu** irrelevent

**minghoe** i want star lord

**minghoe** jun will be gamora

**goodgemini** what if i wanted to be wolverine

**minghoe** oh well

**goodgemini** :,)

**puppycat** is that everyone?

**dino-saur** meeee!!!

**therock** and sanha and i

**angelface** who do u think u are chan?

**dino-saur** idkk,,,

**tallbeagle** i wanna be pheonix! jean grey! she's awesome!

**therock** she is scary

**tallbeagle**!!! :DDD

**therock** so i am cyclops

**memegyu** ur my little bro ;)

**therock** get that winky face away from me ming ew

**memegyu** ok rude

**goodgemini** mingew is so accurate tho

**goodgemini** i will never recover from that one time

**chachawoo** what time?

**goodgemini** OH GOD LET ME SHOW YOU

**goodgemini** ONE MINUTE THERE'S A GIF OF IT SOMEWHERE

**HOSH** while he does that let me explain:

**HOSH** mingyu is so nasty

**dkcountryreturns** i don't think he knows that concept of germs

**dad** My goal in life is to train him to sneeze in him elbow, not his hand.

**woozi** and if he does sneeze into his hand wASH iT AFTERWARDS

**goodgemini**  [[link]](http://pa1.narvii.com/6372/de493a810ee4b08d436f58aa6a98b7a8b697adc9_hq.gif) tHIS IS THE NASTIEST SHIT

**goodgemini** HE SNEEZES INTO HIS HAND AND THEN GOES AND TOUCHES MY HAIR

**goodgemini** n A S T y

**memegyu** hahahaha

**verdone** IVE BEEN VICTIMIZED BY MINGEW AS WELL

**verdone**[[link]](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/yohan94/73860172/88992/88992_original.gif) KIM MINGYU WHAT'S GOOD

**father** yuck

**mother** wonwoo are u srsly dating him

**whatwoo** unfortunately so

**memegyu** RUDE

**minghoe** OUR FOOD AS WELL

**minghoe**[[link]](https://68.media.tumblr.com/0e8c02859387b1f87eb7354b550e49fa/tumblr_ny86feJTTr1rswvcfo1_250.gif) SNEEZES AND THEN HAND GIES RIGHT BACK TO THE INGREDIENTS

**mother** this is horrendous

**memegyu** ATLEAST I COVER MY MOUTH WHEN I SNEEZE

**memegyu** MARK FROM NCT DOESN'T EVEN COVER HIS MOUTH

**jisooschrist** well we aren't talking about mark, mingyu. we're talking about you

**memegyu** I'M BEING ATTACKED

 

_**hitthekwan changed memegyu's username to ' mingew '** _

 

**mingew** OK RUDE

**mingew** IM GONNA CHANGE IT BACK

 

_**hitthekwan locked mingew's username** _

 

**mingew** boo you whore

**therock** do u know there's a youtube video dedicated to mingyu being nasty

**therock** AND A WHOLE VIDEO OF JUST HIM SNEEZING WTF

**jisooschrist** do u know ppl actually have sneezing kinks

**woozi** LETS NOT GET INTO THAT PLS AND THANK U

 

 

~

 

 

**verdone** oh jisoo 

**jisooschrist** wat

**verdone** guys jae from day6 was here earlier right?

**chachawoo** correct

**woozi** ya wonho yelled at him or something

**verdone** he said jisoo is his bias in svt

**verdone** isn't that adorable 

**verdone**[[image]](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DCYbfR9VYAArw-d.jpg) look at his tweet

**verdone** ship

**verdone** oh wait

**angelface** ahem

**angelface** i think i need to talk to this ' jae ' character

**jisooschrist** ahhhh he's my day6 bias

**jisooschrist** he's from california as well!!

**jisooschrist** i should see if he wants to hang out sometime, he seems hilarious

**angelface** JISOO :,(((((((

**jisooschrist** yes jeonghan?

**angelface** i don't want you hanging out with him alone :,(((((((

**dad** Don't be pathetic Jeonghan.

**angelface** CHEOLLIE UR MY BEST FRIEND YOU SHOULD BE HELPING UR MANS OUT

**jisooschrist** babe we're engaged 

**jisooschrist** i wouldn't ever do something like that

**dkcountryreturns** it's true

**dino-saur** he is seventeen's gentleman, him being unloyal is as likely as mingyu being hygienic

**dino-saur** (not likely) 

**angelface** i know :/// ur boi just gets jealous sometimes

**jisooschrist** you have no reason to be jealous <333

**angelface** :))) <333

**mingew** AODFHWDJFNWOIFJOWAF

**mingew** LEAVE ME ALONE

**mingew** BABE HELP UR BOI OUT

**whatwoo** go wash your hands first and then we'll talk 

**mingew** :,)

**woozi** cheol remind me to get a big pack of portable hand sanitizer from bj's around christmas so i can gift it to mingyu

**dad** Ok.

**therock** day6 is actually so cool

**therock** like they actually play instruments and make their own music

**therock** of course we do as well but like imagine if we all played instruments

**HOSH** lol but then we couldn't dance!

**therock** WE COULD TRY

**mother** oh well

**HOSH** jihoon would probably play the triangle or something

**woozi** kwon soonyoung i'm go to haunt your soul when i die

**HOSH** ooh scary

**woozi** don't try me binch

**dad** Soonyoung don't even rile him up.

**dkcountryreturns** last time u did this we had to make excuses to manager hyung about the huge bruises all over ur legs

**dkcountryreturns** we said u fell dancing but it's hard to lie about HAND PRINTS AROUND UR ANKLES FROM GETTING DRAGGED ACROSS THE APARTMENT BY JIHOON

**father** that is Aggressive

**woozi** oops

 

**hitthekwan** i was looking for pictures of jihoon with us bc i was gonna make a " he protec but he also attac " meme but he never protecs

**hitthekwan** he attac: [[link]](http://i.imgur.com/TU0ahhV.gif) but he also attac: [[link]](http://pa1.narvii.com/5924/38f008fe7b45e8cf8ac96e2b906b92182783b1a8_hq.gif) and attac: [[link]](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/96/05/f0/9605f07303e97bd91f677522301a95a2.gif)

**woozi** I CAN PROTEC IF I WANNA PROTEC OK

**HOSH** sounds fake but ok

 

 


	14. oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a quick mess update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been like 36437958 years i'm sorry take this as an apology
> 
>  
> 
> anyway i've been on twt so much lately that's why i haven't updated if u want u can follow me @ hongjisood
> 
>  
> 
> also i got a request for sanha and chan fighting so i'm sorry if this sucks pls don't hurt me

**therock** okay so listen

**therock** idc what anybody says

**therock** seungcheol is the biggest snake on the block

**dad** Excuse me?

**angelface** i can't believe you would do this cheol :(

**dad** Do what?

**puppycat** all because of drugs, how dare you

**whatwoo** what are you talking about

**jisooschrist** shut up wonton u drugged me and framed me

**goodgemini** what

**hitthekwan** YOU TOO WEN JUNHUI 

**hitthekwan** YOU DRUGGIE

**goodgemini** what the fuck

**hitthekwan** YOU FRAMED MY BF

**chachawoo** what are y'all talking about?

**father** u didn't know?

**father** loser

**chachawoo** ok rude

**dad** Ok, what is this all about?

**tallbeagle** SEVENSCHEME

**mingew** seven what

**HOSH** sevenscheme, rhymes with seventeen

**dkcountryreturns** very clever, very clever

**whatwoo** jisoo did u call me wonton

**jisooschrist** i can't believe snakecheol, wonton, and july would do this to poor jihoon

**woozi** what

**dino-saur** rest in pieces lee jihoon, you will be missed

**woozi**???

**minghoe** sometimes,,, it's like i can still hear his voice,,,,

**woozi** i'm not dead you twat

**mother** seungcheol i can't believe you would kill your own boyfriend

**therock** technically soonyoung was his boyfriend

**woozi** what

**HOSH** LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT

**father** seungcheol i have one question for you...

**dad** I'm still confused, but sure.

**father** do you regretti the spaghetti

**mother** ok that's it we're divorcing 

**therock** ur

**therock** not

**therock** married

**dad** Spaghetti???? What?????

**angelface** you poisoned jihoonie's spaghetti and killed him

**dad**!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

**dad** I did no such thing?!

**woozi** why did you do that cheol wtf

**dkcountryreturns** bc of the drugs

**minghoe** bc jihoon was gonna tell the cops so cheol needed to shut him up

**puppycat** by killing him!

**dad** I would never!

**woozi** sounds fake but okay

**dad** Jihoon!!

**father** i can't believe you seungcheol,,,

**jisooschrist** *snakecheol

 

 

 

~

 

 

**dino-saur**  omg guys i just fell down the stairs

**tallbeagle** tragic

**mother** sanha,, that's not nice!?!?!

**woozi** wait i was gonna say that

**minghoe** jihoon you aren't nice so that makes sense

**woozi** i don't have the energy to feel annoyed.

**tallbeagle** ok

**tallbeagle** i am totally, incredibly, disheartened that you managed to be stupid enough to fall down the stairs. You must've done that a lot as a child, must've really messed up your brain.

**goodgemini** *sips tea*

**dino-saur** sanha choke

**angelface** WHAT THE

**angelface** LEE CHAN

**mingew** wait chan continue

**tallbeagle** i'm gonna block u chan

**dino-saur** try me bitch

**dkcountryreturns** im gonna have heart failure what is happening

**dino-saur** yoon sanha is not my best friend anymore

**therock** welp i'm not complaining

**tallbeagle** i will not allow lee chan to be my bff until he admits he is wrong

**verdone** chan does that mean i'm your best friend again

**dino-saur** ,,

**dino-saur** unfortunately

**verdone** u know what

**verdone** i'll take it

**hitthekwan** i thought i was your best friend :(

**verdone** you're my boyfriend, which is like the ULTIMATE best friend

**hitthekwan** okay :)

**dad** Boys, why are you fighting?

**dino-saur** none of ur business

**angelface** lee chan don't speak like that to your father

**tallbeagle** u just got scolded lol

**mother** calm ur tits sanha

**tallbeagle** i don't have tits

**mother** THAT IS NOT THE POINT

**dino-saur** mom i did nothing wrong sanha is attacking me for breathing

**tallbeagle** LIES

**tallbeagle** THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE I HAVE HEARD IN MY 17 YEARS OF LIFE

**dino-saur** NO IT ISN'T

**tallbeagle** YEAH OKAY

**dino-saur** I CAN'T BELIEVE

**tallbeagle** THEN BELIEVE

**dino-saur** nO

**dino-saur** I WON'T DO ANYTHING YOU TELL ME ANYMORE

**dino-saur** UM HELLO???

**dino-saur** IT'S BEEN 5 MINUTES YOON SANHA DID U RUN AWAY

**dino-saur** pussy

 

 

~

 

 

**whatwoo** ok but what happened 

**mother** i have never seen sanha be mean

**chachawoo** i got a little nauseous watching it

**angelface** my baby,,,, chan,,,, being mean to my other baby,,,, sanha,,,, who was being mean to my baby chan,,,,,,

**minghoe** i think it was rather entertaining

**goodgemini** me too

**mingew** well that makes sense

**mingew** y'all are kinda evil

**minghoe** try me nasty

**jisooschrist** it's obvi they disagreed on something?

**dad** I don't know, it was kind of disturbing...

**father** idek sanha was so mad he was exercising

**puppycat** say what now

**therock** sanha????? exercise?????

**father** ikr

**father** i saw him sprinting on the treadmill while listening to EXO's album

**minghoe** ooh boi

**minghoe** have u heard the eve

**minghoe** i'm pretty sure i had an orgasm just listening to the song

**minghoe** but then,,, i watched their stages of it

**minghoe** i have NEVER nutted so hard in my life as a horny chinese boy

**goodgemini** i would be mad that you've been getting off to exo but i relate so hard

**chachawoo** ANYWAY 

**chachawoo** have you guys seen sanha lately??

**chachawoo** his phone has gone straight to voicemail and i've called him like 7 times

**chachawoo** also he left his duck plushie which he takes everywhere so,,,

**mother** oh gof

**mother** did someone kidnap sanha

**verdone** gof

**mother** u know what hansol go choke

**mother** iM WORRIED ABOUT MY SON

**angelface** guys chan is missing as well

**mingew** well shit

**HOSH** he took his phone with him?? someone call him??

**dkcountryreturns** i'm on it boo

**dkcountryreturns** goes straight to voicemail as well

**whatwoo** this is unfortunate

**jisooschrist** omg shut up wonton

**whatwoo** don't call me wonton

**jisooschrist** wonton

 

_**jisooschrist changed whatwoo's username to ' wonton '** _

 

**wonton** ok rude

**hitthekwan** chan probably went and murdered sanha bc of their disagreement

**woozi** that,,, is very unlikely

**hitthekwan** is it though?

**woozi** yes?

**hitthekwan** but

**hitthekwan** /is it?/

**woozi** it

**woozi /** is?/ 

**dad** Anyway.

**dad** We should probably go find those two.

**HOSH** seok and i will walk around downstairs

**chachawoo** bin and i will check our building as well

**therock** lmao goodluck

**woozi** this is your boyfriend minhyuk

**therock** ,,,

**therock** bin dongmin im joining u

 

 

~

 

 

**tallbeagle** hi guys!!! :D

**dino-saur** why hasn't anybody texted in this for like 3 hours??

**verdone** whoop whoop sanha isn't dead

**angelface** WHERE ARE YOU GUYS

**mother** WE ARE SO WORRIED

**dad** Why were you guys fighting?

**jisooschrist** u guys better have gotten something to eat bc i accidently ate all of the kimbap

**hitthekwan** wait wtf

**woozi** chan come home cheol won't go to sleep untilyou return and i'm tired as shit

**dino-saur** sorry!! i'll be right there!

**father** sanha is there leftovers

**therock** they didn't even say they got food

**tallbeagle** don't worry~ i got you guys food!

**therock** do u know i love you

**tallbeagle** :D

**mingew** wait so what was up with you and chan earlier?

**dino-saur** LOL

**tallbeagle** oh, we had a slight disagreement over whether phineas and ferb can be considered a kids show

**wonton** what

**dino-saur** so we fought but now we're best friends again!!! :)))

**dino-saur** lmao sorry hansol you're demoted again

**verdone** yikes

**dkcountryreturns** aju yikes

 

 

~

 

 

**woozi** i just want to let you guys know that i love you and i know i act grumpy like all the time but i actually really care for each and every one of you and want you guys to be happaoiy and safe and eating well and i'm thankful that i have yall in my life ok goodnight

**angelface** happaoiy

**puppycat** happaoiy

**HOSH** happaoiy

**therock** happaoiy

**dad** Happaoiy.

**mingew** happaoiy

**hitthekwan** happaoiy

**dkcountryreturns** happaoiy

**dino-saur** happaoiy

**goodgemini** happaoiy

**jisooschrist** happaoiy

**father** happaoiy

**mother** happaoiy

**wonton** happaoiy

**chachawoo** happaoiy

**verdone** happaoiy

**tallbeagle** happaoiy

**minghoe** happaoiy

**woozi** i actually hate every single one of you

**woozi** i take it back i want all of you to CHOKE

 

 


	15. guess who's back (SHINee's back) (except SHINee does not make any sort of appearance whatsoever) (it's seventeen and astro who are actually back) (i'm sorry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE KINGS ARE BACK WITH MORE DISCOURSE AND FUN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "a cunt named papacita write a wannaone 2sung twitter fic y'all should check it out" hi you should ummmmm read jae's fic if u like wannaone because iTS SO GOOD I SHED A TEAR but the link is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12051102/chapters/27288456 check it out and you get one (1) cookie
> 
> anygay...
> 
> it's been awhile,, i'd say i'm sorry but rly i'm just lazy and on twitter 25/8 so oops :)
> 
> welp i hope u like this chapter and hope you didn't forget about this trash fic :,)
> 
> also wendy, brynn, mckenna, jae, etc i hope ur happy i slaved over this
> 
> also follow my twitter and say hi ;) https://twitter.com/shuangelic

 

**woozi** OKAY

**woozi** FIRSTLY I WOULD LIKE TO SAY I AM,,, DISGUSTED

**chachawoo** is firstly a word

**jisooschrist** yes

**chachawoo** ok continue

**woozi** I JUST TRY TO LIVE MY LIFE

**woozi** MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS

**HOSH** ya okay

**woozi** BEING A KIND, GOOD SAMARITAN

**dad** HAH

**dad** I mean,

**dad** Of course, Jihoon.

**woozi** i'm going to ignore that bc i'm traumatized but u are forgiven not forgotten cheol

**dad** whats happening jihoon?

**woozi** where is fucking soonyoung

**dkcountryreturns** 0.0 what did he do this time

**woozi** HE 

**woozi** HE SENT ME NUDES

**minghoe** he did what now

**angelface** BAHAHAHA

**angelface** i mean

**angelface** oh hoon i'm sorry b

**woozi** shut the fuck up snake

**woozi** anygay

**woozi** SOONYOUNG WHERE TF R U 

**HOSH** h-hello

**woozi** YOU FUCKING CUNT I DIDNT WANT TO SEE THAT GOD IS MY CONTACT EVEN NEAR SEOKMIN'S DEAR GOD THE ONLY DICK I WANT TO BE SEEING IS SEUNGCHEOL'S AND POSSIBLY GONG YOO'S NOT UR SKINNY PENIS JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO BLEACH MY EYES I NEED TO START GOING TO CHURCH I NEED TO JUMP INTO AN ACTIVE VOLCANO JUST ANYTHING TO GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY MIND 

**dkcountryreturns** 0////0 soon u were gonna send me dick pics?

**dkcountryreturns** i'm blushing ur so cute

**chachawoo** i

**hitthekwan** seokmin the-

**verdone** soon can u send me them too

**therock** the fuck did i come back to

**goodgemini** hansol no

**verdone** hansol yes

**dad** I would be mad about what you said about Gong Yoo, but I agree wholeheartedly that he is a gorgeous man and I would not mind getting nude pictures from him.

**jisooschrist** me too b

**angelface** jisoo no

**jisooschrist** jisoo yes

**dino-saur** can y'all stop with the no yes thing i am Tired

**puppycat** chan no

**dino-saur** bin i will hunt you down

**chachawoo** pls don't hurt my boyfriend

**puppycat** ya pls don't hurt his boyfriend

**mother** bin shut up 

**therock** ya bin shut up

**mother**  minhyuk shut up

**therock** D:

**woozi** back to me

**woozi** soonyoung i deserve an apology

**mingew** yeah soonyoung apologize

**woozi** shut up nasty

**mingew** I BREATHED

**HOSH** i-i'm sorry

**woozi** thank u

**HOSH** NOT LOL UWU BITCH HOPE U LIKED THIS DICK

**woozi** soonyoung u better run i'm going to deck you so hard you won't wake up for weeks

**HOSH** GOTTA LUHAN

**wonton** ok bitch too soon

 

 

~

 

 

**angelface** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

**father** jeonghan what

**wonton** this is relatable 

**tallbeagle** um ok!!

**dad** Jeonghan, what the Hell.

**hitthekwan** y did u capitalize hell

**dad** Why didn't I?

**hitthekwan** DONT ANSWER MY QUESTION WITH A QUESTION U SNAKE

**jisooschrist** seungkwan don't talk to ur dad (number 1) like that

**angelface** jisoo why won't u acknowledge my cute message

**angelface** wait

**angelface** wAIT

**angelface** OOPS

**angelface** FUCK WRONG ONE I WANNA FUCKING JUMP OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE I'MADFKHJSDFFJDHK 

**chachawoo** what is happening 

**dkcountryreturns** why the brooklyn bridge

**angelface** ok i'm starting over

**angelface** jisoo is 

S  
　    O  
　　　 O  
　　　　 o  
　　　　　o  
　　　　　 o  
　　　　　o  
　　　　 。  
　　　 。  
　　　.  
　　　.  
　　　 .  
　　　　.  
              cute

**jisooschrist**  awh ily han ur a sweetheart :D

**angelface** WOW I AM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU I-

**goodgemini** he didn't even say anything special 

**goodgemini** ur sucha loser

**tallbeagle** that's mean D:

**dino-saur** junhui is mean

**tallbeagle** that's true

**goodgemini** i would be offended but it's true

 

 

~

 

 

**mother** JINWOO EATS HIS MACARONI. WITH A SPOON.

**mother** DIVORCE: HAPPENING

**therock** YALL. AREN'T. MARRIED. I'M GONNA. KERMIT.

**therock** but anybi eating macaroni with a spoon isn't weird?? i love macaroni

**puppycat** i love spoons

**verdone** ok

**HOSH** WHO EATS MACARONI WITH A SPOON I NEED TO KNOW FOR SCIENCE

 

**father** MOI

**therock** me bih

**dkcountryreturns** m-me

**HOSH** that's why you're my favorite (๑♡⌓♡๑)

**puppycat** i do

**angelface** TF NO HOW DO Y'ALL USE SPOONS IT'S NOTLIKE IT'S SOUP

**jisooschrist** i use a spoon

**angelface** WOW HELLO FELLOW SPOON USERS SWELL DAY ISN'T IT

**wonton** i use a fork

**mingew** I ALSO USE A FORK BC I'M AN INTELLECTUAL

**minghoe** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**minghoe** MINGYU????? AN INTELLECTUAL????? IN THIS ECONOMY????

**minghoe** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**minghoe** anyway i use a spoon bc i'm not a dumbass like certain ppl

**goodgemini** did u just call me a dumbass

**minghoe** yes

**goodgemini** gasp

**tallbeagle** I USE A SPOON o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

**dino-saur** what did forks do to y'all

**mother** EXACTLY JUSTICE FOR FORKS

**woozi** spoons are easier smh

**hitthekwan** i use a fork 0.0

**verdone** THE LOML WOW SO PROUD SO HAPPY TO BE UR BOYF

**chachawoo** spoon

**puppycat** spoon yes fun

**father** seungcheol how about u my old friend

**dad** I use a spork.

 

 

~

 

 

**dad** Guys, where did you go? It's been a half hour?

 

 

~

 

 

**dad** Um, it's been 3 hours what did I do? Where did you guys go?

 

 

~

 

 

**dad** IT'S BEEN LITERALLY 2 DAYS WHY DID MY SPORK KILL THIS CHAT.

 

 

~

 

 

**woozi** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**angelface** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (2)

**mother**  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (3)

**dad** I can't believe you guys.

**verdone** ily dad mwah saranghae

**hitthekwan** mwah saran gay

**puppycat** mwah zaranghay

**father** mwah cilantro

**jisooschrist** mwah saucisson

**HOSH** mwah spaghetti

**minghoe** mwah salad

**chachawoo** mwah scissoring

**wonton** mwah salami

**tallbeagle** mwah bologna 

**mingew** mwah zarg

**therock** mwah steak

**dkcountryreturns** my sarangi

**goodgemini** mwah sing sang sung

**dino-saur** mwah centipede 

**mother** mwah celiac 

**woozi** mwah c-section 

**angelface** mwah serial code

**dad** You know what...

**dad** You guys can Choke.

**woozi** gladly daddy

**dad** ENOUGH


	16. this is awkward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ???1?@?!#?@??@!???!??!??!@?#/1??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahem..
> 
>  
> 
> I LOVE JOSHUA HONG
> 
>  
> 
> thank u for your time

**wonton** fuck me up daddy thrust your hard cock up into my tight asshole mHHMMMM

 **wonton** I DINT NOT TYPTW THAT

 **wonton** IT WDA MINYGU I SWAWR

 **puppycat** ya

 **puppycat** ok wonu whatever you say

 **hitthekwan** FUCSIFNNFSKDS

 **verdone** TIGHT ASSHOLS

 **dkcountryreturns** TEUCK

 **wonton** LISTEHDN ASSHEOELS ITW ASNT ME UFKGIN KIM MINGYU STILE MY PHEON

 **mingew** me???? i would NEVER how dare you accuse me of such a thing

 **wonton** eat my ASS mango

 **father** MANGO FUKUSDFS

 **mingew** as you wish wonu ;)

 **tallbeagle** y'all nasty

 **angelface** SANHA BABYE DIUASDHSD YOU'RE RIGHT THEY'RE SINNERS

 **dad A** re you seriously in the place to call someone else a sinner, Yoon Jeonghan?

 **angelface** shut up stringbean

 **angelface** seungcheol****

 **angelface** sorry autocorrect

 **dino-saur** o..k...

 **jisooschrist** jeonghan

 **jisooschrist** stringbean

 **jisooschrist** really

 **angelface** LISTEN

 **angelface** IT SOUNDDED BETTER IN MY HEAD DD;

 **jisooschrist** it's okay you noob

 **angelface** i'm not a nooB

 **goodgemini** you're a noob

 **woozi** you're The Noob ffs you literally walked around an arcade like a fucking CHICKEN and you laugh like a noob you're just a noob okay noob

 **minghoe** i have the receipts to prove this

 **mother** bIH SEND IT

 **minghoe** [[[[LINK BIH]]]]]

 **mother** fucign NICE consider that sAVED

 **angelface** i hate y'all

 **therock** i heard noob

 **therock** are we talking about dongmin

 **chachawoo** excuse me

 **therock** sorry i don't talk to n00bs

 **chachawoo** IM NOT A NOOB LEAVE ME ALONE

 **therock** what's that?? i don't speak N00B

 **chachawoo** bin help me

 **puppycat**... 

 **puppycat** noob

 

 

~

 

 

 **mother** THAT'S IT JINWOO WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE

 **HOSH** THE

 **HOSH** WHAT AHAPPEND NOWW

 **father** WE CANT; GET DIVORCED THINKA ABOUT THEC HIL DREN

 **mother** mAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU LEFT THE FRIDGE DOOR OPEN

 **mother** MY POOR POOR STRAWBERRY YOGURT

 **father** MYUNGJUN I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN FOR LIKE 2 MINUTES BEFORE TOU CLOSED TI

 **mother** I AVOIDE D A DISASTER JINJIN!!!! A DISASTER

 **therock** oh em gEE

 **therock** AJVENT TOU HEARD ME COMLPAIN EVNOUGH

 **therock** YALLA RENT' MARRIED

 **father** uh

 **mother** about that

 **mother** heh

 **mother** we are?

 **minghoe** you're what

 **puppycat** YOU'RE WHAT

 **dkcountryreturns** lol! funny joke y'all 

 **father** itwas myungjun's idea

 **mother** FUCKING

 **mother** BULLSHIT

 **mother** THIS BOY COMES UP TO ME ONE DAY LIKE "HMM JIHAN ARE HELLA CUTE..... WISH //WE// COULD BE LIKE THAT... *BLINKS EYES INNOCENTLY* *MAKES THE :3 THING WITH HIS MOUTH* *ACTS GENERALLY CUTE*" SO I WAS LIKE FUCK "U WANNA ACTUALLY GET MARRIED" AND HE WAS LIKE "BET" SO WE UH

 **mother** wE UH.... BOUGHT TWO TICKETS TO NEVADA AND ELOPED IN VEGAS????

 **therock** you what

 **therock** YOU WHAT

 **tallbeagle** MINHYUK JUST FAINTED

 **tallbeagle** also why didn't you invite us DDD:

 **angelface** YES WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE US

 **angelface** I WANTED TO BE YOUR MAN OF HONOR

 **goodgemini** don't u mean best man

 **dino-saur** no he doesn't you uncultured swine it's like the maid of honor but a dude

 **goodgemini** DON'T CALL ME UNCULTURED SWINE LITERALLY NO ONES SAYS THAT

 **dino-saur** WELL WE SAY THAT AND I'LL CALL YOU UNCULTURED SWINE IF I WANNA CALL YOU UNCULTURED SWINE FFS

 **goodgemini** FFS

 **puppycat** ahem

 **angelface**.

 **angelface** what

 **puppycat** I BEG YOUR PARDON I WOULD BE THE MAN OF HONOR

 **angelface** MJ IS MY BEST MOM FRIEND WE'RE BMFS

 **puppycat** I'VE KNOWN MYUNGJUN FOR YEARS SIT DOWN OLD LADY

 **angelface** gASP

 **dad** Okay, Jeonghan. I think you need a nice hot bath and a good night's sleep.

 **angelface** NO ID ONT I NED TO BETA THAT LDTITLRE KIDS SASS I DESVREDE HAT MAN FISNORS

 **puppycat** IM A 98 LINER IM NOT A KID

 **angelface** IM 95 TRY ME YOU BABY

 **dad** JEONGHAN GO TO BED

 **angelface** sigh

 **angelface** fine

 **puppycat** hah

 **father** bin

 **puppycat** okay im going

 **mother** ANYWAY

 **HOSH** YOU'RE NOT GONN A COMMENT ON THEIR BHEAVIOR?!??!

 **mother** nope!

 **mother** ANYWAY

 **mother** so yes, we did get married. yes, we didn't have a celebration and invite you guys. no, we're not having a celebration

 **mother** we already did that ;)))

 **woozi** I Did Not Need To Know That

 **therock** so

 **therock** you're saying

 **therock** that i can't yell at you whenever you say you're getting a divorce bc you guys actually are married and could Actually get a divorce

 **father** yes that's exactly what we're saying

 **therock** i've lost my meaning in life

 **therock** what will i do now

 **therock** i feel so

 **therock** lost

 **therock** as if i'm not even myself anymore

 **therock** who even am i?

 **therock** why am I even here anymore?

 **therock** I'm just a lonely soul, walking across the plane of eternity, lost, and helpless...

 **therock** What is the true meaning of this? Why am I here? Is there a plan for me or am I just doomed to trudge along this damned land until my own legs have worn away? Is there an end? Is there anyone waiting for me to welcome me as I've finished the trials and tribulations that were predestined for me to endure? Why me? Did I do something in one of my past lives that has triggered my eternal damnation of cold and nothingness? Will I be stuck here as my loved ones continue to age and move on without me? Will I ever get to tell them I love them? I-

 **therock** UFCK I RAN OUT OF CHARACETRS

 **therock** THE MOOD IS RUINED UGH IM GONNA GO TO BED

 

 

~

 

 

 **tallbeagle** well that was strange wasn't it! heh

 

 

~

 

 

 **verdone** who wants to putme into drag

 **hitthekwan** what

 **verdone** did i stutter

 

 **hitthekwan** well you made a small typo n didn't put a spece in between put and me so

 **verdone** d ID I ST U TT ER

 **wonton** why do you wanna get put into drag

 **verdone** bc i'd be purrrrdddyyy

 **verdone** gotta use my flawless bone structure for something!! ell oh ell

 **woozi** cheol can i strangle him

 **woozi** wait

 **woozi** why did i even ask

 **woozi** u better run hansol vernon chwe

 **dad** Do I even get a say in this?

 **mingew** what do u think seungcheol

 **dad** Shut up Mario.

 **mingew** WHAT HRE FUK I BRETAHED

 **minghoe** then Stop

 **mingew** MNGAHO WHY

 **minghoe** : )

 **chachawoo** that's a scary smiley face coming from minghao uhhHHH

 

 

~

 

 

 **verdone** Y'ALL DIED AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET AN ANSWER

 **angelface** sighs deeply

 **angelface** i'll call nayoung and see if she can bring some of the girls over 

 **verdone** THANK YOU MOM

 **angelface** the things i do for my children

 

 

~

 

 

 **verdone** I LOOK HOT

 **dino-saur** hOLY SUDFK SUNGYEON REALLY KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING

 **dkcountryreturns** ALYSSA EDWARDS IS SHAKING IN HER COWGIRL BOOTS

 

 **mother** SEND PICS

 **angelface** ILL SNAPCHAT THEM TO YOU BRB

 **mother** HOYL FUVK

 **hitthekwan** HANSOL JUST DEATHDROPPEDI M YELLIGN I CANT REATHE

 **verdone** THATS IT I'M LEAVING SEVENTEEN TO BECOME A PROFESSIONAL DRAG QUEEN BYE LOSERS

 **puppycat** DO IT I DARE YOU

 **tallbeagle** GO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS HANSOL

 **woozi** HAH

 **woozi** i think the fuck NOT

 **verdone** but-

 **woozi** no buts

 **verdone** bUT

 **woozi** I SAID NO BUTS

 **verdone** B-

 **woozi** NO

 **dad** That was very father-like of you Jihoon, I'm proud.

 **woozi** : )

 

 

~

 

 

_**jisooschrist changed their username to [ joshuji ]** _

 

 **joshuji** sup losers

 **angelface** JSOA FU

 **angelface** W HAT HTER FUCK IT'S BAEN LIEK 2 WEKKES HOW DI

 **angelface** HWAT RHE DUCKIS HAPEPNIGN I LVE YOU ??? BUT wh At

 **mingew** the author was playign ebg and coudn't include josh unless she wanted to lose so josh just had to disappear and we all couldn't say anythign about it beacsue he coujldn't acknowledge he was gone n josh couldn't do anything aobut it either it's kinda wierd huh

 **father** what

 **mingew** what 

 **joshuji** huh

 **joshuji** ye i rly don't know what's happened i can't really remember the past few days iss STrANGe

 **joshuji** junhui

 **goodgemini** yes joshu

 **joshuji** is this what being on drugs feels like

 **goodgemini** I BEG YOUR PARDON

 **joshuji**.

 **goodgemini** ok fine

 **goodgemini** yes that's probably what drugs feels like except to a much higher extent

 **goodgemini** not that i know what being on drugs feels like

 **goodgemini** bc i DONT

 **goodgemini** but if i did

 **goodgemini** that's what you're feeling rn

 **minghoe**...

 **minghoe** ok

 **goodgemini** I DONT

 **tallbeagle** myungjun said drugs are bad

 **mother** that's right sweetie : )

 **father** sanha i think you should maybe stay away from junhui for a bit

 **goodgemini** OHMY GOS STO TI RIGNOW 

 

 

~

 

 

 **dino-saur** are we just gonna ignore that joshua fucking disappeared for 2 weeks and none of us noticed??

 

 

~

 

 

 **dino-saur** no???

 **dino-saur** ok fakes

 **dino-saur** @ josh i missed you lots

 **joshuji** thanks babygrill i missed you too

 **joshuji** chan is my fave kid y'all can eat my ass

 **angelface** that's my job

 **joshuji** i

 **joshuji** ur right

 **father** NOT IN FRONT OF THEC HIDLREN

 **angelface** eat my ass jinwoo

 **joshuji** that's my job

 **angelface** fuck


	17. DON'T DO DRUGS KIDS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is wild.... i'm sorry in advance
> 
> don't do drugs kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof ! almost 3 months later here we are with another shitstorm excuse of a chapter!! i promise i'll update sooner i'm sorry heh if you have any ideas, criticisms, comments, uhhh comment them and i'll do what i can uwu mwah
> 
> enjoy babies~~
> 
> also follow me on twt @ shuangelic

**angelface** joshua in mom jeans and fishnets: a concept

**mother** jinwoo in crop tops: a concept

**mingew** wonu in a full sized penis costume: a concept

 

 

 

~

 

 

**minghoe** w hat

**mingew** i said what i said

**wonton** i'm breaking up with you

**mingew** nO pLeaS OFDNT I LVOE YOU :((((((((((((((

**wonton** mingyu who? junhui r u single

**goodgemini** no

**minghow** no

**wonton** wow junhui's my boyfriend can you believe wonhui is real

**goodgemini** no it's not

**wonton** we're in such a normal healthy homosexual relationship truly goals

**goodgemini** please shut up

**tallbeagle** i am so confused

 

 

~

 

 

**mingew** so did wonwoo rly break up with me

**puppycat** no

**HOSH** no

**dino-saur** no

**dad** No

**wonton** no dumbass

**minghoe** oh thank god

 

 

~

 

 

**tallbeagle** i've cracked the code uwu

**father** you've what the what

**mingew** welcome child how are you dealing with this revelation

**woozi** this what now

**tallbeagle** i know EVERYTHING mingyu hyung howdo you deal

**mingew** i don't

**tallbeagle** it's 17

**mingew** i know

**tallbeagle** YOU'RE 17

**mingew** I KNOW 

**joshuji** water y'all talking about 

**mingew** 'tis chapter 17.... and we're seventeen

**dkcountryreturns** what

**mingew** what

**tallbeagle** amazing

 

 

**~**

 

 

**minghoe** do you dare me to push soonyoung down the stairs

**father** nah

**dkcountryreturns** please don't D:

**angelface** don't you dare

**therock** do-

**mother** park minhyuk.

**therock** doN'T DO IT MYUNGHO

**dino-saur** that doesn't seem like a smart idea hyung

**minghoe** i can't believe you guys are making me do this

**goodgemini** we aren't

**dad** Xu Minghao...

**woozi** wtf

**minghoe** i REALLY don't want to do this but if you guys insist.......

**HOSH** NOS ODNT PUHAS ME DWON THE STAURS

**HOSH** PLEAS E MINGHAIASO ILLS DO ANUYTHGIN

**minghoe** fine i won't push him down the stairs.

 

 

~

 

 

**wonton** what was that noise

**mingew** was that an earthquake ???????

**HOSH** HE DUFCIFNG PUSHED MREBDOW HE RASTAITS IM STSCIK I CAN'T SMOVE OR BRVEAGE HELDP ME

**dkcountryreturns** SOONYOUNG I'M COMING

**tallbeagle** you said you wouldn't push him hyung! :(

**minghoe** i didn't

**chachawoo** i think you did

**minghoe** no i didn't

**joshuji** minghao....... soonyoung is literally at the bottom of the stairs wheezing we all know you pushed him

**minghoe** I SWEAR ON MY LIFE

**minghoe** i didn't push him.

**minghoe** but

**mother** but what....

**minghoe** BUT

**minghoe** i might....

**minghoe** have kicked him down the stairs

**woozi** for fucks sake

**woozi** i'll call the ambulance

**hitthekwan** i'll call manager hyung

**verdone** i'll call my mom

**puppycat** wha-

**puppycat** why

**verdone** idk i just wanna call my mom

 

 

~

 

 

**HOSH** tell mama chwe i say hi

**angelface** get in the goddamn ambulance soonyoung

 

 

~

 

 

**minghoe** i'm uh

**minghoe** i'm sorry soonyoung

**minghoe** nOT

**HOSH** THA

**HOSH** wait bitch

**HOSH** MINGHAO WHAT THE FUCK WHY

**minghoe** mwah~~

**HOSH** WHY AREN'T YOU SORRY YIU PUSHEDM E DOWN THE STAORS

**minghoe** that's for me to know and for you to never find out

**goodgemini** you ate his kimchi fried rice last week without asking him

**minghoe** JUNHUI

**minghoe** THE FUCK BRO

**goodgemini** don't call me bro i'm your BOYFRIEND

**verdone** your

**verdone** BROfriend 

**verdone** hahahaha

**verdone** good one hansol

**angelface** leave

**puppycat** get out

**woozi** and never come back

**verdone** :(

**goodgemini** hansol go die

**goodgemini** anygay

**mingew** you mean anyway

**goodgemini** no i don't

**goodgemini** anygay

**goodgemini** minghao i ratted you out because you just dont

**goodgemini** kick your bestfriend down the stairs because you're petty and then not apologize

**mother** he's right you know

**minghoe** >:(

**minghoe** >:{0 

**minghoe** i'm even mad in FRENCH

**wonton** how is that in french

**minghoe** it has a moustache

**woozi** i'm like 79% there to kicking you out of the group

**minghoe** no can't do that

**dino-saur** yes he can

**minghoe** seungcheol won't allow it

**woozi** i'll make sure he allows it

**dad** You will?

**woozi** i will ;)

**dad** He will.

**minghoe** god damn it

**joshuji** just

**joshuji** apologize in person minghao

**therock** yeah do it myungho 

**father** mind your own business minhyuck

**therock** >:{0

**minghoe** don't copy my emoji

**therock** sanha help me i'm getting attacked

**tallbeagle** i'm sleeping i can't help sorry :o

**chachawoo** sanha

**therock** you're.... sleeping

**tallbeagle** yes :D

**therock** than how are you typing in the gc

**tallbeagle** with my  _mind_

**hitthekwan** with your mind?

**tallbeagle** no

**tallbeagle** with my  _mind_

**puppycat** i- i don't understand

**mingew** how don't you understand?

**mingew** he's just using his  _mind_

**dkcountryreturns** how are you doing that???

**tallbeagle** doing what

**dkcountryreturns** making italics????

**mingew** with our

**tallbeagle** _mind_

**mingew**   _mind_

**minghoe** can we go back a few seconds

**minghoe** you're asleep

**minghoe** and texting at the same time

**minghoe** using your mind

**tallbeagle** yes using my  _mind_

**minghoe** i dont believe this

**minghoe** pics or it ain't happening

**mother** i'll go uh check his room

**father** im going too

**mother** fUCK

**mother** HE'S ACTUALLY SLEEPING 

**father** HE'S SNORING AND DROOLING AND EVERYTHING

**tallbeagle** stop they don't need to know about my ugly sleeping :(

**mother** I'M GONNA FAINT

**father** he did not move an inch or wake up when that text was sent

**father** his phone is right on the table beside him

**dad** WTF.... O.O

**woozi** i would make fun of cheol rn but..... this shit creepy

**joshuji** does this have to do with your convo from earlier?

**mingew** _maybe..... maybe not......_

**wonton**  STOP ur weirding me out 

**tallbeagle** hehe it's fun

**therock** NO IT'S NOT THIS IS WEIRD 

**angelface** i think

**angelface** this isn't even happening

**angelface** we're all probably so high rn we're imagining things

**angelface** so the question is.....

**angelface** who drugged us

**father** junhui

**goodgemini** excuse me

**father** so we gonna just pretend sevenscheme didn't happen? 

**father** it's probably you, wonwoo, AND seungcheol

**dad** Now, let's slow down for a second...

**dad** I thought we addressed I did not kill Jihoonie or drug Joshua.

**dad** And besides, Wonwoo was the sketchy one in that whole situation.

**wonton** exCUSE ME

**wonton** I

**wonton** I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL RIGHT NOW

**wonton** HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WASN'T THE ASTRO BOYS

**mother** okay, 1.

**mother** we are the astro MEN, excuse you.

**wonton** okay astro MEN sorry hyung

**mother** it's okay you're forgiven 

**mother** wait

**mother** LIKE HELL YOU'RE FORGIVEN

**mother** YOU JUST ACCUSED US.......... INNOCENT BEAUTIFUL TALENTED PURE AMAZING GROUNDBREAKING UNDERAPPRECIATED WELL-DESERVING CUTE FANTASTIC CRAZY SEXY COOL PRETTY MELODIC ETC ASTRO............ TO DRUGGING Y'ALL 

**father** myungjun

**mother** too much?

**father** too much.

**chachawoo** i don't know what a drug IS

**puppycat** that's a lie

**chachawoo** is not

**puppycat** do you need me to pull out my receipts

**chachawoo** ANYBI

**angelface** i agree it's cheol

**dad** Why!?

**angelface** idk i just feel like deep beneath..... you..... you're hiding something

**woozi** don't accuse my boyfriend of something like that John Han

**angelface** excuse me

**woozi** that's right.

**woozi** john han

 

 

_**woozi changed angelface's username to ' john han '** _

 

 

**john han** gasp

**john han** how dare you gremlin

 

 

_**john han changed woozi's username to ' gremlin '** _

 

 

**gremlin** i hate u bitch

**joshuji** y'all......... i don't think we were drugged

**mingew** i swear we're just using our  _minds_

**joshuji**  idc about mingyu he's been weird from the start

**mingew** ok rude

**joshuji** haven't you noticed who's been a bit quiet the past few minutes???

**HOSH** sorry i was taking a shit what did i miss lemme scroll back

**joshuji** oh

**joshuji** oh wait

**HOSH** BIWTCSHDF WHAT IS GOIN ON

**HOSH** SANHASADS MY DUDE...

**HOSH** HOW ARE OTU DOIN GTING

**tallbeagle** I TOLD YOU GUYS

**tallbeagle** with my  _mind_

**joshuji** nvm

**john han** wat were u gonna say shua?

**joshuji** i was... tryna be rational.... like oh soonyoung is pranking us ofc

**joshuji** bc he wasn't talking uno?

**HOSH** I SWERAR I M NOT DOISGN ANYTHING I REALDAY WAS ON THE TOILERET

**dkcountryreturns** he was!! i can confirm

**mother** we believe u <3

**verdone** i didn't not need ur confirmation seok

**hitthekwan** i can confirm as well omo

**verdone** SEUNGKWAN NO

**hitthekwan** seungkwan YES

**puppycat** can we please figure this out i'm TIRED

**dino-saur** i'm tired too 

**HOSH** seok and kwan just fell asleep

**tallbeagle** i'm already asleep even though i'm still talking beacuse

**father** we know

**goodgemini** because your mind

**tallbeagle** yes my  _mind_

**dad** I'm getting really sleepy as well.... 

 

 

~

 

 

**verdone** SO YOU'RE TELLING ME

**verdone** WE ACTUALLY GOT DRUGGED

**father** apparently so

**verdone** HOW THE HELL DID WE ALL END UP GETTING DRUGGED AT THE SAME TIME

**john han** the doctor said it was in our water???

**mother** we all hung out at ur place just hours before we uhh were all high or whatver

**dino-saur** i hate this i have a HEADACHE

**HOSH** i hate hospitals

**dkcountry** 2 times in 2 weeks that we had to go to the hospital omg

**gremlin** this iv is making me dizzy i wanna go HOME

**tallbeagle** THAT WAS NOT FUN :(((

**wonton** we need a water filter

**goodgemini** i don't think  water filter would have filtered out drugs...

**wonton** we need a water filter

**joshuji** the doctor said that our neighbors got whatever drugs they had or something in our pipes so that's how we all got contaminated 

**joshuji** the pipes are getting replaced as we speak

**dad** I'm just glad we were found...

**chachawoo** we should both send our manager hyungs something nice 

**puppycat** if he didn't find us....

**therock** we'd be fine omo

**hitthekwan** that's what YOU think park minhyuck.....

**john han** i propose

**john han** we just forget this ever happened

**john han** it was weird and i don't want the company to know we got drugged

**john han** or our fans 

**chachawoo** oh GOD that would be a mess

**dkcountryreturns** omg

**dkcountryreturns** it can be a huge secret

**wonton** it's not really a secret if 19 people know about it

**wonton** and that's not even counting manager hyungs and the hospital staff

**tallbeagle** omg!!!!!!

**tallbeagle** :DDD

**tallbeagle** OT19's first secret!!!!!!!!

**HOSH** OMG I LOVE SECRETS

**hitthekwan** OMG SHHHHHH Y'ALL ISSA SECRET

**dkcountryreturns** :DDDD A SECRET

**gremlin** y'all are children

**gremlin** plus i bet 10000 won that one of y'all already told someone the "secret"

**HOSH** gASp

**dkcountryreturns** i would NEVER

**tallbeagle** D; that's not how secrets work

**hitthekwan** how DARE you assume such a THING lee jihoon 

**gremlin** mmhm

 

 

~

 

 

_**private chat with gremlin and loey** _

 

**loey** so

**loey** i heard you guys got drugged

**gremlin** sigh

**gremlin** who told you 

**loey**  seungkwannie

**gremlin**  fucking knew it

**gremlin**  thanks

**loey**  WAIT JIHOON

**loey**  HOW WAS IT

**loey**  ANSWER ME

**loey**  i see how it is

**loey**  this is a personal offense

**loey**  jihoon

**loey**  lee jihoon

**loey**  jihoonieeeeeee~~~~~

**loey**  :( fine. don't answer :(((((((((((

 

 

**~**

 

 

**' OT19 '**

 

 

**gremlin** seungkwan

**hitthekwan** heh

**hitthekwan** heh

**hitthekwan** yes jihoon hyung?

**gremlin** i KNEW you'd be the one to spill

**hitthekwan** me??????????????? never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**gremlin** my sources say otherwise you snake

**hitthekwan** chanyeol hyung knows NOTHING he's LYING

**joshuji** sigh

**joshuji** seungkwan sweetie

**hitthekwan** i know jisoo

**joshuji** you see what you did wrong there?

**hitthekwan** yes i do see jisoo

**minghoe** LMAOOOOOOO U FUCKED UP

**hitthekwan** shut up minghao you still haven't apologized to soonyoung for kicking him down the stairs

**minghoe** and i REFUSE

**goodgemini** i'm gonna beat ur flat ass one day minghao i stg

**minghoe** thats abuse

**goodgemini** then u better run quick so it doesn't happen

**minghoe** I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME 

**goodgemini** i DO

**goodgemini** ur just a lil bitch

**dino-saur** can y'all shut UP

**dino-saur** you can fight any other time when it's not 4 AM AND PEOPLE (AHEM ME) ARE TRYING TO SLEEP 

**goodgemini** sorry chan

**goodgemini** see minghao?? it's very easy to just APOLOGIZE

**minghoe** you can't make me

**goodgemini** i think i can

**minghoe** you think?

**goodgemini** i know ;)

**dino-saur** oh my GOD i hate y'all GO TO SLEEP

**minghoe** i

**minghoe** i-i m

**minghoe** i'msoosor

**minghoe** i'm soraeywry

**minghoe** i'madkjfajas soryyawu

**minghoe** i can't do it

**minghoe** i physically can't do it

**minghoe** iaajdhmad soryadjasd

**dino-saur** i have a knife myungho

**minghoe** OK I'M DONE I'M SORYRRDAH GOODNIGHT

 

 

 


End file.
